At what age should you start kinda looking for a potential husband/wife?

[Anonymous]

like at what age should you stop dating to date and start getting more serious

[Lliam]

I didn't reach that stage until I was in my earlyish 30s. Before that, I had girlfriends but wasn't interested in getting married and settling down. Before age 33 or so, I had been around the block, had the freedom to explore the world and have fun without being tied down with commitments, had a stable income and assets, and had gained the maturity to make a life-long partner. I was ready to start the next chapter in my life.

The thing about me, though, is I was never that interested in having kids, so I as in no hurry to get married.

I was in a couple more relationships in my 30s, and finally met my future wife when I was 40. She is 2.5 years younger. We had both led full, fulfilling lives before we met but had never been married. We got married two years later and have been happily married now for almost 26 years. We've had a LOT of fun and built a wonderful life together.

Ours isn't the typical story, but it turned out great. We both had great lives before we met and we continue to do so.

[hahahmm]

Men tend not to take women seriously if those women sleep around a lot or have kids (result of sleeping around a lot or being dumb enough to have kids with low quality dudes). A lot of women have tons of sex in their 20s and early 30s and then start looking. At that point she has trained her mind to behave like a low value partner, not a potential wife. Guys are very afraid of marrying the wrong woman. Their standard for a wife is 100 times higher than the standard for a girlfriend. Lot of you women aren't ready to jump that distance. You can't just flip a switch one day and go from being a woman who has a different boyfriend every year or two to being that woman who gets a ring from a quality guy.

It takes investment of time & energy to build the kind of character that men find attractive in a potential wife. Likewise for a man to be the best potential husband takes investment on his side.

So you need a certain maturity of character... which means you are not only capable of being loyal but have proven this ability OR proven the ability not to need penises like a crack addict needs crack. In some societies people reach this level as a teenager. In others, like modern western society, it may take you till you are older. But at that point things are just backwards..

And you can ignore the cases where people married young and the marriage sucked. That just means they picked the wrong spouse. They skipped some steps when it comes to being & knowing what is quality. I write some about this in my mytakes.

[DizzyDesii]

I think in general and in all seriousness, at 25. But I personally started from a very early age lmao... like age 3. Shit i grew up on Disney films. Anyone i took interest in (regardless of if I was attending preschool, middle school, high school, college, or after school), I was looking to see potential prince charming/husband qualities in. I wasn’t allowed to date until I was 14 but even then, I still took it seriously. I don’t date for “fun”. Sure we can go on fun adventures but we need to be building a serious foundation along the way. Fck intentionally wasting time. Yea I chose wrong a lot of the time, but these are things I often didn’t realize until it was too late

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

My ex fiancé told me on our 5th date that he was dating to find a life partner and get married someday, so If I wasn’t serious about him, tell it now, it would more if he found out later.

I told him I was serious about him.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I was 22, he was 23. I love how naive he was. I am sure at that time he would never picture himself hurting me so much 4 years later.

[Nerdvana]

@lafemmefatale_1 How did he hurt you?

[Vegasrunner]

@lafemmefatale_1 That's probably why he's your ex he was too desperate.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

@Vegasrunner No, he wasn’t. He broke up with me and he was very popular among girls. In Asia, people date to marry. And that’s where he’s from, I liked it that he was so serious about me…

[Vegasrunner]

@lafemmefatale_1 Isn't ironic that women always use the metric of a man's popularity w/ women when describing the popularity of men they date but try to make the argument that a man attracting women doesn't show value? Anyhow what did you do to make him break up w/ you?

[Avicenna]

When you know you’re ready. 18-22 is generally too young, I’d say starting at 24-25 if you have stable employment. You definitely don’t want to wait to do it until all you’re mostly running into is people with kids and lots of emotional baggage.

[OlderAndWiser]

When you start thinking that you are ready to settle down into a long term commitment. For some people (a very few,) that might be as early as age 18. For most people I think it happens by the mid 20's.

[Anonymous]

The age at which individuals start considering or actively looking for a potential spouse can vary greatly depending on personal and cultural factors. There is no specific age that is universally applicable or appropriate for everyone. It ultimately depends on an individual's readiness, maturity, personal goals, and cultural context.

Some people may start thinking about long-term relationships and marriage during their late teens or early twenties, while others may focus on personal growth, education, or career development during this time. There are individuals who may feel ready for committed relationships and marriage at a younger age, while others may prioritize other aspects of their lives first.

It is important to emphasize that the decision to seek a potential spouse should be based on personal readiness and a genuine desire for a long-term, committed relationship. Rushing into marriage or feeling pressured to do so based on societal expectations can lead to unhappiness or dissatisfaction.

Ultimately, the right time to start looking for a potential spouse is subjective and depends on individual circumstances, goals, and emotional readiness. It's important to focus on personal growth, self-discovery, and establishing a solid foundation for yourself before entering into a committed relationship.

[BCRanger10]

If I may be so bold, no one should ever...e... ver..."kinda" pursue marriage. A boy should start thinking early on (as in early teens) about what kind of man he wants to become and then start making those decisions. That will determine what kind of woman he ought to pursue. Likewise with girls growing into women (and I have to say that out loud now because of the lie of transgenderism).

After that, I say let them get married at 17 or 18 if they want to. We really need to move on from the claim we've been raised with that you need to wait until your mid 30s to get married.

[magiusX26]

would like to state the flip side of your statenents sir. this also means you should not be "dating just to date" to begin with.

[msc545]

Start saving money for your divorce lawyers now. You will need it.

[BCRanger10]

@msc545 why?

[msc545]

70% chance statistically you will get divorced within 5 years of marriage. Not something to look forward to, and if you think you are somehow immune, think again. Lots of guys go into it believing that, and they sure do not believe it when they are done.

[BCRanger10]

@msc545 And why is that?

[msc545]

why do you think? Could it be related to the marriage and divorce data?

[BCRanger10]

@msc545 No, I mean why is it 70%?

[msc545]

Women benefit greatly financially from a divorce. They get property, money, and children. Men get fucked.

[BCRanger10]

@msc545 Have you considered that the problem then might be more with the people who are getting married, how they were formed, and the decisions they make?

[msc545]

Well yes, I have. Men tend to be naive and idealistic and think that they are capable of discerning a woman's character rapidly, and they marry such women without really knowing what the women are capable of doing. Women are obsessed with money and popularity and most have absolutely no problem divorcing and victimizing men in their quest for money and "better" men. Look up the term "hypergamy" for a better understanding of this problem.

[Leapfrog00]

Whenever you feel comfortable. Regardless of what others say about running out of time or needing to find someone by a certain age, its best to wait until you know you're with the right person. So many people are divorced because they thought they needed to get married. It will well be worth the wait when the time comes!

[Berethor]

You over 45, so you should done it a long ago, good luck finding a husband at that age.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypergamy#Research

[Asker]

i'm way younger than that, just put my age real high

[Telekinetic-Potato]

I don't know if I should be looking right now. I had a bit of a wild spell a few years ago and I think I know what I want in a woman but I just don't know if that woman exists or if she's going to be able to understand someone who lives like I do.

I want to have kids while I'm under 30 but I just don't know if I'm going to be In a position to do that.

It's a little frustrating to be caught between knowing I shouldn't rush, but feeling like time is flying by.

[Vegasrunner]

For men I don't think it's am age it's a status. Men shouldn't even begin to get married unless they have

- an income of 100k annually

- have 6 months saved

- have slept w/ over 50 women

- are over the age of 30

- have developed a daily physical and mental routine.

[Travis_Skyles]

I find the idea of dating to date strange and foreign. Shouldn't love be the reason you dating general? We have short lives why waste your best years when you're physically capable of doing the most forming memories with people that won't be in your life when you can't do those things.
I guess my answer would be as soon as you're looking to date you should be looking for someone you want to spend the rest of your life with.

[andreasderjuengere]

''Should'' is an invalid term when it comes to creating, shaping and running my own and personal life.

Conclusion: between 12 and 99 - if one must.

[MementoMori777]

Depends if you want kids or not I guess, if someone wants kids then I heard 35 was when women normally start having complications with getting pregnant.

[Simslover92]

I would say early to mid 30s because this is when you should be both financially ready to get married and have kids.

[humanearth]

I think most people start to really grow up about the age of 30-35. So that would be a good age.

Most younger people are just looking to play the field and make notches on the bedpost. So they don't make the best maggot material

[anon1903]

Do you want to? Because many people marry because they gotta.

If you want kids, you can always adopt. No harm in that.

But if you wanna go down the traditional rabbit hole, do it in your late twenties before you cross forty.

[Sarahr123]

People tell me to get serious next year (after I turn 26) but right now I am considering prospects. Since I want to be married by 30 I have to start considering now I guess.

[ArrowheadSW]

Well... Marriage isn't for everyone. Past a certain point, you have to start wondering if you really want to go through with it or not.

[monorprise]

For a woman 18 really, you can't ignore biology, for a man a few years later after he has more established himself.

[Apple1996]

Always date for seriously if you want to eventually get married. Dating for fun is for people that never want to settle

[Emelina]

I would say middle 30's and up, as I know I was more mature and wiser and started to have common sense about life by then.

[springxxx]

"A boyfriend should be a potential husband. A girlfriend should be a potential wife. Relationships are investments, not hobbies. Date with purpose."