You know if you try to fulfill a laundry list of who your perfect mate is then you have probably watched them pass you by on more than one occasion. They may never come back around. The thing is, only with a list can you compromise and make exceptions. Without it you are free to choose someone who fits your standards but maybe not all your requirements.
Depends on what it is. Is it something small, or something big that's hard to overlook even if you like them a lot?
I made exceptions a few times thinking they would change, and because i liked them enough so i overlooked what i didn't like about them. They even said they would "change", they knew it's bad for them, but they didn't, only just for a short period. I wasn't with them for long, so they might change with time still.
Yes. I find dating largely to be a losing proposition for a guy. You're almost always going to expend more effort towards a woman than you'll ever get back. So I have a rule I never expend any more effort than she's willing to give. My philosophy is there are 3.5billion women on the planet. I only need to find 1 worth the effort. And I have all the time in the world to wait for her.
I think most people's problems are they want something ans they want it right now.
Just to be clear, are you saying you make no exceptions because you rather wait for the one who checks all the boxes?
Opinion Owner
11 mo
Boxes, NO. I have like only 3 boxes. My expectations are pretty minimal. I'm simply saying I know what I bring to the table. Am I flawed absolutely, I'm OK with her being flawed. But being flawed is not excuse to not put forth effort.
it can be just turning a blind eye. Sometimes it is easier to do that. However a lot of times you give somebody special treatment becaues you want the m to like you.
I think that most of my rules are hard and fast. I don't think I ever made an exception to them. But if I did they would have to bring something else spectacular to the table.
I think it depends on why. If it's just that they are sexy, yes it's dumb. If there is more to it then it's a risk and a hope. Truth is a single date, even with someone who is not a good match may show more than you expect.
When you’re a hot guy then the so called standards women have disappear. Standards are only in place to keep away ugly and loser men. Average men may have a chance but once he makes one mistake he’s off to the gallows
I disagree but I doubt you care. Love is when emotion takes over. But if its not love yet then there's still a lot of logic in control. Hot men can get easily set aside if looks is the only thing they have going for them. I dont think some men can say the same tho. Good looks, good pussy, so beat it and then leave right...
But one of the other problems with this, unfortunately, if you choose to date someone who doesn't meet your standards, is the psychological battle of trying to justify that in your mind. And many people's concern is that this questioning could go on indefinitely, even after you've married them. And on top of that, you have to explain your decision to your friends and family.
Is there much to explain though if they matched everything else just not one major thing? (I mean everything is major in my book so to match a majority of majors but lack one major is... major?) lol
@DizzyDesii Well, I'm publicly known in the community as the guy who is waiting for marriage and waiting for his virgin wife. So that's kinda major. Lol
@DizzyDesii I think probably the main problem is I don't know who's a virgin and who isn't. If I don't know, then I'm not going to say anything. Because I'm not an asshole; I don't want to make anyone cry. I'm not going to take the risk of approaching a girl and then rejecting them after I find out. I feel like that would be cruel.
State it early in the convo. For example, its okay to say “Do you have kids because I personally don’t want any”. If they say they have kids, you’ll scratch eachother off the list. So its totally fine for you to say “I’m waiting til marriage and would prefer a virgin who will wait with me.” If they’re not that, you scratch eachother off the lost. ain't nun cruel about that
Not sure where you are going with this. I have made an exception. When you really like someone you think with emotions not always logic. Thats is jusy one of the ways you show you care. That being said I never put myself in a bad position though.
It depends on the situation i mean if they into a sport or food i dislike its okay but if they drink are into clubbing then i say if i marry them im turning a blind eye
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You're not lowering your standards, you're just taking a gamble on the person. They might just be the one for you.
I do love to gamble
I know you do. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose
The majority of times I win... few times I lose
I have to go with you. Maybe your good luck will rub off on me
You know if you try to fulfill a laundry list of who your perfect mate is then you have probably watched them pass you by on more than one occasion. They may never come back around.
The thing is, only with a list can you compromise and make exceptions. Without it you are free to choose someone who fits your standards but maybe not all your requirements.
Mmmm
Depends on what it is. Is it something small, or something big that's hard to overlook even if you like them a lot?
I made exceptions a few times thinking they would change, and because i liked them enough so i overlooked what i didn't like about them. They even said they would "change", they knew it's bad for them, but they didn't, only just for a short period. I wasn't with them for long, so they might change with time still.
But is it really an exception if they’re expected to change?
Yes. I find dating largely to be a losing proposition for a guy. You're almost always going to expend more effort towards a woman than you'll ever get back. So I have a rule I never expend any more effort than she's willing to give. My philosophy is there are 3.5billion women on the planet. I only need to find 1 worth the effort. And I have all the time in the world to wait for her.
I think most people's problems are they want something ans they want it right now.
Just to be clear, are you saying you make no exceptions because you rather wait for the one who checks all the boxes?
Boxes, NO. I have like only 3 boxes. My expectations are pretty minimal. I'm simply saying I know what I bring to the table. Am I flawed absolutely, I'm OK with her being flawed. But being flawed is not excuse to not put forth effort.
Fully agree
it can be just turning a blind eye. Sometimes it is easier to do that. However a lot of times you give somebody special treatment becaues you want the m to like you.
I wouldn't make an exception UNLESS i already knew we mutually liked eachother lmao
Remind me not to get on tour shit list
Your.
I think that most of my rules are hard and fast. I don't think I ever made an exception to them. But if I did they would have to bring something else spectacular to the table.
Do you think making that exception would be a dumb move though? Or is it just hoping for the best?
I think it depends on why. If it's just that they are sexy, yes it's dumb. If there is more to it then it's a risk and a hope. Truth is a single date, even with someone who is not a good match may show more than you expect.
I agree its dumb if its solely based on making the exception because theyre hot
When you’re a hot guy then the so called standards women have disappear. Standards are only in place to keep away ugly and loser men. Average men may have a chance but once he makes one mistake he’s off to the gallows
I disagree but I doubt you care. Love is when emotion takes over. But if its not love yet then there's still a lot of logic in control. Hot men can get easily set aside if looks is the only thing they have going for them. I dont think some men can say the same tho. Good looks, good pussy, so beat it and then leave right...
I dated a woman who liked the smell of ketchup. Once.
Bra... 😩
I broke up with up with right away! 😂😂😂
*up with her
She sound like a krusty musty hoe
Omg i just reread this. I initially thought you said she LOOKED like she smelled like ketchup 🤣
She was a krusty musty hoe, but she was fun.
Standards are dangerous. A narcissist comes across as competent because they mimic confidence.
I'd rather get to know the person first.
Hmm; that's a really good question. I would classify that as taking a risk.
But one of the other problems with this, unfortunately, if you choose to date someone who doesn't meet your standards, is the psychological battle of trying to justify that in your mind. And many people's concern is that this questioning could go on indefinitely, even after you've married them.
And on top of that, you have to explain your decision to your friends and family.
Is there much to explain though if they matched everything else just not one major thing? (I mean everything is major in my book so to match a majority of majors but lack one major is... major?) lol
@DizzyDesii Well, I'm publicly known in the community as the guy who is waiting for marriage and waiting for his virgin wife. So that's kinda major. Lol
You must be picky cause its so many virgin girls lol. But the problem is probably that most girls want to date a hoe
@DizzyDesii I think probably the main problem is I don't know who's a virgin and who isn't. If I don't know, then I'm not going to say anything. Because I'm not an asshole; I don't want to make anyone cry. I'm not going to take the risk of approaching a girl and then rejecting them after I find out. I feel like that would be cruel.
(But yes, girls wanting to date a man-whore is certainly more and more of an issue these days.)
State it early in the convo. For example, its okay to say “Do you have kids because I personally don’t want any”. If they say they have kids, you’ll scratch eachother off the list. So its totally fine for you to say “I’m waiting til marriage and would prefer a virgin who will wait with me.” If they’re not that, you scratch eachother off the lost. ain't nun cruel about that
@DizzyDesii I feel like that would be rude, though.
Some things are set in stone, but many other things are not, so there are always exceptions to be considered.
True
Not sure where you are going with this. I have made an exception. When you really like someone you think with emotions not always logic. Thats is jusy one of the ways you show you care. That being said I never put myself in a bad position though.
Nah im all about logic unless i love the person and then emotions slowly start to take over
That's kinda what I meant.
I don't think so. It just means that maybe you should change your standards or follow them.
Yea no room for adjustments
Okay
For me manipulation, grooming, bring a dumb ass, and toxicity and bring in love
Damn every word hit hard but i can see some truth behind it
Depends whether you can see colours to begin with. If not, you are colourblind anyway 🤷♂️
🥴🥴🥴
If I made an exception despite having standards I already know that it would backfire
Dang
It depends on the situation i mean if they into a sport or food i dislike its okay but if they drink are into clubbing then i say if i marry them im turning a blind eye
That's just something the heart does
I hate that because i prefer to use logic
So do I but...
Sometimes you just gotta make that exception lol