So I finally slept with this guy I've been seeing (it was great) but now it feels like he's being distant. what should I do. ask him? or play dumb?

[Anonymous]

We've been going on 2 ish dates per week for the past month and a bit (keeping it pretty PG) and just enjoying each others company. I thought we were progressing. He does all the right things and I haven't felt insecure or had to "wonder" what's up. but suddenly things feel slightly off.

I haven't exactly been the perfect player either (I've been a little distant/ not giving him much as I didn't want to come off clingy).

Im really not sure how to play this now. keep giving effort or just pull away a little and wait for him to come to me. rough times.

[Travi186]

It seems you both are lacking the one thing that starts and even maintains a relationship which is “communication”


there's also a lot of mental gymnastics going on that isn't going to get either of you anywhere anytime soon. You can't be distant then get disappointed that he's being just as distant, that makes no sense. If you want to see him ask for a date. Dont wait to see move he makes, otherwise this relationship will be doomed to fail before it gets anywhere more serious.


Others may be doing the same mental games in our society. But the evidence is showing it isn't working for the better, so why do it too?

[Asker]

You're right. this is helpful. I completely agree. Guess I'll be the one to grow a pair and ask. very good points

[Travi186]

Nothing wrong with taking a step just don’t sabotage yourself then wonder what went wrong. Be a little more assertive and aware of what your doing.

[Staximus]

Why are young people so afraid to communicate? You're acting distant and wondering why he is doing the same thing? Wake up and smell the coffee, lady. If you want somebody around, you should act like it or else they will think you don't. You're both a couple of wishy washy fools who are afraid to jump in with two feet. If the guy isn't marriage material then tell him to go kick rocks. If you see a future with him, call him tomorrow and say let's go get dinner or some shit. Get on with it already.

[Asker]

This is true. although I do agree with you, its tough as everyone my age is playing the same game