We had sex. Should I call him?

Question

I finally slept with the guy I'm seeing. He left my place and I haven't heard from him in two weeks. I've been on holiday and just come back.

Pretty disheartened and confused as to why I've heard nothing from him, but could he be waiting for me and wondering the same thing?

Should I leave him to contact me? Or do I play it casual with a "I'm home!" text?

laurieluvsit · Accepted Answer

I can understand why you have mixed feelings. I think I would too.

On one hand if he knows you were on vacation (American term for holiday :) ) then it could be he is waiting for your return and it might be good to let him know that you are back.

On the other hand. Why is he not inquiring about you. Most guys who are catching feelings for someone, would not be able to stop themselves and be curious out of their mind and at least text you or something.

An expression my dad taught me that has served me well over time is..."If you have nothing, you have nothing to loose". Which means simply text him and if he doesn't reply back or act excited that you are back then move on, he's not worth it and at least you found that out for sure in place of just assuming it.

The main thing is you don't want him taking advantage of you and using you just for sex and nothing else. That is a bad waste of time unless you are OK with that kind of arrangement, but it doesn't sound like you are. I could be wrong.

Good luck Ms DA!

Gloree · Accepted Answer

Sorry to break it to you but the guy wanted only one thing from you, sex. Now he has taken what he wants, so he has dumped you. It's not new. Close your legs until marriage. It is not hard.

But anyway, you can text him just to know if he is fine. Say "hey, are you alright? I haven't heard from you and had to wonder."

Leave it vague like that. Then wait. Of no response, call thrice. Of he don't pick, or return the call or sms after 24 hours, take my advise and learn to close your legs. Sex is not love.

ethanallen · Accepted Answer

I have had sex with a lot of women (perhaps around 50). I am always shocked at that number given how goofy looking I am. Still, women fall into two boxes for me.

Box 1 : I only want to have sex with her. I don't want to date her

Box 2 : She is an awesome woman and I want a relationship with her. Let's have sex.

I will have sex with women from either box. Its what I do after sex that determines whether she is in box 1 or box 2. If box 1, I , like your farmer friend, forget about the night and move on. It was fun. If box 2, I will write a short note and mail it the next day (no texting). I will tell how much our first night together meant to me. Three or four days later, I call to invite her on a date.

There are some rare exceptions where I approach a women with the intention of putting her in Box 1. However, after spending time together, I realize this woman has more value than sex and I convert her to box 2.

OlderAndWiser · Accepted Answer

Two weeks is an EXTREMELY long time to have no contact with someone who you have been dating at this level. I would suspect that you have been used and were merely a sexual conquest for him, but you know the situation far better than anyone else. Do you think, being honest with yourself, that he was genunely serious about a relationship with you?

Pinay_ako · Answer

Two weeks is a long time to go silent. What were the last words said between you two after that night?

Crafteroon · Answer

Did he know you were going on holiday?
Did he know when you would be coming back?

Basically if he didn't know, it's not a good sign to be quiet for 2 weeks.
If he knew, then waiting for a day after returning is okay, but it still doesn't look good.

ochitougly · Answer

You could try sending him a meme maybe? Something super casual zero effort and funny. But if he doesn’t respond I’m sorry to tell you he isn’t interested. You should then forget about him completely as if he would have died. He most likely will come back if you do that eventually. Men don’t like it when you get over them so easily but they come back because of they’re ego not because of you. Hope this helps! Stay strong! ❤️

Anonymous · Answer

You have to understand that most women see sex as their trump card... but if it is, then once you have done the deed, there is nothing more to continue with. When you remember what sex is (not what society programs you to view it as) then you will not be having sex with any man until he's qualified himself. Ask yourself why you had sex with him beyond being attracted...

maximumpower · Answer

Let him know you're still interested.
If you don't hear back, he's gone and you need to move on.
Think about this experience next time you are so inclined to jump into the bag with the next guy.
Don't be insulted or disappointed - this kind of crap has been going on since the beginning of time.
You're not the first and won't be the last.
Just don't make it habit if it bothers you.

ProVox · Answer

Ouch. Either way, regardless of gender, in my opinion, two weeks is rude and disrespectful.
How often did you contact each other prior to giving it up? Better question, how long did you normally go without correspondence before the deed?

Bananacake83 · Answer

Text him. Stop questioning yourself and just text him. If he replies cool, if he doesn't then you move on. That way you'll certainly have some answer.

20yearsolder · Answer

Did he know you were leaving on holiday pretty much right after you had sex? Otherwise don't waste your time on the dude.

DarkWinterNights · Answer

TWO weeks of silence? Isn’t exactly the best sign. If he knew you were going to be gone and unable to talk, it might be alright. But I would definitely text him first. If you wait he may just move on.

U4ea0 · Answer

You got pump and dumped. He wanted to screw you. If he was actually interested in you, he would have called.

Chazmatazz269 · Answer

Contact him. If he doesn’t respond, cut your losses. If he does, play it as it lies.

yucychan · Answer

You can text him but do expect that you were nothing more than a lay for him.

dustybiker · Answer

Never wait. Get it over with and be happy or move on.

RavVid · Answer

I think a I'm back or I'm home text and leave it to him after that.

AviatorTom · Answer

Text him and let him know that you're back from holiday, then let him make the next move.

genericname85 · Answer

not hearing from someone right after having sex sounds like you're being ghosted xD but if you want to chat, text him. nothing wrong with that.

anon1903 · Answer

I personally don't have the patience to wait for anyone. I'd suggest you call him up.

JPresidente · Answer

I agree with @laurieluvsit entirely. Very good advice.

exitseven · Answer

Wait for him to make the next move. Don't be too disappointed if you never hear from him again.

MountAverage · Answer

It's very simple. You want to know why he hasn't contacted you since, so that's what you're gonna ask him. Just send him a text asking him.

We had sex. Should I call him?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We had sex. Should I call him?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.