What would you ladies think about a guy like me? Am I a red flag?

[Anonymous]

I’m single by choice. And I’m 28. I got offered to do modeling, so I have the looks, but it might be a long time before I settle down and find a girl I actually want to be in a relationship with. I’m not gonna lie, but I slept with a lot of women. And I’m currently just having casual sex at the moment. I’m good at sex too, but anyways, I’m scared once I find the girl I want to be with that she won’t want to be with me because of who I am. I rejected a lot women’s offers on being their boyfriend over the years because I just wasn’t in love with them. And I didn’t want them to be upset in the future if I got into a relationship with them because I don’t feel the same way. The whole reason why I started sleeping with women casually is because I was in love in the past, and I got my heart broken, so I stopped caring about finding love anymore. So I’m just enjoying the moment. I’m actually really nice, and I always help others. I actually have a lot of people that tell me that they love me because of my personality (men and women, young or old). So I’m not an evil person. So what do you think?

[MzAsh]

You’re not a bad person, but your coping and victim mentality is a little concerning. Everyone gets their heart broken. That’s life, and it’s unrealistic to expect to go through life without being heartbroken. Of course, you can sleep with women casually, but to use something that happened to you as the reason would raise a red flag. Also understand that your sexual history may put out of being considered by a quality women with a less extensive track record. At least, you might have to work harder to prove your loyalty and fidelity once you do get serious with a woman.

[Boomchakalaca]

A man with a number of partners can be a turn off for me, as i have had only one partner. U say u do modeling, Having a lot of partners while also doing modeling comes off as egotistical to me, but i would hav to know u better in order to make my decisions.

[Asker]

I’m sorry, but I just love sex. And I don’t do modeling, I’m just saying I got offered to do it. I have a good career, so I have no need for it.

[Boomchakalaca]

Well it sounds like ur having fun at the moment and some people wouldn't mind… im just saying u might not attract the right women for u for marriage

[Asker]

Would it be wrong to lie about how many girls I slept with? I’m just scared that a girl I really like will think of me as a manwhore or something…. :.(

[Boomchakalaca]

Yes it would be wrong!! Imagine finding out ur partner lied about having 5 partners when they had 30 😳🥲
I hav to break it to u but u are a man o’ war

[Asker]

Fuck, that hurt 😞. I don’t know if it’s because I talked about my past love or what, but this is making me cry right now.

[Boomchakalaca]

Chill. Some women dig a man with experience but u got to be careful with whom u marry. Dont cut ur losses too short

[Shamalien]

One night stands are so lame dude. Sex without a condom is barely worth it. So much better to connect with someone deeply before sex. I had my heart shattered about 8 months ago and I know the feeling of just wanting to chase pleasure instead…and I think a short phase of that is okay, but don’t let it consume you or you will ward off the good girls

[Asker]

Honestly it just numbs the pain of what I felt for that girl I loved in the past. I still tear up when I talk about her, but it fills that void or emptiness inside me because I just forget it when I’m kissing them or having sex.

[Shamalien]

Man I’m sorry. I know what you mean. My ex did a number on me as well by telling me she loved me for the first time as she broke up with me, and then was so fucking cold when I just wanted one phone call for closure. You’ll be alright brother, but you need to learn to let go and move on truly instead of just burying yourself in distractions. Hookups will numb the pain, but a true love will cure it. Don’t give up on that glory for some cheap ass. I mean sure hit some cheap ass maybe a few hookups but don’t become consumed by it as you will be defined by that eventually

[Avicenna]

Yeah, they'd see red flags. But you can fix that.

[Asker]

By not having one night stands? Is that how?

[Drooogie4]

There is nothing wrong with casual sex or not being ready to settle down yet.

BUT, you're gonna need to address this one heartbreak you had. Whenever you are wanting to settle down, you cannot make the past someone else's problem. And by the way that you seem to feel it effects you, I'd recommend starting to unpack that sooner than later.

[mandyfire98]

You're not a bad person for having sex with people. As long as you're not hurting anyone then there's nothing wrong with it. Be safe, have fun.

[Asker]

But would determine whether or not you want a boyfriend like that? I’m scared that It’ll turn away someone I love

[mandyfire98]

Well if you have trouble committing then yes it's an issue and if you don't do well in relationships and prefer when you're single more then relationships then just continue what you're doing. Don't look for relationships.

[Asker]

I do good in relationships, but I’m the past, I broke up with girls because I no longer had feelings for them. And it broke their hearts, so I have to be sure I love that girl before I date her. I don’t want others to suffer like me

[mandyfire98]

You need to work out why you didn't have feelings for them anymore

[Asker]

Yeah, you’re right. I need to work on myself. I’m just afraid I’ll never be fixed, or good enough to find a girl I love. But thank you, I appreciate all you wrote

[LazerBean]

Yes, men who are promiscuous and heavily emotionally damaged are a serious red flag.

[Asker]

I’m sorry 😞. This hurt my feelings because I realize it’s gonna be hard for me for a good woman to trust me