Is it wrong for me to want to try to pursue a 21 year old?

[Anonymous]

She's 12 1/2 years younger than me. I almost always prefer older women, but I don't know.. I was interested in her... although maybe she thinks I am too old for her.

[jennifer_bloom]

If you want a stable relationship, you can’t punch above your level. My grandpa married a very rich woman who was 20 years old and very beautiful but my grandpa studied at a school that is over 50 times more difficult to get into than Harvard and made over twice as much as the average person in his very rich town in a age where almost everyone made the same amount of money. You can chase a girl who is more young and physically attractive then you, but can you back it up with your own credentials?

[exitseven]

that is it in a nutshell.

[ShellyB]

It is not wrong but it may be unwise or for the wrong reasons. However every situation is different so I wouldn't judge based only on the ages, my guess is that it would prob. not work out in the long run but I could be wrong. JMO!

[AviatorTom]

It's never wrong to let someone know you are interested in them. Their reaction will let you know if you should continue though.

[Avicenna]

If you two are compatible, and want to date each other, do it. You're consenting adults.

[kylee2437]

Yes it is. Usually men that stoop this low in age have some kind of immaturity issue that women their age do not prefer/condone.

[rukus88]

Men that do this know their value. Your just mad he isn't willing to settle. Your opinion is based off insecurity and is an excuse women tell themselves when they are jealous of prettier, younger women, who still have their purity. Your an emotional coward.

[kylee2437]

@ruku88 🤣🤣🤣 I’m 25 son, I’m still young and going. I just been 21 years old and have experiences and know older men going for 21 year olds are usually 1. Not good enough for their age 2. Men that want to bullshit which women their age will not let them do.

[Asker]

I don't think I've ever been on a date with someone born after 1993/1994, so this is an exception, but don't know if she's even interested.

[kylee2437]

@asker I’m going to tell you now honestly, unless this girl is different than people her age, you probably aren’t going to like her especially if you are used to older women.

[rukus88]

You won't until you ask her. Don't let this cunt shame you into settling for a lesser woman. You both deserve a chance to give each other a try. IF you get to know her and your not into her no biggie that's what dating is for. Ask yourself, how is that different than any other woman?

[kylee2437]

@rukus88 why should any man take advice from someone that freeingly calls others a cunt? No 21 year old should be a 33 year olds science experiment.

[rukus88]

No he is too good for women his own age. Just because your not in your thirties yet doesn't mean you can't still regurgitate leftist ideologs.

[kylee2437]

@rukus88 from my experiences, most men that stoop to wanting to date relatively younger women do not make the cut that is acceptable to women their age in some kind of way, sorry you are hurt by that.

[rukus88]

I'm sorry your insecure. got anything you haven't already said, but posted just to appear to still have something to say?

[kylee2437]

@rukus88 what would I be insecure about? Me being honest about my past and current life experiences and what is pretty typical?

[rukus88]

again more shaming attempts, YOU got called a cunt, because YOU are being... drumb roll... A CUNT! tadaa!

[kylee2437]

@rukus88 you are calling me insecure, when there’s no real reason as to why I’d be insecure lol yeah any angry man that has his feelings hurt is going to call a random woman a cunt , typical keyboard warrior moves

[rukus88]

😂😂😂😂

[mommymommymommy]

I've seen worse

[rocksongwriter]

So Leo DeCaprio has an issue that women his age "do not prefer/condone" and so that's why he has to go for women in their early 20s? Not buying it.

[kylee2437]

@rocksongwriter uhhhh yep and that’s called he doesn’t know how to settle down and he probably never will. He’s been through several women, yes he is the issue

[rocksongwriter]

I think it's more of he desires younger women (as do most men) and he has the looks/fame/fortune to pull off getting them.

[kylee2437]

@rocksongwriter so he has no desire to settle down and that’s his issue? Got it , thank you for proving that he indeed does have an issue.

[rocksongwriter]

Maybe he does desire to settle down but his relationships just don't work out for the same reasons that other people's relationships don't work out.

[kylee2437]

@rocksongwriter his dating history suggests that his relationship problems are a result of him not wanting to settle down and that’s why he goes for younger. It’s a no brainer.

[rocksongwriter]

I can't speculate as to why his relationships have ended as neither he nor his former partners have disclosed why they split.

[kylee2437]

@rocksongwriter then you are the only one that is stupid as to why his relationships haven’t worked out because most memes going around about him have to do with the age range he goes for and how he doesn’t last in relationships. Go ahead and play the fool so you can prove your “point” 🙄

[rocksongwriter]

I would say that you are the only one that is stupid -- as you are trusting memes as being a reliable source of information.

[kylee2437]

@rocksongwriter or you are trying to deflect from the bullshit everyone else is seeing, and that’s typically what manipulative men do.

[rocksongwriter]

I'm just saying none of us know why he split with his exes as none of them have said why -- and memes are made to be jokes and are not news sources. So if you read it in a meme, it might not be true. Even if you read it in a lot of memes, it still might not be true.

[kylee2437]

@rocksongwriter so in this case, a meme isn’t true because you want your point to be proven. The example you brought goes to show that age differences like this rarely rarely rarely work

[rocksongwriter]

Psssh... most relationships in general rarely work. People break up all the time. And I'm not saying the meme isn’t true because you want your point to be proven... I'm saying we don't know if it's true or not. We don't know why he split with his exes. You, being super judgy, claim you know exactly why he split with his exes when, in reality, you don't.

[rocksongwriter]

I meant "And I'm not saying the meme isn’t true because I want my point to be proven..."

[kylee2437]

@rocksongwriter it’s not being judgmental, it’s a point where if a person has more capability of being mature and weighing out their options of what wanting an age gap relationship could mean for them , then they should be asking themselves why they even want that. He is more of an adult in this situation.

[kylee2437]

And mindset you if this was a woman asking this, I would be saying the same stuff. Older people should not be invading a younger adults space.

[kylee2437]

Mind*

[rocksongwriter]

You're saying you know why his relationships ended when you don't and you're making judgements about him and his character based on why YOU THINK he broke up with his exes and why YOU THINK he goes for younger women... that's being judgmental.

[rocksongwriter]

"Older people should not be invading a younger adults space." What if it's the younger adults invading the older adults space?

[kylee2437]

Why would no one make judgments on his character when he is in and out of relationships and conveniently chooses younger women? That is very plausible for people to make judgments for

[kylee2437]

If a younger person chooses to go for older people, the older person knows better so 🤷🏻‍♀️

[rocksongwriter]

"If a younger person chooses to go for older people, the older person knows better so" Ah! The "let's hold older people accountable for their decisions but not hold younger people accountable for decisions". I get it.

"Why would no one make judgments on his character when he is in and out of relationships and conveniently chooses younger women?"
Because we don't know why he's in and out of relationships and why he chooses younger women. Also because it's none of our business why he's in and out of relationships and it's none of our business why he chooses younger women.

[kylee2437]

@rocksongwriter it has nothing to do with not holding younger people accountable , it has to do with the fact that a younger person going for older people usually is going for things they have not learned about yet and that is because of lack of life experiences. And yes people with more life experiences should be held more accountable, which is why it is illegal in all states for an adult to date a 15 year old

[kylee2437]

@rocksongwriter that’s how you feel but the memes made were judgements BECAUSE people have plausible reason to make judgments when he was more of a grown adult than ALL of the women he has been with. He’s the common denominator. Stay mad about it

[kylee2437]

And if those women were truly the problem, why does he still continue to go for younger women when the age is a common denominator between these ladies? Riddle me that

[rocksongwriter]

Maybe he tries to date older women but they're judgmental like you and judge him based on his dating history so he's forced to return to dating younger women.

[kylee2437]

Lmfao hunny bun , I’m not older , I’m 25. Your explanation sounds like “women his age judge him because he shows signs of a man child , so he goes for women that wouldn’t judge that because they don’t know better”

[rocksongwriter]

I never said you were older. I said maybe older women are judgmental toward him the same way you are judgmental toward him.

[kylee2437]

Yes and people have a right to be judge mental in his dating history as him going for younger women and it not working out showing signs of an incompetent man child.

[rocksongwriter]

Ouch! Poor Leo!

[kylee2437]

@rocksongwriter sorry it’s just the truth. I’ve dated someone 32 when I was 22 and I couldn’t believe hold childish he was in the end. It made me question why I was going for men so much older when they weren’t providing what I was looking for in older men at that time point

[kylee2437]

How childish *

[rocksongwriter]

I guess I shouldn't ask you your thoughts 83-year-old actor Al Pacino and his 29-year-old girlfriend that he just had a baby with.

You can't base your opinions of all older guys in relationships with younger women based on one dude who was 32 that you once dated three years ago.

[kylee2437]

@rocksongwriter he went for her because she’s one in the few that would flirt for her and we all know her motive was money based

[kylee2437]

And yes I can because it’s not just him. I still have older men trying to be manipulative towards me except I know the bullshit and cut it where it starts because I’ve gained life experiences, something a young 20 year old is pretty much incapable of having

[rocksongwriter]

I hope you jump at opportunities as much as you jump to conclusions.

[kylee2437]

It’s not jumping to conclusions, it’s called not buying into an older man’s bullshit just because he’s attracted to my age. That’s the issue men attracted to an age.

[kylee2437]

Another comment here said it best, if age is the first thing that jumps out at you when it comes to a person, then you aren’t attracted to them, you are attracted to their age.

[rocksongwriter]

I was referring to your comment "he went for her because she’s one in the few that would flirt for her and we all know her motive was money based". Maybe she finds him handsome. Maybe she's attracted to his charisma. Maybe he likes her for her personality or her spirituality or her sense of humor.

[kylee2437]

@rocksongwriter wow a lot of counter arguments you seem to make sound rather delusional.

[kylee2437]

www.etonline.com/.../al-pacino-and-noor-alfallah-93135

You really think she finds him attractive? You have to be out of your mind and delusional LOL

[rocksongwriter]

Perhaps they sound delusional to people who have much less life experience, such as yourself.

[kylee2437]

No that sounds delusional at best and an argument you are spewing to feel like your point is proven. We all know the agenda with that relationship whether you want to admit to it or not

[rocksongwriter]

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. She definitely could find him attractive. I once had a roommate (who was in his late 30s) who was infatuated with Jane Fonda who was in her early 80s and talked about how he would date her despite her being 45 years older than him. True story.

[kylee2437]

@rocksongwriter yeah Jane Fonda holds herself to attractive beauty standards. Martha Stewart is also. Al Pacino- does not. Your view point is coming from a view point of delusion because you want to be right so badly

[kylee2437]

Al Pacino is a man where if you didn’t know who he was, you would just think he’s just an old average man. What young woman in society is going for average men his age unless if going for sugar daddy reasons?

[rocksongwriter]

Um, no. My point of view is coming from the fact that just because you don't find him attractive doesn't mean that there aren't other twentysomething women who do find him attractive (like his girlfriend). What you personally find attractive or unattractive in men isn't true for all women. Surely there have been men that you don't find attractive that other women do find attractive. Al Pacino is one of those men.

[kylee2437]

@rocksongwriter yeah no dude, you sound delusional and are trying to evade the fact that his most valuable aspect superficially is his money.

[rocksongwriter]

Wow, so you only value people based on their money? Try valuing people based on their character.

[kylee2437]

@rocksongwriter when someone is worth 120 million, a person that has the motive of money will put up with whatever which is why she went for someone that is 80 years in age to begin with.

[rocksongwriter]

But you do admit it's possible that her motive isn't money and that she might be attracted to him for other reasons... like his personality or character, right?

[kylee2437]

@rocksongwriter yeah what percentage of that is attraction? Probably 2% chance if that. Any one with a lick of common sense can understand she went for him because he is closer to death and is leaving behind money.

[rocksongwriter]

You assume she's in his will. Maybe he dies and leaves her nothing.

[kylee2437]

She has a child with him, that child is set for life. This is where common sense comes into play which you have proved you don’t want to use over and over again.

[rocksongwriter]

You assume the child is in the will. He might leave everything to his three other children or stipulate in his will that all of his money be donated to charity.

[kylee2437]

Oh boy you just keep choosing to evade common sense over and over again. Just take the L. If this conversation wasn’t attached to the agenda of the question , you would say she’s with him for the money.

[rocksongwriter]

"you would say she’s with him for the money."

I would say that no one can say for sure why she's with him without asking her. Only she can tell us why she's with him.

[kylee2437]

@rocksongwriter again you are evading common sense because you want to be right. You literally have asked before if women would have babies with a man just for his money if he was a millionaire

[rocksongwriter]

Wrong. What I asked was: "Ladies: would you have a dozen children with your spouse if your spouse was a millionaire?" In other words, once you're already married, if your husband one day becomes a millionaire, does your partner's new resources play a role in determining how many children you want?

I did NOT ask if women would have babies with a man just for his money. By the way, the majority of people voted "no" in that poll! The majority of people do not allow their partner's resources to play a factor in whether they want children with that person and how many children they want if they do want children.

[kylee2437]

@rockspngwriter yes because you asked a bunch of average women. In order for that woman to be able to touch base with Al Pacino , she had to have been involved in Hollywood life in some kind of way. That didn’t just happen out of no where.

[kylee2437]

And my point is proven, she is an actors daughter on top of the point she has dated other older celebs.

[rocksongwriter]

I asked a bunch of women. Whether or not they're "average", I cannot say. If she's an actor's daughter, then she may have "daddy issues" and be attracted to Pacino because he's an actor like her father was. She may have picked Al in particular because they have similar interests and maybe he's a fun guy to be around.

[kylee2437]

@rocksongwriter daddy issues and dating for money go hand in hand.

[rocksongwriter]

I would disagree with that statement. I've definitely seen women date much older men who are poor.

[kylee2437]

@rocksongwriter yeah no you disagree with everything because you want to be right, it’s quite apparent now.

[rocksongwriter]

No, I disagree with you because everything you're saying is wrong.

[kylee2437]

@rocksongwriter ummm no you have bounced into about 5 different subjects now to deflect what I’ve been through as a young woman and what other women have been through also. This is why by the time women hit the age of 30, they pretty much don’t like men and are happier single

[rocksongwriter]

I'm not deflecting.

"This is why by the time women hit the age of 30, they pretty much don’t like men and are happier single"

Are you saying women in general don't date after 30? Hahahahahahaha!

[kylee2437]

There’s plenty of studies going around that women are happier being single than men, so yes relatively women are tired of men

[rocksongwriter]

You do realize that saying more women are happier being single than men is not logically equivalent to saying that there are more women are happier being single than women who are unhappy being single, right?

I mean if 2% of single women surveyed are happier being single and 1% of single men surveyed are happier being single... then a larger percentage of single women happier than single than men -- but focusing on 2% of single women who are happy ignores the 98% of single women who are miserable.

[kylee2437]

@rocksongwriter now you are arguing against science, amazing.

[rocksongwriter]

How am I arguing against science?

[rocksongwriter]

"In data from the General Social Survey between 2010-2018, analyzed by Wilcox and researcher Nicholas Wolfinger, married women between the ages of 18 and 50 reported significantly higher rates of happiness than their divorced, separated, or single and never married counterparts."

Source:
www.catholicnewsagency.com/.../are-single-women-actually-happier-study-misinterprets-data-researchers-say

According to Psychology Today, the unhappiest people in America are:
-Female
-42 years old
-Unmarried (and no children)

So it sounds like singleness isn't making adult women happy at all.

Source:
www.psychologytoday.com/.../meet-the-least-happy-people-in-america

[kylee2437]

Your study is outdated.

[UniquelyBasic]

I think it's cringe when someone is specifically looking for a huge age gap relationship. That goes both ways for women and men but if you just happen to like the person where the age gap is sizeable then I think it's fine to date them for the most part.

[Kiss_Me]

Absolutely nothing with it at all.

You are expressing a potential preference or opinion. There are some that will attempt to bash you for having an opinion or preference other than their own. Let them wallow in their own hate.

As long as the two of you are consenting adults and truly into each other, go for it.

[Apple1996]

Yes you are to old for her. Date someone your own age or don't date at all if you are that immature. Men who think this shit is okay need to go to therapy and work on themselves before they ruin a young woman's life.

[kylee2437]

Yup agreed! A woman her age should be focusing on other things, not dealing with a man that has a 90% chance of being a man child in important dating aspects

[Apple1996]

@kylee2437 exactly 20s are a important time for a person to be developing and learning about themselves and what they want out of life. They shouldn't be tied down to some old man.

[rukus88]

*Blownout whore #2 enters the arena* Their bitter and angry at men because we don't want them, don't let their pain cost you your happiness

[Apple1996]

@rukus88 nah that's ridiculous. Everyone wants a bite of this apple 🍎

[kylee2437]

@rukus88 I’m 25 and still young, I’m very uninterested in the current dating pool

[Agagagagaga]

And how many women date men older than men? Significantly older than them? Are they immature also... or just independent women? 🙄

Women who think this shit is okay should go to therapy and work on themselves before they ruin an older man’s life.

😄😉💩

[Agagagagaga]

@Apple1996 Doubtful. You’ve likely been nibbled down to nothing more than a dried out sour core.

🍎 🐛 🕳

[Apple1996]

@Agagagagaga those women need help to

[Apple1996]

@Agagagagaga but the older person should know better to stay away. Younger person takes time for them to realize wrong vs right in these situations

[Apple1996]

@Agagagagaga I'm still a juicy apple 🍎

[Agagagagaga]

@Apple1996 The space between your legs is as dry as the Sahara.

[Agagagagaga]

And the younger person should know better. Why do you want to chase someone who will probably die 20 years or more before you do, and who will likely have health problems while you’re still young and active.

Kinda dumb.

[Apple1996]

@Agagagagaga i wish lol I'm a sex addict so literally the opposite my kitty is dripping all day long

[Apple1996]

@Agagagagaga they get groomed by older men and don't see how obviously stupid it is to be with them

[Agagagagaga]

Like I said. A used up, hollow, desiccated core 🐛🐛🐛🐛🍎.

🤷‍♂️

[Apple1996]

@Agagagagaga being a sex addict doesn't mean I'm used up but okay

[kylee2437]

You know many men are predatory when they think 25-26 is old lol

[ProbablyClueless]

Wrong? Not necessarily; it's just odd. What is the basis of your connection with this young woman? Like, what's the thing that you look at and say "I want to spend time around this girl because _____"?

[Asker]

I mean, she’s not like a normal 21 year old. She didn’t go to college to take advantage of some favorable opportunity she got. Also, I think she was 18 when she bought her own house.

[ProbablyClueless]

That is definitely NOT enough to say someone isn't a normal 21 year old. Buying her own house at 18 is pretty impressive though

[slatyb]

Maybe? What is she doing with her life now? What do you imagine would happen if she formed a relationship with you? The worst thing you can do is derail her plans before she met you.

[Asker]

She's working for a controversial far-right media figure. lol

[slatyb]

Then she's an adult playing an adult game. Go ahead and ask her. If she were still in college I would say no -- you would distract her from her studies and that's not nice.

[Asker]

She forewent college to take this job

[rukus88]

Go for it king! your in your prime and she is in hers. women our age hit the wall, they are fat, blown out, or single moms. Dont settle for a lesser woman just because we reach our dating market peak later in life.

[Apple1996]

Men hit their prime in their early-mid 20s. After that they turn into grumpy old grandpas

[rukus88]

@Apple1996 That's not even close to true. Men aren't put together until their mid 30's. And women don't run the race, they take a buss to the finish line and pick the winner.

[Apple1996]

A peak isn't about being put together. It's about looks, sex drive, if youe dating material. Once men hit 30 all this is over for y'all. Women peak later on in life. Probably just has to do with the fact that men die sooner.

[rukus88]

@Apple1996 ROFLMFAO!!! your beauty is a dumpster fire after 30, you've been blown out by more men, you have kids, you can't maintain a good body. Men have more money, more attractive qualities. Why would we settle for an old bag that other guys got the best years of?

[Apple1996]

Women peak looks/sex wise in their 30s-40s. That's just how nature made us. We don't look like a dumpster fire at all

Your honestly projecting a lot here. If you think old men are so good looking then you are free to go be with them lol women stay good looking basically forever. Go outside and look around most women are put together while most men look like shit and that goes for all ages 😂

[Apple1996]

Nah my husband does know he's getting old tho lol and I'm not a feminist at all so not sure why you'd say that. I'm basically a tradwife so pretty much the furthest thing from a feminist

[BoopBoopBeep]

Don't "pursue"... make your intent known. If she's not receptive move along to the millions of others who are.

[Asker]

I don’t think I should be that obvious given I met her at a function I was at for work. She may be in contact with other people at my company. She works for a controversial media/political figure.

[Anemone978]

No it is fine.. but it might not work out in the long run because you will always be in different places in your lives..

[Lis-the-librarian]

No, nothing wrong with that. Both adults and she can decide for herself if she wants to be with you.

I would even think it would be better for younger women to date older men as younger guys are really immature and tend to just use women.

[HoneyButterCup525]

You know 12 years is quite sustainable. Go ahead it's not like she is a minor. and since your 30 something your not old at all and she won't think your old either.

[BlackJeep]

Depends on your motive. If she's an old soul and you are happy together then why not?

If you notice an age difference then I think you are doing it for the wrong reasons

[BCA6010]

I wouldn't date someone that much younger than me.

[DizzyDesii]

I personally think you’re too old for her, but my thoughts have never stopped peoples actions

[Anonymous]

No its not wrong. You are both adults. Plus most men prefer women that are younger/the same age as them (NOT KIDS) though.

[Jazzy54]

Nope. Not at all. If she’s mature and the feelings are mutual, go for it! 😌

[Drumlin2001]

She's old enough to make her own choice. Ask her out, if she says no then back off

[zagor]

No, not if she appears interested, but if she thinks you're too old then probably better to look elsewhere otherwise it gets stalker-ish.

[Anonymous]

It's not wrong per se. But the odds of lengthy, successful relationship are not with you when you get into gaps larger than 9 years. Good luck man!

[DextroShade]

Not wrong at all, she is an adult and the man should be older.