Why do people go after looks when your dating someone?

[Anonymous]

Let me give some context. Me and my girlfriend had a rocky start to our relationship and she would vent to her friends (and still does) about how I used to behave and how bad I was. They always say she's beautiful and can do so much better and they call me ugly and attack my appearance 💀 why is that necessary? Wouldn’t it make more sense to attack my character? I’m not even that ugly but my looks get attacked from something that happened in the past and I’d be lying if I said it didn’t do a number on my self esteem and a guy’s confidence means a lot in a relationship and it destroys my confidence. Why do people HAVE to attack my looks? How should I handle this?

[D_Bone_Steak]

It's just one of the go-to attacks for stupid people. Looks, the size of your dong, your intelligence, and they'll even speculate how much vagina you can get.

That's how I know I've already won the argument... they resort to one of those things as if I really give a fuck what they think about me. Truly intelligent people will stick to what you've said or have done and pick that apart instead of resorting to that kind of bullshit.

It's especially funny here online where people resort to that shit but if they saw me in real life they'd drop to their knees and beg for my junk in their mouth. They're just not smart enough to attack something that would be worth attacking.

How do you handle it... just see it for what it is... mentally disabled people trying to hurt your feelings. Laugh them off. Don't give a fuck. And then rub how much you don't give a fuck in their face.

[Lliam]

Those people who are criticizing your looks are ass holes. Maybe they are jealous. I don't know.

I wouldn't date anyone I wasn't physically attracted to. I mean, that's the first thing you notice about someone. But my idea of physically attractive isn't based on what other's might think. I have my own preferences. Although I do want to be proud to be seen with her.

One I get to know a potential girlfriend, other things become important like personality, character, ethics and values.

[Ask247]

To be honest, I feel people who have high hopes or expectations, judge looks over character. Appearance is the first thing people notice, but in the end, it’s the character that matters and appearance isn’t as important. It’s the personality/character that makes someone more attractive. Let’s call it the extra glow.


Everyone has different views in what they find attractive - Personality and appearance. That is their opinion, don’t think deep about it.

[anon1903]

Friends usually side up with you, during romantic crises. If you have your guy friends, at least one of them will tell you she's not even hot or bitch about how she doesn't put out at all or enough.

Pay no attention to them.

[OlderAndWiser]

1. There's nothing you can do about it.

2. Other people get to decide whether you are attractive or ugly. Your opinion of yourself doesn't matter.

3. If you were acting like a dick, I doubt that the ONLY thing they said was that you were ugly.

4. They were simply using whatever devices they could to encourage her to dump your ass and find a better boyfriend.

[inhua]

it's called the Halo Effect/Devil Effect where perceived positive attributes are attached to other perceived positive attributes and perceived negative attributes are attached to to other perceived negative attributes. there's scientific studies to back this up

this means the same objective behavior is perceived differently based on a singular attribute that may be on opposite ends of the spectrum e. g. good looks vs ugly looks

for example

handsome + flirting = charming / ugly + flirting = creepy

handsome + smart = genius / ugly + smart = Mr. Know-it-all

handsome + skilled = talented / ugly + skilled = dangerous

handsome + confident = humble / ugly + confident = arrogant/cocky

handsome + shy = cute / ugly + shy = weirdo

handsome + funny = hilarious / ugly + funny = offensive/rude

handsome + video gaming = cool / ugly + video gaming = childish/immature

handsome + kind = gentleman / ugly + kind = manipulative/grooming

[devilish-cutie]

looks are also important but its not ok for anyone to insult you and tell you that you are not good enough for your partner and u shouldn't care about their opinion but your own

[ansbebhenw]

Because physical attraction matters to but the things you might find ugly about yourself I would compliment bc why not

[Iron_Man]

I’m sorry to hear that very immature of them.

[Anonymous]

Because 90% of dating is show for other people. Most people don't love the person they're with. Most people are waiting for that person to come along so they can dump the person they're with. Sorry for the dose of reality.😆

[Malwi93]

People in general attack looks first things first if they hold something against you

[In_Trance]

What else can you go after when you don't know them?

[Anonymous]

You have to be stronger and more secure in how you see yourself.

[EaterPeter]

Looks comes first