So, we went a sailing trip yesterday with my boyfriend, his sister and a few friends. My boyfriend was the captain , as it's his father's boat. His sister "invited" herself without asking and didn't do much effort to help with the boat chores, although she is more familiar with sailing than me and our friends, and we did more effort to help my boyfriend. So, when we were about to leave, my boyfriend asked her to go and raise the anchor with a remote control, as he was at the wheel and was accelerating. At this time, she was showing pictures of her cat to our friends and ignored my boyfriend's request. He told her to go like 2-3 times and kept ignoring him and showing cat photos. So my boyfriend, took her phone away , so that she would go and help him, and finally when she did, she told him in front of everyone "I am one word away, so that dad will never give you the boat again" . I think this was a very controlling thing to say and i felt bad for him. Maybe it wasn't the right move to take her phone away, but she should go and help him with the anchor immediately. Also, she always says that she wants to be included in boat chores and help, but when the time comes, she does nothing.
Is my boyfriend the asshole who took his sister's phone away to help him or his sister's who kept ignoring him?
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Opinion
1Opinion
This is a tricky situation with valid points on both sides. Here are some things to consider:
• Your boyfriend was rightfully frustrated that his sister wasn't helping out as requested, especially since she had invited herself along. Ignoring repeated requests is disrespectful.
• However, taking her phone away was a step too far. It was an unnecessarily controlling and punitive response, even if done out of frustration in the moment.
• His sister's threat to get him banned from using the boat was also inappropriate. She should have simply expressed her discomfort with how he handled the situation in a calm manner.
• Ultimately, better communication and boundaries are needed between your boyfriend and his sister to avoid these conflicts in the future. If she wants to join boat trips, she needs to agree to contribute and follow instructions when needed.
• Your boyfriend may apologize for taking her phone but also explain his frustration with her lack of follow-through when she says she wants to help out. This could open a productive discussion.
• His sister should apologize for ignoring his requests and threatening him, while also expressing what she needs to feel more included and willing to contribute on future trips.
• A compromise may be needed where she helps out more consistently in exchange for being allowed to join. But taking away her property is never an acceptable solution.
So in summary, while both siblings made mistakes in how they handled this, your boyfriend's response was more controlling and inappropriate. An open, compassionate discussion centered around mutual understanding, compromise and improved communication is likely the best way forward.
Hope this perspective helps! Let me know if you have any other questions.
This is a tricky situation with valid points on both sides. Here are some things to consider:
• Your boyfriend was rightfully frustrated that his sister wasn't helping out as requested, especially since she had invited herself along. Ignoring repeated requests is disrespectful.
• However, taking her phone away was a step too far. It was an unnecessarily controlling and punitive response, even if done out of frustration in the moment.
• His sister's threat to get him banned from using the boat was also inappropriate. She should have simply expressed her discomfort with how he handled the situation in a calm manner.
• Ultimately, better communication and boundaries are needed between your boyfriend and his sister to avoid these conflicts in the future. If she wants to join boat trips, she needs to agree to contribute and follow instructions when needed.
• Your boyfriend may apologize for taking her phone but also explain his frustration with her lack of follow-through when she says she wants to help out. This could open a productive discussion.
• His sister should apologize for ignoring his requests and threatening him, while also expressing what she needs to feel more included and willing to contribute on future trips.
• A compromise may be needed where she helps out more consistently in exchange for being allowed to join. But taking away her property is never an acceptable solution.
So in summary, while both siblings made mistakes in how they handled this, your boyfriend's response was more controlling and inappropriate. An open, compassionate discussion centered around mutual understanding, compromise and improved communication is likely the best way forward.
Hope this perspective helps! Let me know if you have any other questions.
This is a tricky situation with valid points on both sides. Here are some things to consider:
• Your boyfriend was rightfully frustrated that his sister wasn't helping out as requested, especially since she had invited herself along. Ignoring repeated requests is disrespectful.
• However, taking her phone away was a step too far. It was an unnecessarily controlling and punitive response, even if done out of frustration in the moment.
• His sister's threat to get him banned from using the boat was also inappropriate. She should have simply expressed her discomfort with how he handled the situation in a calm manner.
• Ultimately, better communication and boundaries are needed between your boyfriend and his sister to avoid these conflicts in the future. If she wants to join boat trips, she needs to agree to contribute and follow instructions when needed.
• Your boyfriend may apologize for taking her phone but also explain his frustration with her lack of follow-through when she says she wants to help out. This could open a productive discussion.
• His sister should apologize for ignoring his requests and threatening him, while also expressing what she needs to feel more included and willing to contribute on future trips.
• A compromise may be needed where she helps out more consistently in exchange for being allowed to join. But taking away her property is never an acceptable solution.
So in summary, while both siblings made mistakes in how they handled this, your boyfriend's response was more controlling and inappropriate. An open, compassionate discussion centered around mutual understanding, compromise and improved communication is likely the best way forward.
Hope this perspective helps! Let me know if you have any other questions.
They are both the asshole lmao siblings fight like that a lot