He said that crying was a major turn off? What should I do?

[Anonymous]

so there’s this guy that i’ve been seeing for a little bit now, and he’s been super kind, sweet and genuine with me. my dating history has been a bit rocky, and i went through a break up with my ex, so i wanted to give relationships a break. however, he’s been nothing but super sweet, patient and i felt as if this was going to be different.

with that being said, we were intimate with one another, and i ended up crying because he was nothing but caring, gentle and made me feel like a person. i felt a bit embarrassed by it because i’ve never cried EVER in front of someone after something like that. he made me feel validated, and it felt as if he wasn’t going to judge me or think of me differently. however, i recently found out that he said that it was a major turn off when i cried, and i feel hurt and it’s like a slap in the face.

i’m planning to speak to him about it and tell him how i feel because it was an intimate moment between us and he didn’t give me that impression once it happened, he also hasn’t acted any differently towards me ever since. however, i need to know if how i feel is valid or i’m just overreacting? or how would you react in this case if the person you were seeing said that?

[Anonymous]

Good question and awful responses. Fucking feminists piss me the fuck off with their fucking "break up with him..." shit. Fuck them. They hate men, they're female incels, and they're so jealous that you have a caring guy they tell you to break up with any excuse they have.

That's the only explanation I have, other than they're fucking ignorant and they type in sleep. I've heard of sleep walking, maybe they're on G@G the same way typing shit.. no. They're just ignorant feminist idiots. And some male opinions are also dumb.

Ok now to the answer, it isn't complicated. He was sexually turned off, but probably more emotionally attached than before. Have you not heard of the scientific studies where men exposed to women's tears had their testosterone plummet? I felt it myself too, it's like an estrogen injection, when exposed to other women's tears I immediately run to administer anti estrogens and do intense exercise. And it would be weird to have a hard-on from seeing you cry, biology does not allow it. ﾠ

[DaveJord]

Wait, wait... let me get this straight... here is this guy that been nothing but great to you... so you have sex, and you cry? Yeah... I mean that not cool. But honestly, I have dated woman, where everything is going great, and we have sex and the chemistry is all wrong.

So, honestly if you cried Infront of him after sex... that means the chemistry is all wrong. He might have made it seem like he was not judging you and maybe he wasn't. But honestly ask yourself this question, do you really think he understands why a woman would cry after sex, and how that would make him feel good about it?

Obviously, there is something more to this, and you really need to understand why you felt that way before you talk to him. I mean is it really something he did, or is there more there beneath the surface? You really need to think about that before you talk to him. Because bottom line for 90% of men who are not complete sickos and creeps... crying after sex is huge turn off.

So, the fact that you cried tells me there is more to it, and you need to understand that, because it's safe to assume that he was not turned on by it or felt good about it in any way. And honestly any expectation that he would or should understand it or be okay with it... is reach at best.

[EmyyWolf]

IT IS A TURN OFF.

At first I was gonna say, yes he’s an ahole.

But now thinking about it. When men are horny it’s like when your clit is being rubbed. When you play with your clit. So him watching you cry. Is like.
”DID I DO SOMETHING TO UPSET YOU?”

How is his dick gonna be hard, when you’re there sobbing and weeping, and bawling your eyes out?

WTF. 🤨

You should’ve told him that you’re “happy crying”

[A_Bell]

Imagine a giant balloon, over-stuffed with air. Now image you crying and your hands releasing the valve and it sputters away making that "pltpltplt" sound. That's the thought it brings to me.

Pro-tip: don't cry during sex. Also, don't: blow your nose, floss, talk to your mom, vomit, eat, or change a diaper. (Unless it's his and you're into infant play.)

[BoopBoopBeep]

Sorry. You sound exhausting. I'm not going to validate your feelings. That's between you and your shrink, which I'm not paid to do. You have your feelings, I have mine, and I don't need to check in with you to have my feelings or take a poll with my friends to have them validate them. If I'm being irrational I'd like to know, not just have an echo chamber of "my feelings are perfect however they are." 99% of men aren't going to be thrilled when you cry during/after sex. Kind of a buzzkill. That other 1% is out there if it IS something you're not going to be able to overcome. You deserve to find someone from that 1%.

[CurrentJohn]

So you cried while you had sex, that is what you mean? Not cry while you were just talking and you opened your heart to him? I mean it is kind of awkward if your partner suddenly bursts out in tears and starts crying during that kind of intimacy and I`m not trying to call you out for that or talk bad about you, just trying to see it from his perspective. He was probably just shocked and perplexed that you reacted in that way at that moment. That doesn`t mean that he doesn`t care about you if he otherwise listens to you and comforts you when you talk with him.

[Anonymous]

Okay, this is kinda weird.
There have been times with some girls, where they would cry before sex, after sex, or we are meeting for sex and she remembers something sad and gets emotional, That is a turn off for intimate situations for sure. I wouldn't try to F*k a girl when she's visibly upset. At that point we have to tend to her and make sure she is okay.

I wouldn't have told her that it's a major turn off, takes maturity to shoulder the women's emotions and put those ahead of ours, that's what being a man is.

Telling a women that crying is a turn off sounds the same as telling her she has cooties, grow up!

[sheikalana]

I think you're thinking too much. I never cry in front of my husband unless something's really upsetting me. I don't want him to see me crying over stupid silly things. If someone suddenly started crying while we're just talking I would also feel super weird about it no one likes a cry baby. Talk to him tho if that's bothering you and stop crying.

[ProbablyClueless]

Start by figuring out why it is that you started crying after sex, because that is a turn off for most men.

Second, figure out if he actually told people that he was turned off. I've noticed that people love saying shit like that to sabotage other people's relationships.

[aquamarine321]

It’s okay to cry, some men find it cute, and we’ll love to help, but in men’s mind if you’re crying everyday, every minute it can be annoying and frustrating and it seems as if you’re unstable and be a turn off especially when you’re not sharing what the issue is

[cherrymom21]

There is an actual pheromone released when women cry that will lessen a man's sex drive. The fact that he can recognize that and voice that opinion doesn't necessarily mean he's less attractive to you other than in that moment but at the same time he needs to be supportive of your emotions

[lightbulb27]

Call him up crying. Just kidding...

Just tell him they were tears of joy. Ask him if he's every cried in positive way?

He is immature so needs educated about emotions and that you don't always cry.

[slatyb]

Your feelings are always valid. He told you how he felt. You need to discuss this. I've been with a woman who occasionally cried after climax. I was happy that the experience was so moving for her.

[inhua]

it's a turn-off either way

plenty of men getting dumped and cheated on after opening up their emotions. the reverse is very much possible

[provokeesmokee]

Break up. Crying is human and he sounds exhausting.

[Miah05]

Me, i would end things. He wants a emotionless robot

[FunkyMonkee]

Either stop crying or drop him for being an asshole.

[Anonymous]

Well there is going to be a moment of confusion, and wondering if he did something to upset you if you randomly start crying during sex. And yes, that would be a turn off.

[Grovermint]

It's rather poor taste. Everyone cries. Some more than others

[Wise4myage]

Tell him he’s an idiot and you will cry all you want.

[Anonymous]

That's rude of him

A hug and kiss on forehead is what's needed in such cases

[KrakenAttackin]

How did you find out it was a turnoff to him? I rather doubt it was.

[Agape93]

If he's turned off by emotion, then leave him

[Wonderingguyy]

That’s stupid of him and rude. Forget about him