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If so, why?
If not, why not?
I wonder if we get other priorities and overlook looks when we get older.
Looks are still important, but you become less insistent on freshly blossomed young flowers as you age.
As an adolescent, I was subscribed to Playboy magazine and thought the models were the epitome of female beauty.
I got into my first relationship when I was 16. My girlfriend was 14 but her body was fully developed. Later in high school and into my early 20s, my subsequent girlfriends were the same.
In my early 20s, a friend's dad was showing his Pantera at the Laguna Beach Concourse d'elegance car show. There were going to be Playboy playmates there. I couldn't wait to see them. When I did, I was surprised to find them a bit too filled out for my taste.
It wasn't until a few years later that I realized that they were what lush, mature women are supposed to look like. In my late 20s and into my 30s, I came to desire grown women as opposed to high school and college age girls.
The best girlfriend I ever had was 30 and I was 36 when we met. She was just a bit insecure about getting older and once said that you used to be able to bounce a quarter off of her ass. But I thought her ass was ideal. She probably thought her boobs weren't as taut as they were when she was 20. She had a bit of padding on her flat tummy. But her hair, face, legs, figure and her entire appearance were my idea of the feminine ideal. She looked and felt like a woman. She was adorable and I worshiped her.
I'll be 70 in January. My wife just celebrated her 67th birthday. (We met when I was 40 and she was 37, and we both looked really good.) Her full, good-sized boobs sag a bit; her ass has some dimples when she stands erect; she has a little bit of a tummy; there are some lines around her eyes; and some loose skin on her neck. I admit that I wouldn't find her attractive if she was obese, but she still has a cute face, nice figure, and a woman's body I adore her. And, face it, I'm not 40 anymore, either.
Would I have been attracted to a 30 year old when I was 18, or a 67 year old when I was 40? No.
In the end, I still think all women who have passed pubescence are lovely, but my appreciation broadened over the years.
I had a similar reflection recently while contemplating the type of dog to get. Currently, I have an energetic and sometimes unruly dog. As much as I adore him, he doesn't quite align with my hectic lifestyle, making it challenging at times. This made me prioritize temperament over looks when choosing a dog. I settled on a Bull-Mastiff. While they might not be conventionally attractive and are known for drooling, I'm certain it's the right fit for me. I needed a low-maintenance dog that could protect the home when needed. Similarly, when it comes to relationships, compatibility tends to overshadow physical attractiveness. As someone deeply engrossed in my pursuits, I value tranquility and understanding in a partner over mere appearance. I'm fortunate that my wife is not only stunning but also a peaceful, introverted individual who complements my nature. If I had to pick between a high-maintenance partner who's extremely attractive and an average-looking, easygoing individual, I'd opt for the latter. Admittedly, my perspective in my early twenties would have been different.
You still need the intital attraction. My current partner, I wouldn't have dated when I was younger. He's far from being ugly, he just wasn't my type.
I think a part of me, my younger self would think he's out of my league. He's an amazing person though, and that's what attracted me in the beginning
The importance of physical appearance is less to do with age than maturity. Beyond issues related to health of viability of genes for those wanting children, looks should only matter so much. If it is your principle driver, your values are immature and probably not ready for commitment.
Opinion
26Opinion
Looks are always important, but we become more realistic as we get older. Primarily, we value people who take care of themselves. That's not fancy hair, makeup, nails, clothing, etc. It's about not letting your body go to pot and staying mentally and physically healthy. When we get older, we don't need to prove anything, so simplicities tend to be more valuable than extremes. Yes, there are seniors who are making up for lost time and want to act like adolescents again, but you're more likely to do things with those types and prefer to go home with the ones who don't need the performance.
I will not say look never matter because they do. But your prospective on beauty does change over time. I mean at 47 I am with women I find very attractive and sexy, but when I was younger I naive and stupid about looks.
Now don't get me wrong, a butter face is always a butter face... but once things get deeper than that, things can change for you quick.
Women my age do seem to care a lot about looks.
Everyone ages sadly , I dont think its so much the looks , but I like to see personal care , going to the effort , this kind of thing , having respect for yourself , being as healthy as you can be , looks form a massive initial part and this is mainly due to reproduction , you can have the most stunning partner in the world , but after you've been there 100s of times , and seen them every morning , all the fawls ( tiny maybe , you see them ) , and maybe you have 2 kids , well sure all that does change a bit , but you have a different respect.
I would say looks are still important, but other things have been added to my criterias. If she has nothing of interesting to say, it would be really annoying to have a relationship with her for me. She needs to be pretty knowledgeable for me, something I can learn for our exchange because I have sapiosexual tendencies. Or it's just a monologue. I dislike bossy people. If my potential girlfriend/wife is bossy and oversteps my boundaries, well goodbye. I like to spend some of my time alone, so she shouldn't expect we spend all our free time together. Is she trusworthy? the state of mariage being what it is in the West nowadays, signing a a prenup is mandatory for me. I dislike people who think they're always the victim and aren't guilty of anything.
Looks are always going to be important but it's the same time the most important part is who that person is on the inside men have finally started figuring it out that that beautiful girl that they see standing there is beautiful but if that's all you're looking for you're going to be in for a great shock when she opens her mouth and she talks like a sailor or she's just evil you have to look to the inside and find out who a person is that's going to tell you if you're compatible and if she's everything that you want the outside is just all an extra bonus
Looks tend to matter less as a person ages & starts coping with their looks declining. But they're still very significant.
For instance, this guy is 30. He's not a virgin but his looks & height still prevent him from being taken seriously by a lot of women:
His personality needs some work too obviously but looks & build are the determining factors of physical attractiveness. So many women out there probably wouldn't mind tolerating his personality if he was attractive to them.
I think looks are always somewhat important. Obviously way less important than personality, but I think people generally care about looks less and less as they get older. Maybe this is because older people have more life experience and more concrete values and can appreciate someone who has lived through the same times as them in life. Also I think older people’s sexual feelings go down somewhat so this also may have something to do with it.
Everyone's different. Some people fixate on looks so much it hinders them from finding a good person. Obviously you can be good looking and wonderful but as you age you will change. That said beauty is different for everyone to begin with. As your looks and our looks fade you'll better hope there's more to the person otherwise you'll not be happy.
It really depends on the person. Now that I'm over 40 I see a lot of women DESPERATELY trying to hang on to thier youth. And it's very apparent in thier demeanor and actions. So clearly they think it still does. I do think I've gotten less picky. But to be honest I've also gotten less compelled to seek a relationship because if at over 40 If i still have stroke someone's ego all the time I'd rather be single. I feel most women just want validation not an actual relationship.
Attraction matters but it shouldn’t be someone’s main focus , when entering into a relationship with someone , you should love their heart as well , when you love someone’s heart and they show you the same love in return , that’s all that matters, there is always going to be someone more attractive then your partner and Someone more attractive then you But when you choose your partner the same way they choose you that’s how love grows
It will always be important.
Look at how important it is to you now - can you imagine it ever being less important?
Hopefully it becomes less important and we mature. If it doesn't, you need to question your maturity levels.
Looks are very important initially.. but once you love someone, even if their looks fade, they put on some weight it doesn't change how much I love them.. or at least for me it doesn't.. I don't know about everyone else.
I think priorities change from looks to more of whether he can take care of you well
And for men too, from "SEXY" thing to more of a kind loyal sweet girl
It still plays a role, but as looks go away it gets less and less important.
Less important.
For me it is more about their personality/inner beauty vs looks.
I've found out over time it is nice if I actually like the person I am with.
Turn the lights off at night and they all look the same.
Looks play a important role in feeling good about yourself. Not just for getting a partner.
When you've been with someone for years, you don't notice how they change too much unless it's something drastic.
In my opinion it still matters. Me and my husband are fully aware that we’re not going to always look young and beautiful but we always make the effort to look good around each other.
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