I’m (25f) dating this man who is 17 years older than me. On the first date he revealed to me he was 17 years older and had lied on his profile (meant to be 37). He also told me he was divorced with two children which he never told me before. I was a bit unsure about it but decided to continue getting to know him.
He mentioned on the first date that he had a business partner who was a makeup artist and who had 4 children. He then at a different point during the date told me that he is still friends with his most recent ex he who was 50 and a mother of 4. I didn’t think much of it at the time but later I was thinking about it and realised that both the business partner and ex were mothers of 4 and asked him if they wouldn’t happen to be the same person. All he said back to me was that we could talk about it in person basically confirming it all.
I’m really annoyed as I was genuinely interested in getting to know him regardless of him having an ex wife who’d be around for the kids. However, after finding out now he would have a second ex who he runs a business with hanging around I’m really unhappy as I feel like he has complicated things. I’m also worried that he’s the type of man that makes poor decisions as it wasn’t very wise for him to get with his business partner as you shouldn’t shit where you eat, and there was a risk it wouldn’t work out. He also goes on business trips with this woman to Dubai and Ibiza and was at her house after work having wine with her last week. If he didn’t have boundaries with her before I’m worried he won’t now and I’m now super confused as to whether I should continue with it.
I really did like him as he offered me support while dealing with pts but I dunno if I can trust him as he left it out even after I asked him to be honest after he lied the first time about his situation. Should I meet him and hear him out?
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The decision is yours. You say you liked him... will you continue to like him, knowing the baggage he has. We random G@G strangers may give you advice, but ultimately it's your life, and your decision.
Since you asked for an opinion/advice...
If I were in a situation like yours, I would continue to see where we might be going, and not give up... until and unless I have some hard evidence that it's not going to work.
Why do I say that? He has done some plus things... telling you about his situation, and about his real age... that's honesty. Sure, he may not have told you everything... yet... but he seems to be willing to do that.
I've seen stuff like this. Sometimes the guy is decent enough where he's very well off and somehow supports multiple families. From what I've seen, the kids end up all over the place in terms of success. The father is not exactly present but the kids don't usually seem to hold it against the dad the way most kids who see so little of a parent usually do.
And the wives are usually just happy to have been taken care of and they can raise the kids they love so much.
I'm sure what I've seen is the best case scenario for the most part, everyone seemed happy. It's just a different lifestyle I guess. You just gotta know what you want out of life because it's a very big decision. Your first test is gonna be all the people on here telling you this and that because they dont like it.
Sorry just to clarify the ex who’s 50 and a mother of 4 is divorced herself. Her kids don’t belong to him, it’s just the 2 with the ex wife he has. But what I’m unsure about is how he could be so unwise to get involved romantically with his business partner knowing that if it didn’t work out that he’s adding another ex that a future partner will have to be around so no it’s his ex wife and business partner I’ll have to tolerate. I completely get the ex wife because he got married and it didn’t work out, shit happens and now for the sake of the kids they need to get on to coparent. But the business partner is just his bad judgment in my opinion to get involved with someone who he works with and owns a product with is bad on his part. I guess it’s the saying don’t shit where you eat. By doing that he’s made things messy and now I’d I do date him I’ll have to be okay with him essentially going on business trips which seems more like holidays with his ex.
No.
Not even worth reading anything besides the title, no explaination makes an ex hanging around worth it.