So many guys like me but I'm not into any of them?

[SexyBrunetteNY]

It's sooo frustrating! Because when I really like a guy and am attracted to him, it's perfect. There's nothing I won't do for him, and I can have the biggest heart and make his world feel like Heaven. I felt that way for someone but let it go when I found out he was married - so that didn't go far at all, of course.

Now that I'm looking around at my options, some of them are very cool but there's no chemistry. So why bother when all I'd be doing is depriving any of these men of what they deserve from me just because I don't have the right feelings for them?

By the way, I hope that men realize that being rejected by a woman IS a blessing a disguise - you won't be wasting your efforts on someone who can't/won't give you 100%.

Meanwhile, sigh. I feel like it'll take forever for me to meet someone I'm crazy about again :(

[artgorgeous]

Find someone who is around 50. And single. And don't expect chemistry, you're not that young for that.

[SexyBrunetteNY]

Hahaha! Cute!!

[Sunnybeach123]

What do you look for in a man that you're not finding?

[SexyBrunetteNY]

GREAT question! Well, intelligence is really important. I'm creative and work in a very creative field so obviously that's always a bonus when a man has a similar mind. My attraction usually starts there, not how someone looks entirely - but I like a little mystery in a man. Truth be told, yes, we all like attention but the ones who overdo it alienate me. So, I suppose I like it when a man isn't rushing or banging me over the head. At the beginning, less is more for me. Show me interest, yes, but take it slow.

Silly as it sounds, a man's voice matters a lot to me, too, lol.

It's really hard to articulate so thanks for asking, it helps me sit here and actually think about it.

[Sunnybeach123]

I agree with how you feel. Smart people are a real turn on for me too, and someone who's smart and confident is very attractive. I like those who are subtle, because I think super direct lacks mystery and is pretty boring.

[SexyBrunetteNY]

Yes, agree. You can show me your interest without being over the top, and mind you, I also won't full force go after someone, I'll find ways to show interest low key but consistent, lol. I mean, everyone knows the quieter ones are the real animals in bed, hehe ;)

[Sunnybeach123]

Haha you're totally right. I think relatively quiet people think a lot have deep thoughts and have very powerful emotions/ sexual fantasies. I'm relatively introverted and it's certainly true for me 😊

[SexyBrunetteNY]

Absolutely. I form very deep connections, very all or nothing in this arena. I wish I could be like those women or guys who have someone news every 5 months or something. Sad but true, guess I can't change.

[Sunnybeach123]

You just want a real connection, like a deep relationship. Honestly that's pretty hard to find. It can take a while. You shouldn't be too hard on yourself.

[SexyBrunetteNY]

You're right. I guess I'm just disappointed about the other guy and how that had to be put aside and I know it'll be a while before it strikes again. But it is what it is. I have to accept that.

[Sunnybeach123]

What went wrong?

[SexyBrunetteNY]

We know each other through working on certain projects together in the past. Although remotely, we'd sometimes talk on the phone, email, etc., and well recently, somehow we 'noticed' each other and on social media we were just very connected daily and while it was happening, I looked more closely and realized that he was married. Not good. Anyway, apparently, his wife was away (were they having issues?) well now she's back but regardless, just not a smart idea to pursue a married person. But I just felt so crazy about him. Really liked him.

[Sunnybeach123]

I'm sorry. Very uncool that he lied to you. Sounds like you were close. Was it a long distance relationship, then? I've had those too.

[SexyBrunetteNY]

No he didn't lie to me and all that was going on was he was showing interest in me online, and then I started liking him. But then soon after, I realized he had a wife and so in spite of him showing interest I was just quiet about it. I didn't block him or anything, we still looking at each other's posts and stories religiously lol but he was also cautious. Overall, it's a small world and I suppose that it's best not too much was openly stated because who needs rumors like that and we have lots of work ties and are connecting to many of the same people.

[Sunnybeach123]

That makes sense. Maybe he was worried too that word would get back to his wife that he was being unfaithful. How far did things go? Were you both intimate? That would have made things more of a strain, I imagine, if so.

[SexyBrunetteNY]

No not intimate but trust me, had we been, there's no way I could have stayed away lol better off nothing happened.

[Sunnybeach123]

Haha I totally get that. Same here. Once I make myself vulnerable to someone it's so hard for me to move on. I honestly get a little obsessive at that point.

[SexyBrunetteNY]

Yes, agree. It is hard so last night, I decided to delete my IG only from my phone, so I can stop watching him and start focusing more on other stuff and not care if he's keeping tabs on me still lol

[Sunnybeach123]

Thanks for the MHO. And yeah, I get it. It can be really hard to move on.

[SexyBrunetteNY]

Thank you so much!!

[Sunnybeach123]

You're very welcome. I've been there and I know how it feels