Why would a man message me every time he passes by my city?

[Anonymous]

I met this amerixan businessman and philanthropist based in Beijing when I had a trip to Beijing in January 2023.

He has been messaging me since then, we messaged each other daily for a month, I messaged him back because I liked the fact that he was so kind always helping people,

he wanted us to date, and wanted to come to my city, I lived in Suzhou back then.

I was not very into this, because first, I wasn’t ready at that time,

second, I was thinking it was impossible to date someone who lived in a different city so far from you, I already had a very unfulfilling LDR experience and naturally didn’t want to have my heart broken again.

third, I was assuming maybe he hoped for sex, why else would man want to travel cities to meet a girl? I made it a point to let him know I am a bit old-fashioned and I gave him some hints he couldn’t expect it.

He still wanted to meet, but I didn’t feel like it.

We stopped messaging after a while.

But every-time he traveled and was near Suzhou he messaged me if I could meet him

and now he is in Shanghai, I also live in Shanghai and he messaged me if I’d like to meet him,

I wonder why does he want to meet me, he must know by now, I won’t have sex with him.

I don’t want to meet him. Because he only messages me when he is in my city. Why would I want to meet him?

Updates

7 mo

I told him I can’t meet, I have a flu.

Updates

7 mo

In truth I already recovered l, I just don’t want to meet.

[Anonymous]

You don't sound that intelligent, to be extremely blunt.

I mean you do more assuming than anything and have really made an ass of yourself.

You say that you can't think of any reason why a man would travel except for sex. There is plenty of reasons why a man would travel that don't involve sex. Business for example or do you lack the basic intelligence to comprehend he is a businessman?

He may have actually wanted a real relationship but obviously your mind is too simple to comprehend anything outside the bedroom. Or act like a respectable human being and simply TALK to him. You have a brain and you have fingers - as dumb as your post reveals you as - and said that you used to routinely text the guy. Too dullwitted to ASK?

[Asker]

Relax,

You must have forgotten taking your medicine today

[Opinion Owner]

I am relaxed. I just find your post incredibly stupid. Like 2 digit IQ level stupid.

[Asker]

Cool. You can find it as stupid as you wish. If I worried, I’d not post.

[Opinion Owner]

You too stupid to realize your post is stupid.

[Asker]

Now If I was really stupid I’d get offended of your pathetic attempts. Thankfully, I am not haha

[Opinion Owner]

But you are, why else respond? You're just too stupid to realize it.

I mean you actually think a post outlining that you're too stupid to ask a guy you've been texting routinely what does he want & who you stop communicating with like a 5 year old child and not a grown adult gets proves your 2 digit IQ level.

[Asker]

We generally use the same epithets that we’ve heard a lot growing up,

Your words say more about you than me, that’s why I am responding. Thus little exchange doesn’t phase me a bit, I am pretty secure in my intelligence and if someone ever will think I am stupid, that will make me feel cool for playing a good game.

Anyways, back to you. Every word you say is addressed to yourself, that’s the self hatred, that’s where the will of hurting someone comes from, and I just honestly want to tell you

Whatever you’ve been told in your childhood, is not true. You are not stupid and your IQ is most likely higher than 2 digs,

So… Be kinder to yourself.

First step is acceptance, once you can accept yourself, you can accept the whole world.

Good luck.

I feel like I must have told you what I truly read behind your lines.

[Opinion Owner]

Still responding - dumbass.

[Opinion Owner]

" I am pretty secure in my intelligence and if someone ever will think I am stupid, that will make me feel cool for playing a good game."

An idiot is an idiot is an idiot. Just because you are secure in your intelligence doesn't mean you're actually intelligent. Your post proves you are NOT intelligent.

[Asker]

Whatever. I tried helping you.

[Opinion Owner]

I don't need help from an idiot thanks.

I mean did you read what you wrote? The degree of stupidity in your post is appalling. Let me summarize it simply so even a dullwit like you can understand.

You met this guy
Started communicating with guy
Made assumptions - did you know the first letters of assume makes an ass of u.
Instead of clarifying what he wants
You stop responding like a 5 year old

You're not smart. You're actually an idiot.

Anyone who is legitimate smart would've asked the guy - what do you want.
Anyone who is legitimate smart would've said - I'm not interested in sex or a relationship

Instead you act like a low class poorly raised moronic idiot

[Paris13]

He may have Enjoyed your Company and Finding you a Challenge and a Chase, He may have Thought you'd Give in to More behind the Door. You seem to have decided. xxoo

[Paris13]

Thanks to Gag. xxoo

[Guido]

Maybe he just enjoys your company and beauty. He is alone when he travels and wants the company.

He could also be hoping that you will come around to dating if you spend enough time with him.

There is no way to know for sure if he has a hidden agenda. It's totally up to you if you want to meet him and see where it goes.

Now being a guy, if I was single, I would probably be hoping for something more down the road as I suspect most guys would if they admit their true intentions. There are also married men that pretend they are single when they travel.

Safe is do not meet him.

Adventurous is taking a chance.

[AviatorTom]

Your post never says you told him you weren't interested in meeting ir saying, only that you stopped messaging, and this was after daily messages. It makes sense that he might think you are still interested, especially since you are now in the same city.

This sounds like a classic case of girl dropping hints and guy not getting them, then girl can't understand why he didn't get the hint. In this case, the hint is that you stopped messaging. Remember that we guys are simple creatures... we rarely get hints. If you don't want to see it date him, tell him that, as bluntly yet as kindly as you can.

[caring__1]

It's not uncommon for someone who travels for a living to want a taste of home wherever they happen to be. This relates to the "girl in every port" approach. Though they know it isn't something they want to maintain beyond the visit, they appreciate the comfort and familiarity when they happen to be in town. It also gives them the opportunity to safely explore the extremes of their desires that might jeopardize their primary relationship, if explored there. They believe they have nothing to lose, so everything becomes a possibility.

[spartan55]

You could hint or tell him a 100 times, doesn't mean he will stop trying.

[Asker]

I am not meeting him.

[Asker]

Taking break from men.

[spartan55]

Okay we get that, but you asked why he messages you...🙄

[ProbablyClueless]

He might just genuinely like interacting with you as a person. As hard as it is to believe sometimes; there are people out there who genuinely don't want anything.

I'll admit, that kind of man is rare. We do exist though.

[sheikalana]

He's checking if your available or interested in meeting him.

[Wowcraft44]

It sounds like he’s just looking for some attention

[Christoff92]

Saying politely how's it going.

[Anonymous]

Use you to get off probably.

[Asker]

But I haven’t said anything even slightly sexual to him…

[Asker]

I would still not meet him even if I didn’t have a flu.

[zagor]

Are you having any sex in China?

[Asker]

What kind of question is that and why am I supposed to talk with you about my sex life?

[zagor]

Just wondering how it is for foreigners in China. I didn't really meet any girls other than tour guides (thought about trying to hook up with a couple of them, but didn't want to be That Guy), though I was approached several times by scammers in Shanghai.

[KrakenAttackin]

TL;DR. He wants to bang you.

[Iron_Man]

He likes you