I went through a bunch of bad stuff the recent years that left me quite scarred and I am slowly but surely getting back on track. But every time someone seems to get closer to me or interested, my immediate response is to push them away because I'm not worth the time they invest. I always think I'm wasting their time because they won't get from me what they are probably looking for. Sexual intimacy is triggering and still difficult, so why would someone want me, you know? I also always feel very detached emotionally, and I'm afraid I will let them down somehow or that they will drop me because they'll know how fucked up I am in those departments.
Since I went through all of this, I am a very patient person and would try to help if my partner had a hard time. But it's very tough to imagine it the other way around. I just feel like there's no hope at this point and don't know what to do.
