Why are women today so bothered by men ghosting on them after being friendzoned? You're not entitled to friendship?

[ronaldo75]

First off, the "friendzone" is really the "simp, thirst and validation" zone. It's a place to warehouse a lot of men on different apps for some quick easy attention on tap and reserve especially when the guy you want doesn't give you attention.

That said, what is this new victim shit where guy meets girl, girl friendzones guy - dude disappears and then the girl comes online to whine about how "men think they're entitled to sex" and "men only fake friendships for sex"

um no... you're not entitled to cheap easy fast validation.

[OlderAndWiser]

This entire conversation needs to be divided into two parts:

I. Guy who is new to you and there is no established friendship. He asks for a date which clearly (to me) indicates romantic interest. If his amorous desires are rejected and she wants to friend zone him, he has no obligation to hang out waiting for morsels from her and he is right to move forward, no looking back.

II. Guy with whom you have an established friendship. Much different scenario. At least 90% of the time, I think guys hear "but I don't want to take a chance on ruining our friendship" and it blows to hear those words. It is a rejection that hurts as much as any other rejection. She is probably not going to be able to keep the guy as a friend anyway, and she probably realizes this, so I think "but I don't want to take a chance on ruining our friendship" usually means "I'm not attracted to you and don't want to be honest about it."

If the guy "ghosts" the girl (not really ghosting because she knows why it happened and where he is,) it DOESN'T mean that he didn't value her friendship. It means that the only way for him to handle the rejection is to not see the girl again.

For guys, the lesson from all of this is that, if you meet a girl and you want to pursue her for dating, make your intentions known immediately. Don't spend months getting to know her because you will get friend zoned. If you meet her and learn she is not available now, don't spend any time on her at all, because you will either get friend zoned or you will be the short-lived rebound. Come back when she is actually available.

[VIVANT]

The problem here is a lot of people actually prefer friendship first. It’s not everyone so you don’t really know in advance what will be best for that scenario.

Sone people aren’t interested in dating right away but they “are interested”, so trying to move to dating immediately will cause a false rejection.

Whereas others, if you don’t make a move fast they assume “not interested” and move on.

I do support people moving quickly if that’s what they genuinely want.

But I wouldn’t avoid taking time to get to know someone for fear of friendship bebc for a lot of people if they like you romantically they want tone to get to know you without pressure.

I’m j not saying it’s good or bad. Just that different people approach romance differently.

I’ve never friend zoned someone for going too slow but I’ve definitely ducked out of situations where I really was into the person but I didn’t know them well enough for jumping into a relationship.

[OlderAndWiser]

@VIVANT I think that the women who want to develop a friendship first, and who won't friendzone a guy, are a minority. Since a guy doesn't know, he will just assume that it's a situation where he's gonna get friendzoned. That means that if the woman really wants the friendship first and them more, she needs to let a guy know that or he will make an incorrect assumption.

[Anonymous]

noun: friendzone
a situation in which a friendship exists between two people, one of whom has an unreciprocated romantic or sexual interest in the other.
"I always wind up in the friend zone, watching them pursue other guys"

verb
verb: friendzone
come to regard (someone) solely as a friend, despite their unreciprocated romantic or sexual interest.

"girls always shoot me down and friend-zone me"

[crystalline0909]

Women are bothered about ending up in a situation ship. That is the only time men feel entitled to get sex out of a woman and easily ghost her after getting what they want. Here man goes in and out of the situation as per his convenience. They act single, ghost whenever they want while entertaining other options during that time. They rotate there options weekly or monthly based on how many options they have.
Here a women doesn't want to get stuck in that look of situation ship with no conclusion or result and feels used every time the guy ghosts her.

[ronaldo75]

Deflection won't work with me. Answer the question directly, please. Thank you.

[crystalline0909]

I assumed you to be smarter. What i explained is exactly what you have mentioned in your first paragraph. Only in my opinion are men doing it. In fact both men and women do it. No gender is innocent.

But the answer to your second paragraph is why I explained my opinion.
Women want men to prove their integrity. They want the man to be consistent. But guys assume themselves being friendzoned or perhaps they are impatient, they move on to explore other options where on the other side girls find themselves ghosted. For the reason being, if a girl would have expressed quicker and would have gotten physical the guy probably would have been around still communicating.
Girls want the relationship to develop on a mental and emotional level before giving in physically. When that doesn't happen girls complain.
Though in the situation ship people lead it on on-purpose. Therefore people project those experiences on their future encounters because they haven't healed completely from the last one. Hence they need reassurance and acknowledgement.
But people men or women lack patience in this generation and move on too quickly if things don't move to bed sooner.
Do you have any confusion now?

[AnusNdaPainus]

You’re adding unnecessary details and not addressing the question clearly first and foremost

Everything else you say is irrelevant until you give a straight forward answer

[crystalline0909]

Ask a straight forward question then

[AnusNdaPainus]

It is straight forward
You just need better comprehension skills

[crystalline0909]

You need better understanding. It's so clear. Women test the man by making them wait inorder to be reassured. When the guy losses patience and leaves girls blame

[AnusNdaPainus]

Again deflecting doesn’t work answer the question

[crystalline0909]

You really are a pain in the ass... like your user name. Fat head

[AnusNdaPainus]

First off , you aren’t a politician so stop answering questions like one lol
Second, it’s very fat 🍆😉

[ronaldo75]

"Women are bothered about ending up in a situation ship. That is the only time men feel entitled to get sex out of a woman and easily ghost her after getting what they want. " - MASSIVE Generalization when I've never mentioned sex in my original post.

"Women want men to prove their integrity. They want the man to be consistent. But guys assume themselves being friendzoned or perhaps they are impatient, they move on to explore other options where on the other side girls find themselves ghosted. " - Irrelevant to the original post and the question being asked.

"Girls want the relationship to develop on a mental and emotional level before giving in physically. When that doesn't happen girls complain.
Though in the situation ship people lead it on on-purpose. Therefore people project those experiences on their future encounters because they haven't healed completely from the last one. Hence they need reassurance and acknowledgement." - More babble and generalizations that have nothing to do with the original question.

I'm smarter than you think, not less. Try again.

[ronaldo75]

@AnusNdaPainus She's projecting like crazy. She's the exact type of women men are running from like the PLAGUE these days.

[AnusNdaPainus]

It’s only the women who offer nothing but sex who expect everything from you upfront because they don’t know how else to please a man and I blame people who teach their daughters that men just want them for sex

I’ve heard this question asked to women a million times “ What do you bring to the table “ this question lifts the veil and forces them to deal with the reality that they can’t keep or get the men they want because they don’t know what men want

[crystalline0909]

Only an incomplete man could ask that question. Real men know that a woman can give you a brand new human, she can extend his bloodline, raise a new version of you. And in return if a man has to provide for the mother of her children, they say what did you bring to the table?
If you want the woman to bring anything materialistic on the table similar to what men bring, maybe there is no need of a patriarchal society. Let your kids carry forward your mother's last name.

[AnusNdaPainus]

Thank you for proving my point

See how she jumped straight into “Kids” what real man is having kids with a woman who offers nothing but sex?

A vagina and womb comes standard on every model

“What do you bring to the table?” And women start naming shit that literally ANY woman can do because they don’t know what men want or how to be a wife.

[crystalline0909]

Not every woman can raise a kid. They can birth them but cannot raise them perfectly. That's why a woman brings values to the table, learnings skills that will be inherited by your child.

[AnusNdaPainus]

Smh. She still isn’t getting it
Men don’t need women to raise their children
Kids are better off when they’re just raised by the Dad

But that doesn’t matter because “What do you bring to the table” is about what you offer as a wife not a mother

We don’t need women to raise our kids women can’t raise their own 90% of runaways come from single mother homes

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Friend-zone can be avoided pretty easily, just respond her straightforwardly,

“You do realize that you and I will never be just friends? 😜”

Most girls find direct, straightforward guys very sexy.

And she’ll have thus new image of her in a mind, she will actually want you more.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

*new image of him in her mind

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I once friend-zoned my ex early on and he was like

“ No miss, that’s not how it works with me. I can’t be just your friend when I have an erection on every date of ours. I want you to be my girl, my girlfriend, and mother of my children someday. I love you.”

He didn’t just give up on me just because I was scared of romantic relationship, he set his boundaries and told me what he wanted from me and what he wouldn’t accept from me. That’s the sexiest thing a man can do.

[ronaldo75]

"Most girls find direct, straightforward guys very sexy." - Suuuuuuuuure ok.

[ronaldo75]

Your ex was simp. I dont chase. Ever. Most solid men refuse to chase especially now.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

My ex was only man who I ever loved and I don’t care what you think, keep calling men who put effort in relationships “simp” and you’ll end up single forever.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I think, you guys, in the west totally went crazy.

[ronaldo75]

I'm almost never single. In the past 10 years I've been single about 6 months. You live in the 3rd world?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I live in Shanghai

[msc545]

The women here in the West ARE nuts.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

@msc545 There’s never a fault in only one party.

[msc545]

True but crazy Never distributes evenly.

[grega239]

Well this doesn't seem to work for me.
I stopped talking to women entirely and have yet to get a text or whatever from any of them

[msc545]

@grega239 you are fortunate!

[coachTanthony]

Are they? That would be seriously entitled if they think that. If a woman isn't interested then she's not interested. Men put themselves in that stupid friend zone in hopes of someday the woman seeing them differently lol

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

It's not that they're "entitled" to friendship, it's more that they can't believe they were so easily pushed aside after refusing to go into a romantic sexual relationship. It's hard when you realize you were nothing but the objective goal rather than being seen as a person, as they saw the man they were talking to as a person and a friend they felt they could trust.

[ronaldo75]

So if a man approaches you by flirting and trying to impress you, you keep him around as a "friend", you really think he's going to stick around? That sounds incredibly naive.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

I'm talking from the perspective of not seeing it as flirting, men approaching as friends to get to know me as a friend, and then to ask me out months and months later when I've securely seen them as only a friend and finding out that everything you thought was a good, platonic relationship was just something he did in the hopes of getting the chance to get in my pants and then abandon me. I'm not entitled to anything after that, but I'm definitely allowed to feel sad and miss the person I thought was my friend.

[ronaldo75]

There's no such thing as a man approaching you "as a friend". Let's stop that. Any "friend" who's taking you out on dates over and over is a guy you're using for attention and you're a girl he's "working" until he think he's got you in the right moment. You know this better than I do, you're a woman.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Not all men see women as goals or objects as you do, there are better people than you out there that don't do that. You know that, you're smart enough.

[ronaldo75]

I never said all men see women as goals or objects, nor did I say that I personally do that. But you keep that cope going, i'm sure it's served you well. And I'm sure your husband is fine with you haveing 20 simps across 4 apps that are "your friends"

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

I don't have a husband, being asexual makes you undesirable as a potential wife for a hetero husband. And if you genuinely believe men only interact with women for sex then you either think of women only in terms of sex, or you think of men only in terms of sex. Either way, neither describes my relationship to any of my male friends, who know very well I am completely unattracted to them from very early on.

[ronaldo75]

Answer again but this time dont put any words in my mouth. Please. Ok try again.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

"Any "friend" who's taking you out on dates over and over is a guy you're using for attention and you're a girl he's "working" until he think he's got you in the right moment" I'm not putting shit in your mouth.

[ronaldo75]

And I mentioned that this "moment" is sex where? Please quote where I said that.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

If it wasn't sex, then what was it? A relationship with sex?

[ronaldo75]

I dont have the burden of proof. YOU insinuated "the moment" meant sex. So quote where I mention sex. I'm waiting.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Seriously? I ask you to expand on it because I clearly don't have the proof and you're just sitting there waiting for me to admit it? This has got to be the most petulant way to disagree with someone I've ever seen. Why do I even bother with you

[ronaldo75]

You bother with me because I clearly struck a nerve. Petulant? What are you Tim pool?

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

You did, and you made me regret it. Honestly, I get so caught up in this stuff online that I forget how none of it matters, how we’re both just bored and looking for stimulation wherever we can find it that it doesn’t matter if it makes us mad over a bunch of text on a screen where no side wins because no side is playing the same game. I needed that reminder, thank you for giving me a breather, it helped clear my head.

[ronaldo75]

If I flirt with you and give you my number, I take you out to dinner and you text me back "you're such a great friend!!!" . I'm supposed to keep being your friend? Are you for real? 100% of women who do this shit are collecting a list of simps for easy attention and validation on tap. Deny it all you want. It's a pathetic culture and honestly a bit unethical.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

You make great points

[Giddyup]

Dude, what is your deal, why do you need such validation to be an asshole. We'll gladly give it to you!

[grega239]

Why would a man who wants a relationship hang around the person who doesn't?

Nothing but an objective goal?
Yes. The objective being a relationship.

And as for your "not beingbseen as a person" bs.
Are you taking offence at being seen as a person who a man sees as a life long partner?

[ronaldo75]

@Giddyup What?

[Effably]

Isn't this the same issue both ways? People feel slighted because the other one was not upfront about what they wanted to get out of it.

Girl thought boy wanted to be friends. Upset because that was not true.

Boy thought girl wanted to be partners. Upset because that was not true.

Both are easily avoided by making it clear early on what role the other person is there for.

[ronaldo75]

It is the same way both ways, however the difference is I dont see society shaming women for ghosting on guys they weren't attracted to for trying to fuck them.

[Effably]

I suppose. Online I'd agree but personally I have never had woman be upset if I cut it off after realizing we want different things.

I really do believe the issue is in leading people on. That too, of course, goes both ways.

[Anemone978]

Are you saying no guy just wants to be your friend? I had many friends not interested in my sexually.. they would tell me about the girls they fucked and we would make fun of them together.. we would talk about girls they actually liked and were dating.. it was good friendships.. As for online stuff who cares if they leave if you don't validate them, its only online anyways..

[ronaldo75]

You have atrocious reading comprehension.

[Anemone978]

My reading isn't bad just the question is boring.. if you became fake friends with someone and they ghost you.. you are not actual friends.. the guy just wanted to fuck you.. that is pretty much all guys online.. who is actually complaining about being ghosted by fake guy friends? No one.. the only people who complain about getting ghosted are girls who sleep with guys and then the guy stops texting them or blocks them..

[ronaldo75]

So the measure of whether a question is boring or exciting can dictate how off the mark your response is? Also, that's not how you approached your first comment. Are you low IQ or just emotional right now?

[Anemone978]

I am not emotional.. so I guess I am low IQ.. especially since I am on this dumbass site..

[ronaldo75]

At least you're self-aware :). That's a positive.

[havingfun2023]

Simp, thirst. I think when I'm 30 next year, im too old to keep up with the slang or the lingo lol 😂😆 of today's generation of 20s. Ah well. To answer the question, I'm unsure. I'm more bothered by why nobody ever is just honest and politely direct about their feelings e. g. if neither person wants to ask someone on a date first, what a weird world that is, for example 🥴🥴😐😑😐😶

[DextroShade]

Women will literally have friend-zoned simps in their phone named after what bills they pay for them, like "Electric", "Phone", "Car", etc. Its good to see more men waking up and not being used by these entitled thots. If men are not entitled to sex from women then women are not entitled to money and attention from men.

[VIVANT]

If she thought they were friends , it’s understandable she’d be upset

Guys get bothered too when they like a friend then she ghosts him after he tells her

I've never “ kept Guy around for stuff”

no one is entitled to anything but if someone you thought was a friend disappears after you say you didn’t want sex, it really sucks.

That’s not entitlement, that is just normal human feeling disappointed. It’s how you feel when you’re not a sociopath.

[Anonymous]

They are only bothered when the men pretended to be their friend. When a friend drops you after you reject romantic or sexual advances it feels a little sad, because you feel like they were never truly your friend to begin with. They are disapointed and they don't like how often it happens but they get over it lol don't worry. They aren't as bothered as the men who complain about it are.

[sheikalana]

A lot of women don't understand that men are not interested in being friends with them. Men do not approach attractive women with hopes of just being friends with them so if two do not want the same there's absolutely no reason to stay in touch. Simple as that.

[VIVANT]

Plenty of men and women have real friendships & the other thing is not all attractive people realize they are attractive.

[sheikalana]

@VIVANT men and women can only be friends if they're not attracted to each other. But women need to understand that men do not approach them just because they want to be just friends with them.

[Anonymous]

why are people not entitled to friendship just because we don't want to be in a relationship with them? lmao get off your high horse, dude.

YOU are not ENTITLED to anything or anyone. i can tell why you keep getting put in the friendzone.

[ronaldo75]

"why are people not entitled to friendship just because we don't want to be in a relationship with them?" - The lack of self-awareness here is delicious. I'm on the high horse? I literally said neither men nor women are entitled to anything. Explain how that's a high horse? Just say you like keeping validation and simping on tap.

[Opinion Owner]

lmao

[Opinion Owner]

stop being delusional, bro.

[ronaldo75]

But you still haven't answered... see how interesting that is?

[KrakenAttackin]

Because simps are critical to women getting free meals, easy validation, endless. use of an emotional tampon, a little bitch errand boy, and even a guy to do her work at the office.

Women groom guys for the simp zone by playing hot/cold, and working the guy like a puppet master. It takes these simos years to realize they will never, ever, get to go balls deep.

[ItsMykolaJenkins]

Stop playing games and be open about what you want from women, jesus christ... if she friendzones you its for a reason.

I doubt very much a girl who friendzones will care if you ghost her.

Nobody goes on dates looking for friendship, be real...

She just doesn't like you as a man and probably as a person.

[ronaldo75]

You have atrocious reading comprehension.

[ItsMykolaJenkins]

No I dont... you have atrocious understanding of it and also of the relationship between man and women.
Are you a "nice guy"?
wouldn't be surprised...

[AnusNdaPainus]

The problem is these women who friendzone purposefully send mixed signals

[ronaldo75]

"nice guy"? Oh god... girl 2017 was 6 years ago. No I'm not a "nice guy". And you still dont undertand the premise. Not surprised.

[ItsMykolaJenkins]

@AnusNdaPainus this is why you need to be open and ask her right away what she wants
Is you see she is playing you, then i agree leave her ass
But super important to talk

[AnusNdaPainus]

You act like women don’t lie to get what they want

[ItsMykolaJenkins]

@AnusNdaPainus where do you even see that in my responce? i literslly say the opposite.
If yiu see she is one of those you leave her
But be open with women of your intentions

[AnusNdaPainus]

And what my response is asking is how will we know

Would you say that most people don’t lie
Would you say that most women aren’t liars

[AnusNdaPainus]

Be realistic

[ItsMykolaJenkins]

@AnusNdaPainus look im in the middle of break up with my boyfriend ok
Im very sad and tired
Im not in the mood of discussing something so simple
Im sorry bye

[AnusNdaPainus]

No you just don’t like when people are too honest

[ItsMykolaJenkins]

@AnusNdaPainus you literally make 0 sense

[AnusNdaPainus]

No I just have thought provoking conversations and questions

Most people aren’t used to hearing things that challenge them to think

[ItsMykolaJenkins]

@AnusNdaPainus you think too much of yourself

[WhitneySnow]

I totally disagree with you. When a guy ghosts you after you say you just want to be friends he’s saying that he doesn’t value your friendship.

[inhua]

the girl wanting to be friends does not mean the guy wants to be friends especially if he never promised such things

[WhitneySnow]

@inhua but he should

[WhitneySnow]

Friendship is valuable

[inhua]

only if it's genuinely friendship and not just acquaintances you happen to get along with

friends tend to hang out with each other, invite each other to places, trust one another and confide in secrets with one another. if you're too ashamed to be seen around with him/her then he/she is not a friend

[WhitneySnow]

@inhua I wouldn’t be ashamed to be seen with a guy I truly considered a friend

[inhua]

the question wouldn't pertain to those specific guys. it's for new guys

[WhitneySnow]

@inhua I still wouldn’t be ashamed to be seen with them

[inhua]

do you allow every guy you turn down to be your friend or are there conditions to being a friend as well such as looks, popularity etc?

[WhitneySnow]

@inhua I allow every guy I turn down to be my friend. I believe that a person should have as many friends as possible. That doesn’t mean we’ll be besties or anything, but we will be friends.

[ronaldo75]

So we have to be friends with you by force? That's just as bad as a guy demanding romance by force.

[ronaldo75]

You "allow" every guy you turn down to be your friend? You literally just proved my point. Wow you have an ego. this is the shit I warn men against. You want every guy you turn down to become another one in your collection of simps so you can have cheap easy validation and attention on tap. That's so self-absorbed and pathetic. Loser.

[DextroShade]

Men are NOT your friends!

[AnusNdaPainus]

When was the last time you went out of your way or greatly inconvenienced yourself for a male friend?

Most women don’t the purpose of friend zoning men is to have access to their resources with no commitments upfront

[Anonymous]

Men want sex without relationships.

Women (it turns out) would not be averse to relationships with guys where there's no sex.

When someone doesn't want to get involved that way, just be honest.

[Anonymous]

I don't think anyone is really bothered by this. When a girl friendzones a guy it means she gives ZERO shits about him. If he goes on to "ghost" her, chances are she doesn't even notice let alone give a shit.

Stop worrying about "problems" that don't exist in the real world. Trust me--real life has enough ACTUAL problems to worry about.

[inhua]

it's called the Women are Wonderful effect and Men are Demons effect

the man's intentions will always be demonized regardless of outcome

[catarecute]

men are not entitle to sex yet they complain about not having it all day everyday... same kind of thing

[ronaldo75]

So you admit women to something similar. See?

[catarecute]

i dont care if men ghost me if i dont love them. i am actualy happy. i have only fallen in love once and the man ghosted me and i though the pain was going to kill me. trust me if a woman doesn't love you and cares about you she will love you ghosting her.

[ronaldo75]

What? You're all over the place wtf are you talking about?

[catarecute]

seriously this site is for complete losers. everyone here is a bunch of losers i been listening to some love song elvis and whitney all day then i come on this site full of idiots pervs and losers and i just want to throw up.

[ronaldo75]

What? What the fuck are you projecting about? You're here too, so are you a loser?

[catarecute]

yea i am here to learn about losers so if i know one i know what to expect. that's literally the only reason i am one here.

[ronaldo75]

You sound like you'd be a horrible girlfriend though, and not the best of people overall. People who are one-sided are normally pathetic friends and even worse partners. You're not "learning" anything, you're observing as a way of feeding your ego.

[Anonymous]

Okay woman are 95% more dramatic then men. It's in our nature as a woman. In case you haven't realized woman love love attention.

[Pegases]

I think we know why. Good on you for ghosting women that tried to play with you. More men need to value themselves this way.

[236color]

"Friend zone" is "guy who can't take the hint he's been rejected"

[ronaldo75]

We're not talking about 1976. We're talking about 2023. Try and keep up.

[Nikki1989]

Who is bothered? You must know very different women to me.

[ronaldo75]

Yes, I do know women who are different. Seeing as how you are one person and the women around me are different people. Funny how that works.

[Sharkstealth]

What if a gal tells me that she has had casual sex and fuck buddies in the past but doesn't want to keep doing it. I met her last night and she volunteered her insta to me. We were all over each other and things got a bit sexual meaning some rubbing.

[ronaldo75]

@Sharkstealth This is part of why women hate getting old so much. They create a whole aura around controlling men with beauty and subtle string-alongs for sex, when they old that shit all dries up basically over night - which is why they only admit to these games when they've aged out of getting that type of attention.

[Sonorous]

I grew up with women & I have never heard them complain about this. This must be a new thing.

[Giddyup]

Cmon man, what happened to being a man. Can't you be an honest genuine person?

[shades777]

some like orbitors for a ego boost

[Reorx]

Ghosting signals abandonment.