Should girls wait until the guy has fallen in love with her before she falls in love with him, or does her love encourage him to love?

[Bethany22]

I mean you know, since men place a much larger importance on looks, and that men tend to take longer to fall in love than women do (as men start to build mental and emotional attraction only after physical attraction rather than before), isn't it a waste of time for a woman to fall for a man (for his personality) before he is attracted to her on all those levels? Or do you think that it can increase her attractiveness to him by revealing that she has fallen in love with him first?

[OlderAndWiser]

1. "men place a much larger importance on looks" Because, for us, physical attraction is based primarily on your appearance. That is not a choice we make; we are simply wired that way.

2. "men tend to take longer to fall in love than women do" I'm not sure that this is true, but men may wait longer to express that feeling to their girl.

3. "as men start to build mental and emotional attraction only after physical attraction rather than before" Yes, because for most of us, physical attraction happens almost immediately, as soon as we meet you.

4. "isn't it a waste of time for a woman to fall for a man (for his personality) before he is attracted to her on all those levels?" That may be true on a logical basis, but feelings do not follow rules of logic.

5. "Or do you think that it can increase her attractiveness to him by revealing that she has fallen in love with him first?" Most men want to be loved and that certainly does make a woman more attractive.

[Bethany22]

Really good and thorough answer

[Bethany22]

But by the way, women can have emotional and mental attraction almost immediately when they talk to a guy the first time. As in, she can be attracted to the way he talks

[OlderAndWiser]

As I have gotten older, I have had physical attraction develop as I got to know a woman, but that never happened when I was younger. Never! I was surprised the first time it happened.

[Bethany22]

That's interesting!

[glennos89]

I rarely fall in love with someone. But when I do I fall hard. Ofcourse looks Mathers but without even speaking to her or know her, I can fall in love when I look these woman straight in the eye. I'm not sure how or why... But just the look on her eyes makes can send a spark into my subconscious and then my subconscious will let me know if she is worth it for me or not.

Hope it makes any sense... It's difficult to explain in words but I thrust my guts for 100%. If my subconscious tells me to go for that girl, I will do that even when I'm still not understanding why I feel that urge inside me

[Bethany22]

Helpful answer

[glennos89]

Thanks for letting me know! I'm glad it makes sense to you because I wasn't sure how to explain it in words properly

[Altheavas]

I think one should take their time to identify and clarify their emotions and feelings which are mostly lighting strike if it happen too fast in my opinion. Falling in love without knowing whether you’re compatible, and y’a both had a genius interest in each other, and a willpower to commit, is fallible. Love is a commitment.

[devilish-cutie]

idkabt you but i cannot choose when i fall in love, but it is best to follow the lead of other person if they ar slower

[AviatorTom]

I don't think it's possible to determine when you fall in love. It either happens... or it doesn't.

[Aries06]

There is no one-size-fits-all answer to this question, as love and relationships are highly individual and complex. The idea that one person should wait for the other to fall in love first is a traditional and somewhat outdated notion. In healthy and equal relationships, both individuals should have the freedom to express their feelings and emotions without feeling pressured to conform to gender-based roles or expectations

Love is not something that can be controlled or forced. It's a natural, organic process that develops over time and is influenced by many factors, including compatibility, shared experiences, and mutual attraction. It's important for both partners to be authentic and open about their feelings rather than waiting for the other person to make the first move. In a healthy relationship both individuals should feel free to express their emotions and communicate openly. Waiting for one person to fall in love before the other may not be a productive approach as it can lead to misunderstandings and miscommunication. Encouraging open and honest communication from the beginning can help build a strong foundation for a loving and lasting relationship.

Ultimately the timing of when someone falls in love is not something that can be controlled or strategized. It's best to focus on building a strong emotional connection and mutual respect in a relationship, rather than adhering to specific rules or expectations about who should fall in love first

[blueonblack22]

It’s always better if the woman is slightly and I do emphasize slightly more in love the guy then vice versa. Reason being it will keep her head more straight when it comes to shit testing and other female emotions. Of course she shouldn’t feel that way about a guy who doesn’t have real feelings vice versa. But better if she’s slightly more in love.

Anyway in this best case scenario she will most likely be the one to fall in love first and she will be the one to say it first. It’s really better for a man to do all he can to show he’s in love without having to point out the obvious.

[Pudsmucker]

When I was dating I always look towards the inner person. That is what I like about a woman. Is her personality what I like or not like. Her personality really truly tells you who she is and what she truly cares about. That inner beauty that she carries with her goes farther than the outer beauty.

[clampfan101]

It doesn’t matter who falls in love first. You can’t control when you fall in love with someone. There’s nothing anyone can do or should do about the order of it.

(Additionally it doesn’t matter who makes the first move. I can’t stress that enough.)

[Billlewis]

Ideally, she should never fall in love with him, and if she does, she should avoid letting him know that she's in love with him, because a guy will always treat you better if you make him work harder for you.

[Monalisa77]

This is my tactic but difficult when you barely see them

[Billlewis]

@Monalisa77 Then just tease him as much as you can, and try to make him jealous as often as possible;)

[sheikalana]

You cannot oppress or avoid your emotions like that. People should take it at a slow pace instead of being obsessing over a feeling this is not a competition.

[wiltingrosepetal]

This question is a bit odd, if I'm honest. I don't think you can really time when you fall in love, it just kind of happens

[Jbear27]

Actually your data is incorrect. Men tend to fall in love faster than women and tend to say it first.

[FunkyMonkee]

It works both ways. But, one shouldn't just give up to the other just because the other is in love with them. It should be that they both feel the same way.

[NathanDavis]

yeah... you can't really control these things

love is not like one day you just decide to switch it on or keep it on hold, lol...

[Peter_Penetrator]

Women in general fall in love slower than men. If a man falls in love to fast, she will get spooked.

[Asimiv]

Yeah, I've had that experience too. Everyone says it's men who take longer to fall in love, but I just think men take longer to feel safe enough to trust a relationship, while women (unless there's a specific reason not to) feel safe sooner, bur actually fall in love a bit more slowly.

Doesn't neccessarily mean slow. The two (and a half) times I was in love, I fell fast, but still more slowly than the guy.

[Tim2nice]

You don’t wait to fall in love. That happens naturally.

[Ju_nishi]

Falling in love is not something you can control, I think.

[Anonymous]

She always has to prove her love to me before I'll unleash my feelings. If she wants to fine. If not there are 3.5 billion other women on the planet. Sorry a woman has to risk SOMETHING if she wants love.

[Sparkie460]

You can't control when you fall in love. It either happens or it doesn't. The only thing you can control is when you voice your love for your partner

[Raaj4you]

I have never heard any girl saying that I am in love with that guy. Only men fall in love first. Girls only evaluate guy's financial background and then they decide to fall in love.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Yes, I find your question correct.

[love_conquers_lust]

As if you have complete control over when that happens

[Vegasrunner]

For a relationship to last the woman has to be the one in love first.

[Mike87479]

I’m not sure someone can control falling in love.

[Still-alive]

Only be with guys you are attracted to otherwise it won't work well for you

[Jennz6]

We just do what we’re told

[Minahh]

She better wait for him

[nawtee_me]

Love does not alway begat love…

[TallAnon]

Should? Just live and whatever happens.. Happens.

[Anonymous]

Probably.