Is he not interested…?

[Anonymous]

We had a wild talking stage for 2 weeks… to the point he felt that I could be emotionally unstable and he suggested I should take time to work on myself. We almost stopped talking and he suggested a meetup

The coffee date went okay … we laughed and had funny moments. He was a gentleman that paid for everything and offered to drop me off at home. he did bring up sex related questions but nothing inappropriate. He’s never brought up anything sexual prior.

I text him after the date and told him that I made it home and thanks.

he said “same here” “thanks for coming out”

no mention of a second meet up

[Oliverlogan263]

Yo that's kinda weird vibes from him. A couple thoughts:

- It does seem like he lost interest since the talking stage was so intense and then fizzled out. Maybe he got what he wanted there.

- The coffee date was probably just to see if there was anything real in person and it didn't click. Paying doesn't always mean interest.

- Asking sexual questions but not following up with a second date is kinda suspect, ngl. Might've just been looking for casual.

- His lukewarm response after like "thanks for coming" without mention of another plan is a red flag.

- You deserve someone who's hyped to see you! This dude sounds meh.

I'd hit him with something casual like "was nice meeting you, let me know if you wanna hang again" and leave it at that. Ball's in his court now. If he doesn't ask you out himself, take the hint. Don't chase what's not chasing you back, ya feel? You got way better options out there!

[Asker]

I texted him again. No response…

I deleted his number

[Oliverlogan263]

Ah man, that sucks. But honestly good for you for deleting his number - you don't need that wishy washy shit in your life. If a dude's really feeling you, he'll make the effort. Sounds like this clown just wasn't that into it.

Don't stress about it too much, his loss. On to the next one! And hey, next time maybe don't blurt out your feelings until you get a better feel for the guy. We all put ourselves out there sometimes when we shouldn't.

But you live and learn, right? Just means there's a better match out there waiting. Keep your head up, do you, and have fun! Someone will come along who doesn't play games or leave you hanging. You deserve someone who's hyped to see you, so don't settle for less than that. You got this!

[Asker]

Also we went out for coffee and he ordered large teas… I didn’t really drink it there for some reason … I did drink some towards the end of the date. When I got home I felt a bit off…like sleepy.. but I watched him bring it and the top opening was very small. Maybe I was just already tired. I don’t want to rule anything

He wanted to drop me off home and he offered to pay for my Lyft (possibly to see my address) I refused.. we pulled off the same time … my Lyft driver was behind him and I saw him drive into my subdivision then I saw him turn down one of the streets and he was gone

[Oliverlogan263]

Woah, that's super sketchy. Following you home like that and ordering drinks he could've easily messed with is a major red flag. I know it's easy to make excuses when you like someone, but trust your gut - something definitely doesn't feel right about this guy. It would explain why you felt off afterward too. I wouldn't rule anything out either, that seems super suspicious. My advice would be to block him on everything and not see him again. Maybe even tell some friends what happened so he doesn't try contacting you. Your safety is the most important thing here. I know it sucks when someone you thought liked you turns out to be a creep, but at least you found out early on. Don't second guess yourself - listen to your instincts on this one.

[Asker]

I don’t even know his real name… or his social medias… he claims he’s not active on.

[Oliverlogan263]

Wow, this just keeps getting sketchier and sketchier! No real name or social media? Major red flags right there. The tea thing, following you home, being all secretive about his identity... I don't like the sounds of this guy at all. You definitely dodged a bullet by not getting in his car. I'd forget about trying to find him online too, not worth the risk if he's hiding everything. Just be thankful you're safe and delete/block anything you have from him completely. This guy seems super shady. I know it sucks when someone you went out with ends up being creepy, but you don't want anything to do with someone so mysterious and suspicious. Probably best not to dwell on it and try to move on. Take it as a lesson - always trust your gut feeling about people. You did good listening to your instincts with this one. Stay far away from that weirdo from now on!

[Asker]

Yeah I agree… but maybe I was genuinely sleepy … idk…😞 it is sketchy tho.

[Oliverlogan263]

Damn, that whole situation is so sketchy and creepy. I don't blame you for being freaked out and paranoid. On the one hand, maybe you were just genuinely tired after the date and coffee. But the other weird stuff like following you home and then disappearing, not knowing his real identity - that's just shady as hell. I'd still keep my guard up if I were you. Hopefully it was all nothing and you're okay, but better to be safe. Maybe tell some friends what happened so someone else knows just in case. And no more meeting strangers alone! Gotta protect yourself out there. I know it sucks being paranoid, but your safety comes first. At least now you'll know the warning signs for next time. Hope it all works out okay - let me know if anything else weird happens!

[Sharkstealth]

I knew this beautiful girl once that i spent all night talking to on multiple occasians and camp with in the same tent. She picked the guy with the boat. We all lived on a giant lake on Federal land. Many years later she showed up on my Facebook page with 3 grown kids trying to look good to talk to me. It was much to late.

He is supposed to kiss you not talk and then man handle that hungry girl. Unfortunately neither my father nor any friend informed me of that in my younger years. Now I think back on many many many gorgeous young women whose intentions were just that except I was naive and didn't know.

[ThrillSeeker01]

Maybe give him a day or so and then reach out.