Guy on a date rated me and told me what my "league" was. Is this rude?

Question

Is this rude? I went on a tinder date the other day. We went for a drink at this bar. The guy showed up and I could tell he was pretty nervous. As we talked (it was quite awkward conversation already) he then started whipping out his phone and said "but you know that you're an 8/10 right? So you should be dating other 8's, 7's, 9's, but anything below or above that range would be out of your reach." I was gobsmacked and didn't know what to say, I didn't ask for his opinion on my looks, and THEN he showed me a picture of a half-naked girl in lingerie on his phone and said "that's a 10/10 girl right there." Then he said "but don't worry, 8/10 is good enough. It's equivalent to a B+ in school. Most guys would sleep with you."

WTF just happened on that date? Is that normal for a guy to say that on a first date?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Some people say really stupid things when they are nervous. Doesn’t make it “okay” but it’s a bizarre coping mechanism. But if it makes you feel better being called an “8” is far from an insult for most people. Still pretty stupid of him to say that though.

Also no most guys will never say that. I’ve also had women say much worse things to me on first dates then what this guy said to you. If a woman said I was an 8 and should be dating and banging 7s, 8s and 9s it would be weird for her to say that. Weird but I’m not sure if it was an insult. But I’ve been told much worse. Unprovoked too.

Nowadays when people act weird like that just smile and say “well it’s nice to meet you. But I think I am leaving now. Have a nice day”. A controlled response like that and walking away with a poker face can have a much deeper impact on people then you will realize.

I remember I did that after a girl insulted about my haircut one time. She wasn’t prodding or joking around either. What she said was straight up horrible.

I just said “have a good night” in response and left. She then bombed my phone the next day profusely apologizing and literally begging me for a second date. She said she had no idea what the hell was wrong with her to say that. Also said I did absolutely nothing to deserve that (and I sure as hell didn’t)

I told her I felt a lot better that she apologized (I did) but I declined meeting up again. Yes she did the right thing to own up to being very wrong but she also said that because she thought I was attractive. What if she didn’t think I was cute? In that case she would of said that (or worse) and never feel any need to apologize for it. Simply because she doesn’t respect people out general principle. She only cares about what’s in it for her. And that’s very wrong.

So she needed a hard lesson on a lost opportunity. You treat everyone respectfully whether you are attracted to them or not (as long they are equally respectful to you).

bededazzle · Accepted Answer

i personally have never met a man who uses those numbers that i respect

Rei13 · Accepted Answer

Did that actually happen? That is wild. But, no, that is not normal. I wouldn’t let it get to you and it’ll just be another crazy bad date story to share later. It’s better that he acted like that in the beginning so that you could filter him out real fast

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

He’s insecure. He’s hoping to “knock you down a peg” and make you pine for his approval.

AviatorTom · Answer

You met the guy on Tinder, that should give you a hint...

Avicenna · Answer

That's pathetic on his part. But it's not that surprising given that he's on Tinder.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

THERE'S YOUR WARNING SIGN! Don't say you haven't been warned!

wolfcat87 · Answer

Not sure if he was trying to neg you and failing or if he was just socially awkward. Could go either way. Still a compliment though, he could have said a 5/10, but gave you a solid 8. Getting a 10/10 would be incredibly subjective since you would have to fit someone's individual idea of perfect anyways. I wouldn't over think it and would just move on

smne35 · Answer

I hope you just walked out of there, that's disrespectful and rude but at same time being honest in his eyes, so ignore that and don't allow it to affect you in any way ok so tinder really works I always figured it was like ask other date sites, scamville, but I think I'll check it out for research purposes, delete that incident and don't worry, 8 out of 10 you must be attractive, I don't play those ratings games childish

BoopBoopBeep · Answer

Either he gets all his game from reddit boards or he was tanking the date to get you uninterested so he didn't have to try to get rid of you. Now you want to get rid of him. It's a shady coward's way out, but it's not an uncommon tactic. I'm going to get fined from the Man Club for telling you this, but a lot of "cringe" things guys do on a date and then you're like "oooh this guy sucks"... yeah it's intentional because he's not into you.

HawkPerception · Answer

That dude has zero social tact or any intelligence. You probably thought he was cute before deciding to go on the date with him. You might need to re-evaluate your filter and talk a bit more online to find out how they converse before going on a date.

WhyohWhy69 · Answer

Sounds like one of those red pill losers who can’t keep a woman or get along with other people. Ditch him. Somebody out there will be crazy about you. Btw- I’m dating a guy 20+ years older than me. He never treats me any less than a diamond.

coolbreeze · Answer

That was so weird and random. Maybe that was his way of breaking the ice but that was a bad way of doing it. He should had said your a 10/10 for brownie points.

HappyWoman34 · Answer

How offensive. I’m really sorry and not all guys are like this. Hold out for a guy you’d be proud of

sawno · Answer

Sounds like someone who considered himself very high on that scale and has absolutely no personality to match up for his own rating.

slatyb · Answer

He has a strange and very immature view of dating and life.

Iron_Man · Answer

It’s awkward and weird, especially if he’s cutting you down

Sasha0426 · Answer

Absolutely not! Guys like that are only looking for a fuck.

Shy_Steve · Answer

Yes, It's a bit weird but he was odviously nervous and probably didn't know what to talk about so you should have just tried to ask him questions and steered the conversation in another direction.

rigmarole · Answer

The digital generation... No human connection... Everything is a digit.

Luckycharms12 · Answer

No such thing as leagues bs people make up in there minds

deus_ex_sisyphus · Answer

Thats quite a bold approach to a potential partnership, maybe his intentions were less than long term?

Jmmmfi4 · Answer

EVEN ON MY WORST DATE I WOULDN'T SAY THAT SHIT

OddBeMe · Answer

Only if you subtract by race, divide by income disparity and then multiply the fucks you can’t give.

Guy on a date rated me and told me what my "league" was. Is this rude?

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