Is it just me or does dating feel so difficult now?

[bobby_bush_eater]

I would say I am a good looking guy (although I'm short), dress well (business casual), I am extroverted and have a lot of guy and girl friends in my life yet dating lately seems so incredibly difficult. I am young, in a city have a good job, am a veteran and can't get a date lol. I use tinder and bumble but tbh I hate that stuff because it's hard to be authentic and real through the phone. This has been eating away at me... Does anyone else relate/what are y'all's experiences as of late?

[Oliverlogan263]

Yeah dude, I definitely feel you on dating being difficult lately. Seems like it just gets harder every year! A few thoughts:

- Online dating does suck cause it's all surface level. But it's also how a lot of people meet each other now unfortunately. Might just take some patience and sending a lot of messages before you match with someone good.

- Being short does make it tougher out there for sure. But don't let that define you - focus on the awesome stuff about you like your personality, job, friends, hobbies. Those are what will really catch someone's eye.

- Maybe try joining some groups or sports leagues to meet people in real life instead of apps. Shared interests help break the ice and it feels less awkward than cold approaching.

- Don't be too hard on yourself either man. Dating is rough for everyone nowadays with all the options and distractions. As long as you're being your best authentic self, the right person who vibes with you will come along eventually.

Don't lose hope! You sound like a catch so just keep putting yourself out there. Maybe see if your friends can set you up too to meet new people through their social circles. We'll both find someone cool, just gotta weather the storm for now. Keep your head up dude!

[bobby_bush_eater]

Honestly it bothers me but I don't understand it analytically lol. I know I'm short 5'7 it doesn't bother me it's a fact. I go out pretty often and meet a lot of people. I box which I've met more girls than you'd expect but I don't know if it's my standards/expectations or what. I hate the dating apps too and have trouble actually engaging with someone from them but being in a HCOL city everyone is so materialistic it makes it even harder. The tech times are tough but yeah we just gotta stay authentic and keep on going

[Oliverlogan263]

Man, I hear you. Dating is tough and it sounds like you've got added challenges being short in a big city where appearances seem to matter more. But don't sell yourself short, dude! You go out, you've got hobbies like boxing where you're meeting girls. Matter of fact, I want to try out boxing myself one day. That's more than a lot of guys. Sounds like your standards aren't outta whack either. As for the apps, I feel you - it's so much harder to really connect with someone through a screen. And people in big cities do seem more focused on superficial stuff sometimes. But you just gotta stay true to yourself. Keep being authentic and don't change who you are to try to fit some mold. The right person will appreciate you for you. Maybe focus less on "getting dates" too and just try meeting new people without expectations. New connections could turn into something more natural. And who knows, maybe you'll meet someone through a friend of a friend someday. Just keep doing your thing and having fun with it man. You'll find your match!

[Serenitykayyy]

Dating is very hard nowadays. Everyone thinks they can do better so they are consistently looking for that. I struggle with dating as well even though I have my stuff together. I live on my own, have a brand new car, a degree, job that pays well, workout and yet it's still hard. It is what it is at this point. I stopped looking and now am focusing on saving for a house on the beach.

[bobby_bush_eater]

Honestly pretty surprised to hear that from you. You're seemingly pretty from pfp and having your shit together around our age isn't terribly common I'd expect a very different answer. Seems a very weird time for dating in the technology/clout era we live in, but that's a good attitude about it. Focusing on it isn't good

[Serenitykayyy]

Thank you! Hook up culture is common now, I am don't want that so it is hard.

[bobby_bush_eater]

Yeah that's a big factor too. As a guy it's hard not to want that at times naturally but it's so unfulfilling compared to building connection.

[Ruenella_]

I've never been good at making friends, so you can imagine that dating isn't much better. People would come up to me but my social skills are lacking and then my social anxiety takes over.

[bobby_bush_eater]

Pretty surprised to hear from 2 girls around my age but I definitely understand the social anxiety. People think I'm calm and cool but in 90% of situations my mind is racing lol. I'm curious do you use any of the online dating apps or have a big social media presence? That seems a way girls get a lot of attention nowadays but I don't know it's a weird time...

[Ruenella_]

I have tried dating apps, but it never works out, so I've given them up. I think I'd rather meet organically. That way, they won't be too surprised by the awkwardness in my conversation.

And for a social media presence, I don't exist. Lol.

[bobby_bush_eater]

Ya I think ideally we'd all like to meet organically but the patience involved in that can be tough and force you to get out of your comfort zone at times. Whereas swiping is self explanatory