Men, after you found your wife, did you gain the will to live life to the fullest?

[Anonymous]

I had a very traumatic childhood and early adult life. It messed me up bad. I took off many years from dating to fix myself.

Fixing myself seems like it's going to take the rest of my life.

But I wish I could live. I wish I could find a wife and get married and have kids.

But I hate to live. I hate to exist. I hate every day on this planet. It's not that I want to feel like this. But the only thing that motivates me at all is the idea of having someone to love and to have kids to love too.

Everything else is meaningless.

But I removed myself from the dating market because I am broken and I don't want to get into the wrong kind of relationship again. I don't want to torture some poor girl with the unfortunate reality of my mental health.

If I were to start seeking a partner again I don't know for sure that just because I find someone, that it will change my brain and make me feel better and want to live life again.

Maybe I will just be burdening some poor girl with my existence and no poor girl deserves for me to do that to her.

What should I do? I need advice thank you!

Updates

+1 y

Also I am bursting with love for others. But I only love from afar. I have so much love to give.

[Selene1600000]

You don’t need to be “perfect” to deserve love, but right now your happiness is entirely dependent on a relationship, which puts too much weight on it. Focus first on building a life that feels even slightly worth living on your own (therapy, support groups, routine), so a partner adds to your life instead of carrying it. When you reach a more stable place, you can date honestly without feeling like a burden.

[Luméa]

I suggest you go to therapy, no magic wand will come and make you better instantly, you should also try for yourself, your old life may have been traumatic, but you are living in the present RIGHT NOW, STAY IN THE MOMENT, your past does not define yyou if you have some money (unless you are very poor) I believe that you will find a partner, get married and have children, everything in this life has a solution, don't lose hope anon🥹

[slatyb]

There's no magic person that will change one's life.

[Asker]

It's not the person. It's the dynamic of a new life. I don't think the person would change the fact that I hate to exist into a love for it. But the fact that I have someone to love.

But that probably wouldn't change anything either.

I can't imagine enjoying life.

[slatyb]

Therapy and drugs could help. Getting into a partnership out of desperation won't.

[Tharithi]

If u are financially strong to take a wife u should