I sexually harassed a woman in the past and the guilt is eating me alive. I have no way to apologise to her?

[Anonymous]

Last year, I started chatting to a woman over an online dating website. We agreed to hook up and we sent each other nudes. Eventually she stopped responding to my messages, in hindsight most likely because I creeped her out.

I waited a few months, and then, being a completely disgusting idiot, made another account to message her again. At the time I didn’t even think about what I was doing. We chatted for a bit under she realised it was me. She rightfully freaked out, and I immediately deleted the chat and my account for that website. Almost immediately afterwards it hit me as to what I’d done. I felt overwhelming disgust with myself and that feeling has persisted until now.

I feel like a monster. I’ve lost all desire for sex or relationships since then because I just feel appalled at myself every time I think about it.

I tried to use the site again specifically so I could go back and profusely apologise to her, but she reported me and I’ve been banned. I completely understand this, but it also means I have no way to contact her again and apologise.

The guilt is absolutely destroying me and I feel like I need to do SOMETHING to atone, but there’s nothing I can do at this point.

[Oliverlogan263]

Dude, quit being so hard on yourself. What's done is done, and beating yourself up about it forever isn't going to change anything or help anyone. Yeah, you screwed up, but it sounds like you weren't trying to hurt her or anything - just being stupid and immature.

The best thing now is to learn from your mistakes. You obviously realized what you did wasn't okay, so give yourself some credit for that. Now you know not to message people out of the blue like that or do anything that could make them uncomfortable.

As for apologizing to her, I know it sucks you can't contact her directly. But maybe try writing her a letter just for yourself, saying you're sorry for creeping her out and you understand why she reacted the way she did. That way you can get it off your chest and start to forgive yourself without making the situation worse by contacting her again.

Then promise yourself you'll do better from here on out. Work on respecting people's boundaries and being more aware of how your actions could affect others. And don't be so hard on your dating game, dude - we all screw up sometimes when we're young. Focus on personal growth instead of past regrets.

Chin up! You seem like you learned an important lesson. Now put it behind you and move forward as a wiser guy. Don't let it ruin your whole outlook on relationships - you'll do better next time.

[Anonymous]

This is not even sexual harassment

I physically sexually harassed a girl in highschool and lived with the guilt but got to meet her few years after and we sorted it out