How long/how many dates does it take to know if you should continue seeing a guy?

[Skye07]

I met this guy from a dating app app a month or so ago. I just had my second date with him. He's a very straight forward guy and has made it very clear that he likes me a lot. Recently, through texts it seems like he has been trying to gauge my reciprocation of interest for him as well. So far I can tell that he is a nice guy and he is respectful. After our second date, we were texting a little and he a little more directly was wondering if I was interested in him. I kind of deflected the question a little because I honestly don't know! I'm not feeling much of anything but is that because I need more time or because there really isn't much chemistry? I struggle with extreme dating anxiety and so going on dates has always been hard on me. Heck, before this second date I had a major anxiety attack and i almost tried to cancel it.. once I was on the date I was fine and such. Despite my horrible anxieties I feel like I'm ready to date and I have an open mindset about dates and dating. I just can't tell if this guy is the one I want to date or not. I guess it doesn't help that I met another guy on that same app that I'd be interested in meeting as well. What are your thoughts? I accidentally wrote a lot, sorry.

[jennifer_bloom]

My aunt said the best way to gauge a guy's interest is to look at how he treats little details. A guy that is playing a game with you for personal gain will touch the important bases but he will forget the little details. One thing I look at when talking to a guy, is the things about him that are true that he does not vocalize to the world. An example is, I knew a guy who did a lot of volunteer work for charity and I asked him why he did not put it on his nearly empty resume and he said he did not want to brag about doing his duty.

I know another guy that would hide his GPA from his friends cause it was so high that people would think he was an egomaniac if he talked about it, we eventually learned he got a high GPA because of the type of medical program he got accepted into after he did his bachelors degree. I know another STEM guy that did one of the hardest programs in the entire university and he still read one book on Christianity every single week while doing his M. D. degree. He talked about it, but only after several years as president of the Christian fellowship. He did not promote it as his introductory remark when you first meet him.

[bobalife]

It’s not a number and completely up to you on determining it. But at the sound of it, yalls spoked for a long time and had two dates… you don’t feel excited or anything? It may be clear you wanna feel something but it’s just not there and can’t be force whereas you’re more excited about someone else.

[Anonymous]

It's very simple; do you feel happy in his presence and safe around him; aka Chemistry. I feel chemistry with a woman I like and have met many times, but the difference is that she approached me because she liked me in person; it's harder to develop feelings of chemistry on the apps because you skip the familiarity step and go straight to the date stage.

[slatyb]

Usually not many, but sometimes we learn that the person we are seeing is not who they appear to be. Do what you feel. "I'm not feeling much of anything but is that because I need more time or because there really isn't much chemistry" There really isn't much chemistry. If there were, you would know it.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I usually know after the first date.

[Paris13]

Hoping you Are On Meds for This so You Can Live a Halfway Normal Life with Less Strife. Go Slow Right Now. You will Be Able to Tell as Time Goes On If He is For You or Vice Verse. For Me? I Can Usually Tell By The First Date. lol However, With a Friend One Time... I Got Fooled. lolxxoo

[Tomisworthless]

It’s not a number of dates it’s how you feel towards them. I had a date with this one girl but when we went on a hike she talked about her exes to me and on the phone referred to me as a friend to her mom so i knew she wasn’t into me. Then several days later i texted her asking if she wanted to do something the following weekend and she said that she’s really busy but thanked me for asking which was a nice way of saying I don’t have time for you. After that I just deleted her number and moved on

[LostGirl09]

I feel that I must be comfortable in his presence and he must be gentleman enough to me. While this sounds very old school, but the general gentleman manners of opening the doors for me, walking me to the bus stop (and preferably home in the later stages) and paying for the bill for the first date counts to the first impression of this guy.

[yourpalval]

1 - 3 for me cuz sometimes he's shy so you gotta spend a little more time but other times it fuckn clicks right away

[Static_In_The_Attic]

Before it’s love it’s probably lust so take your time & go on as many dates until you get to know him.

[Flatmanlewis]

I’d say by date two if your not feeling it, then that’s pretty much it. Truthfully, date one is usually enough.

[Anonymous]

How much experience do you have with dating? Have you ever had a relationship that was sexual? Do you know how it feels to be attracted to someone sexually?

[Nikki1989]

Sometimes you can tell in the first 5 minutes.

[Demonatrix]

If you aren't feeling it now you should go your separate ways.

[sheikalana]

The first date/first impression matters a lot.

[Jamie05rhs]

You definitely need more time. And if you don't know yet, it's totally okay to tell him!
I would recommend a series of 5 to 7 dates.

[Minahh]

After a narcissistic relationship/if you worked on your trauma it shouldn't take you more than 3 to 6 dates

[PedroMoreno2000]

I believe that you’ll notice even on the first date. When anything does not fills you up, a gesture, a situation, lack of emotion… it’s time to say goodbye

[KrakenAttackin]

Give it some time. Your anxiety is clouding your judgement.

[laly520]

a couple of days or weeks r enough to decide

[In_Trance]

You should know after the first

[Skye07]

Could you explain a little more? Like should I know if this guy is someone I would want to go on another date with or someone I would want to be in a relationship with in the future? That feels very fast to me

[In_Trance]

Relax and enjoy your time together it's really that simple.

[Twalli]

Tell him what you just told us.

[Roudyrebel8]

There's no magic number

[DreamLife7]

How do you not know? Women can be so brainless

[Amara_09]

2? That’s enough