Guys, how do you make sure you don't fall in love, or become interested in the wrong type of person (again)?

[MiddleAgedClimbee]

[NathanDavis]

I just don't... entertain things

it depends if I am single myself or not, I am in a relationship with someone that means I am in love with that someone, so... "falling" for someone else is not even a thing, it just won't happen

but if I am single... wait, I have to think about this, what do you mean by "wrong type of person"

do you mean wrong type of person as in a racist fuck, a serial killer... an Aaron Rodgers fan?

or, do you mean wrong type of person because of their situation, like a... woman that's married or has a boyfriend, a lesbian who would not even care about it, or a best friends sister or mom or something weird like that?

[MiddleAgedClimbee]

@NathanDavis I am interested in how single guys avoid starting a new relationship, or returning to an old one with a person whose values do not intersect with their own.

[NathanDavis]

oh, okay... that

well, I guess that goes very differently for different people, and in my case... I don't have that kind of issue or never had them... because I am very selective about these things, and I put great value in affinity and being compatible, this is about their mindset and their feelings

and since you mention "values" well, my values are very basic decency, don't be a bad person, lol... so if they're some kind of sexist, racist, or hate any group of people, I am just out of there in a split second... if they are selfish or awful people, I do not even consider anything with them in the first place... and if we're not aligned on this

then it is probably that the one thing I could see in them is... the physical attraction, or the "sex appeal" and these two things are things I've never had as a priority, these are the things I do not entertain when I am more interested on someone in particular

my sex drive does not drive me like that

[MiddleAgedClimbee]

@NathanDavis your highly detailed dancer is much appreciated. I do believe there is a contingent of guys and certainly girls out there, that hold out that perhaps the person has changed, or will change for them. I like your approach.

[MiddleAgedClimbee]

* detailed answer
Although, perhaps you are a detailed dancer. That's another question.🤣

[NathanDavis]

this is precisely, one of the things I always wanted to avoid...

to wait or hope for someone to be the one I wished them to be for me... to wait for them to change their bad, or not so good ways... this is something I would never want because this is forcing things, and not something I would want to deal with

especially, to expect that someone is going to change "for me" is something I would not like either, if people have something bad about them, then they should be working on that for themselves and not for others, otherwise it will not be as genuine or not even possible

so I honestly have not seen myself in these situations before, because I avoid them like the plague

now ask me about eating too much carbs... this is something I've always found irresistible and I even justify it and keep eating bad carbs, lol

but people that are not good to me, nope...

[Anonymous]

The best defense is to take... his... time. Never let a woman rush you into committing to her. Take as LONG as you need. Her biological clock is HER problem, NOT YOURS. If she rushes you, kick her to the curb and start over again. Because if she's a good woman she'll understand your apprehensiveness. She'll do all she can allay any fears you have. And if she truly loves you she'll be patient.

[FunkyMonkee]

That's what dating is for. You have several dates with her and find out what she's like and if she's right for you.

[MiddleAgedClimbee]

Dating can certainly be a good scanning tool. Initially, I realize there's no full proof method for determining if a partner is going to be long-term compatible. I was just interested in guy's perspective on this topic.

[FunkyMonkee]

True! I've been TRYING to explain that to some idiot on another question for days, now. He thinks that if you date someone once, you're locked with them for life! Or that, if you fuck them on the first date, you can't fuck anybody else for the rest of your life without cheating.

[Squatting_Slav]

I ensure that she understands all my boundaries on the get go

[Radiate143]

If I have an intense reaction to them, I know it is a primal urge and it will be a toxic pairing so I ignore it.

[TheSpaceGnome]

You refuse any woman who isn't just like you mentally, and you don't be the type of person you dislike.

[love_conquers_lust]

Talk to other women.

[Roudyrebel8]

Take the time to get to know them