How much of a factor is a woman’s education and job to men who want marriage?

[Anonymous]

I’m especially curious about men who do have a degree, all answers are welcome of course.

I agree with the general opinion they don’t at all for hookups, although for long term relationships, in my experience it’s a strong factor. For context I haven’t attended college due to family circumstances that occurred immediately after high school graduation. I come from a middle class family and most men I attract come from middle or upper middle class, I myself work as a supervisor at a country club, so I do have more of an “professional” look.
These men I’ve spoken to are all commitment minded and have attended university. When the topic comes up, they always assume I’ve attended university and when I mention I haven’t attended college there seems to be a shift despite other areas going well in compatibility.

If it makes a difference personality wise my family and friends have said I have an easy going, friendly attitude and very family attitude. Which I’ve always been told are primary traits men look for.

Updates

+1 y

I meant to type easy going, friendly attitude and family oriented*
I realize I’m asking a small sample size but it’s a relief to hear men value intelligence the most!

[adam6402]

I'm not marrying someone who's stupid but education means nothing to me. I don't mind if she has a dizzy personality or is a bit slow in a funny way, but if she lacks common sense and basic practical knowledge then that becomes a liability.

I see much more value in a girl who is emotionally intelligent and practically skilled than a girl who's intellectually intelligent but lacks basic life skills.

I had a girlfriend a few years back who was always top of her class going through school and in her final year she even made it into the national top 10 in maths. Yet she was THEE most impractical girl I've ever known!! Absolutely useless at directions, literally couldn't even find her way home from 5 minutes away. She was so bad at cooking she didn't even know how to heat up 2 minute noodles. Her time management was shocking and she was running late everywhere she went. She couldn’t follow a set of basic instructions if her life depended on it, and trying to teach her something new was next to impossible because she'd keep overthinking every damn thing the whole time. Oh, we went snorkeling once…she couldn’t comprehend how a fkn snorkel worked!! Hand-eye coordination was non-existent, and you couldn’t trust her to complete any practical tasks. Yet through school, this is a girl who was considered to be “one of the smartest”.

[Asker]

Yes I’ve had a similar experience, I often work with the highly educated of my area and not all but too many lack common sense. Glad to hear because I would describe myself as a practical woman! Thanks for the response!

[RavVid]

Education doesn't factor at all. What does matter to me is that a girl is interested in the world around her. University education doesn't mean that. It can mean a closed mind instead with the political indoctrination that takes place.

As an illustration, in the everyday world the highest maths you might use is percentages. If you have done a maths degree does that help you in every day life? I do use a bit more myself like queuing theory at the super market but that is just for fun.

You are right in terms of what men look for. For myself

1. Happy disposition. Fun is a good additive. I like a little irony

2. Cooperative and not disputatious.

3. Family focused including joint goals

4. Caring, loving

5. Willing to work i. e. task oriented

I'm not sure why you would detect a shift when you say you hadn't gone to college.

It may be just the way you are putting it. If you said due to family issues you were fortunate in not doing a useless degree in feminist studies and accumulating a massive debt then you might get a different reaction. At least you'd get a laugh.

[Asker]

Yes I do think I would score a laugh for that one😆 and I second that many colleges have political indoctrination. I was telling a user that my father left the house and with no financial help. I had to immediately start a full time job. In addition I also took on the responsibility of becoming a guardian for my newborn nephew. I think perhaps I’m comparing myself to harshly with others because I didn’t have the “normal” path it seems other had around me. I think it’s just a source of insecurity for me, so perhaps I assume there's a “shift”

[RavVid]

Well I think think the family support is to your great credit in the circumstance - it was unfortunate your father took that. It might be that insecurity that guys are sensing - it could be unconsciously even - or you assume they react to that. I think guys would be pleased by the character you have show and think if she did that she be a good partner. And it is a bonus you didn't do feminist studies. :)

Work experience won't hurt you if you do go to college later. I got c's and B's the took a work break for a few years and went back. I got HDs after the break because my work experience taught me to work. It seems hard to pick a useful degree now because so many degrees are churned out. Hospitality maybe given your work but I've seen that they are not valued. Maybe consult with your management.

I think good analytic skills are most valued and if you can help to run the operation more efficiently & effectively management will like it.. I just randomly decided I wanted to save costs in my area and it turned into a good business.

[rigmarole]

Intelligence matters, but your education certificates aren't intelligence. You study in order to get credentials in order to be considered for specific job opportunities. Jobs give you an avenue to earn a living. That said, people can get jobs or create their own with litter to no education. So education at face value has no relationship value... How much you earn is also not of major importance. What is important when it comes to money is that you are able to meet your needs and wants and manage your finances responsibly. It's important that you don't enter a relationship expecting to use your partner to get things you want. So if you are frugal and don't have big tastes, and earn a smaller salary, no big deal. If you earn a million dollars a year, but you spend a million and one dollars a year, then you're irresponsible. So many people are up to the eyes in debt and just floating pay check to pay check even when they have what is considered a high paying career. That's unattractive. What you do for a living may or may not be interesting to the person you end up dating. Obviously if you're doing something you are passionate about and it's interesting to hear about in conversation that's a plus. So to wrap it up, intelligence, responsibility, and passion are good traits. What you earned your degree (s) in and what you earn are not really that interesting... If you do something respectable, then that's pretty good. If you do something dirty, it's a reflection of your lack of character.

[rigmarole]

*little

[Anonymous]

TBH you sound great.

I have two college degrees for context. I don't care a whit about a woman's education or career. That's not to say I don't care whether she's smart. I do, but it doesn't take a college degree to be smart.

What matters more to me, and I believe to most family / marriage minded men, are her personality, her heart, her attitudes and priorities. Those are the things that, if right, make a good wife, mother and life partner. I would much rather marry a woman like that that a highly educated, career driven woman. Women like that tend to make horible mothers, and I want a wife who will be a good mother to our children.

[ProbablyClueless]

Education and intelligence have been fairly important... I have a doctoral degree, so there's a certain comfort level in talking with women who know the struggle lol

As far as the actual job they hold goes; not so much. As long as I have a vibe that they're financially responsible.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Degrees and job doesn't matter, but preferred job, intelligence, and creativity does.
Hobbies, interests, and relatability matter the most, and the above things impact those.

[aceleon]

not really a factor normally but i would like her to work from home if possible so do the math yourself.

[Surely]

I have attended college, but no degree. College education doesn’t mean much to me. As long as they don’t try to rub my face in it. Most times the highly educated people that I know, don’t have any common sense or life skills.

[CozyCoffin]

I find that to be a ridiculous standard to exclude partners by. If you’re compatible, and truly enjoy each other’s company, then that shouldn't be a concern.

[exitseven]

I would prefer a woman that has gone to college and completed it. It shows commitment and ambition.

[Asker]

Just out of curiosity what if they showed those traits in other ways? My father separated from my mother as soon as I graduated and left us nothing financially, so as a result I had to jump into work full time to keep the family afloat :)

[exitseven]

Yes, there is other metrics I would look for. When I got married I did not have a college degree. I had gone to college but had to drop out because I ran out of money. It was apparent that I was a hard worker and someone I would figure out a way to finsh which I did finally do.

[boggboss]

Would be on the lower end of things I would care about

[worldscolide]

It was never a factor for me. I could care less about her earning potential. Only about weather or not her values aligned with mine.

[OfDeath]

Education means something but job doesn’t unless she’s a hooker or a real estate agent or something horrible like that.

[KrakenAttackin]

Very little as long as she has reasonable intelligence.

[kingmaker21]

Good heart & kind nature matter for marriage..

[jahaims]

Not a factor

[Anonymous]

😆😆😆