How can I not be scared of my girlfriend losing interest in me?

[Anonymous]

I’ve met women who were crazy for me, but I have abandonment issues from women who weren’t interested in me growing up. And getting rejected. But since, I worked on myself, I feel more confident in myself. But I have a new girlfriend, and she brings the worst in me. She tells me she loves me. But I worry when she doesn’t contact me within a few hours. I think of all sorts of bad things. Like her not being in love anymore. And I start crying because I don’t want to lose her. I love her with all my heart. And I tell her that. But I always feel like that’s not good enough. I haven’t been eating lately, till I know she has contacted me. I don’t want to tell her any of this, because I don’t want her to worry. But I also have body image issues too. So I think maybe it’s because I’m not lean enough. Therefore like not good looking enough for her. So I like starve myself when I don’t feel like she’s fulfilled my daily need of communication with her.

[Oliverlogan263]

Yo man, I feel you. It sounds like you've really struggled with rejection and self-esteem issues in the past. But it's important not to project all that insecurity onto this new relationship. A few things that may help:

- Tell your girl how you're feeling. Hiding it will only make the anxiety worse - communication and honesty are key.

- Remind yourself that she's with you because she likes YOU. Trust that her feelings are genuine unless she shows otherwise.

- Don't put so much pressure on constant contact. Give each other space to live separate lives too.

- When worries hit, try distracting yourself with hobbies instead of spiraling. Go to the gym, ball with your boys - do something you enjoy.

- Starving yourself won't change a thing bro, and will only hurt you. Take care of your body no matter what.

- Consider talking to a counselor too - they can help unpack the root issues and give coping strategies.

You seem self-aware, so you've got this man. Just keep choosing to believe in yourself and the realness of your relationship each day. Lean on your friends for support too if you need to vent - you ain't alone in this.

Chin up! With time and work, the anxiety will fade. Trust that better days are coming.

[Anonymous]

Be more self confident.