Man was in love until I told him this- now he wants nothing to do with me?

[Dutchgirl97]

I met a man and we had almost everything in common. We are both Scandinavian, enjoy the same music, have same values, interest and even have the same quirks. We make each other laugh and grew a great bond fast. I did let him now- due to health reasons I had to get my tubes removed for my safety. I am still able to have children- it just will be a process. But it is still very much possible. He said that it was a deal breaker and then treated me like I was a stranger. He solidified my insecurities on the matter and now I feel like no one will ever want me.

[ohsheeT]

in life when things like this happen the first thing we do is we look at it the wrong way try looking at it the other way try looking at it like. it happened for a reason it happened just to prove to you that there are people out there that will love you and love you

it also proved to you that this isn't the guy for you because his love for himself is deeper than it can be for anybody else

the right guy for you he would have stuck it out if he was deeply in love with you this guy was not so you're actually the lucky one because he blew it and could have had a good girl.. and he's the one that should be feeling bad you should be happy and thank the guy for ending it now instead of waiting 10 years from now don't look at things so

and think back in your life everything that you thought that was bad that happened to you if you think back 0n it wasn't it almost a blessing that it happened something good came out of it it's the same thing as this.. as a matter of fact how good is your memory how long have you been on here cuz I bet you a dollar that one day you will meet a guy and he will have had his tubes tied it will be something like that and you'll fall deeply in love and then you'll have to come back on here and send me my dollar. thank you and smile it will happen for you

[Drew-1990]

That is honestly ridiculous in my mind. You can still have kids, it would be different if you could not at all. But even then he should have been nicer about it. It's fine to have deal breakers but treat the person as a human being. I personally would have no problem dating you knowing it. The possibility isn't gone just more work but a great woman is worth the extra work.

[Summeroflove]

I am guessing you aren’t compatible. I’m sorry to hear that. But. Hopefully you will find someone else. He shouldn’t be a dick about it. But it’s better for him to be honest in a nice way. Then lead you on.


It does not mean no man will want you in the future. Everyone gets rejected for one reason or another.

[Saiesh30]

I'm sorry you had an awful experience.
He, however was just one of probably millions. So, don't lose hope. He who will actually love you, will accept you for everything. Irrespective of any flaws he'll be with you.
That dude bailing out, just means his attraction towards you wasn't pure enough.
There's nothing wrong with you. As a matter of fact, we all are imperfect. Those who embrace each other's imperfections, make a perfect couple. 😊

[Saiesh30]

Just a suggestion to kinda prevent future heartbreak is to let the potential guy be aware of it before hand. As in slip in through the conversation early enough before things get serious.

[Dutchgirl97]

Yes I agree

[Saiesh30]

Yep. You're perfect 😇

[molonski2]

Well , I do apologise that he acted this way , but at the same time , he is a young guy and his is an important issue for him , he wants children easily , it would have been worse , if he dragged things out and then discarded you.

Was it necessary to tell him so soon?

[Dutchgirl97]

I try to tell things as soon as possible so that it doesn’t hurt as much. He did drag things out too. Then after I told him that he didn’t even want to be my friend and treated me like I had no value

[molonski2]

I wouldn't have told him , too early in my view..
I wouldn't worry about the " Friends " thing , that never really happens in life , as you know..

[Dutchgirl97]

Well I felt as though it was respectful to let him now early before there was even more feelings. I also wanted to see if it was something that was important to him so that I wouldn’t waste his time.

[molonski2]

I can well understand the reasoning , and its extremely honest , and its not even that bad a thing , but if I were you I'd be holding back a bit until later on. :)
I got caught with this stuff a couple of times in my 30s ( I'd had a vasectomy quite early ) , I just didn't tell anyone after a while..
As issues arose when they had no reason to , I never had it reversed , and it was a great decision at the time.

[RebelinSteel]

I think he may have had dreams of full on sex leading to him having kids. The thing is lots of people are not able to conceive naturally and will need medical science to help. It’s always hard to know when to open up and tell someone something like this, earlier is good but telling someone you want their kids can make them run early as well. I am sure you will meet someone else, but this down to experience a thing to learn from.

[Kaneki05]

For every 1 good guy there is 100 bad ones try not let the bad ones get to you. It's on them for making you feel insecure but you have to move on and remind one self he's in the wrong not you.
And the way he treated you, is just an example of how he would treat his theoretical future kids so you should be happy you dodged that bullet. If he had any serious liking towards you he would of treated you much better even if he still saw it as a dealbreaker.

[ChicoFromThe305]

Fine I'll admit, you got me with the thumbnail there

Either ways it seems like he must have really had having kids on his list, but just cause one guy did it doesn't mean every guy will, if you can still have children I don't think you have anything to worry about

[BoopBoopBeep]

Lots of us are voluntarily child free. 20% of people last I checked. You'll do fine.

[Filthy_Immigrant]

he's just one guy, dont let his ignorance slow you down. anyways if he can't understand your health then him no longer being into you is nothing but a good riddance

[NYCQuestions1976]

You can't let one failed connection discourage you. You're still young and have ample time to find someone.

[RHK36]

It's unfortunate, but just means he wasn't it. No point in dwelling on it or him, it's wasted time and energy.

[RavVid]

You may not be right for him and he may not be right for you. But it doesn't mean there is no one who isn't.

[Nice222]

He just wasn’t the right guy for you. Thankfully you found out now before the relationship went any further.

[Aussie_Daddy_Dom_83]

If he doesn't want you because you can have kids then did he really like/love you at all?

A real guy who likes/loves you will/would like/love you for you!

[ZameerAS]

Maybe he love kids, and want kids

[Dutchgirl97]

I have two kids.. and like I said I am still able to carry children but we would have to have a few extra steps in order for me to carry. My fertility from my ovaries are excellent and I would be able to easy carry children with IVF

[ZameerAS]

He want his kids from you.
Not your kids

[ZameerAS]

by the way are you married?

[Dutchgirl97]

That could still be possible is my point.

[Dutchgirl97]

Was married

[ZameerAS]

I don't know then

[Nik1hil]

🤣🤣 He thought you were a man

[Dutchgirl97]

No I’m a pretty chick lol

[Nik1hil]

He probably Misunderstood.

Just ask him to meet you once and explain what he understood..
Make it clear you are not asking for patching up or continue relationship..
If he understood everything correctly then it's okay..

Then he probably wanted to leave and this was a pretty damn good excuse.. don't get stuck on him.. jump on to the next man.. and keep this thing clear from the start