Long story short: I hurt someone I was really good friends with for a long time because he liked me but I didn't like him back. Months have passed and I realized I love him but he doesn't want to talk to me. I just want him to know I love him and I don't know what to do. Today he stared at me so we made eye contact for a really long time but I didn't know if that was good or bad but I then tried talking to him & he refused so Ig there's my answer.
For details and venting purposes: This guy and I had been friends for 3 years. In a span of a couple of months, he said he liked me, we went out on a date, & kissed. However, I friendzoned him a day after. He was really hurt and we didn't talk for months. I messed around with a couple guys to try to forget him but I obviously failed and that only made me realize what I had lost because I can't find a similar connection with anybody else. Half a year has passed and I haven't gotten over him. I messaged him a couple months ago but it ended badly. I gave him space then tried contacting him again recently. This happened: And I did... but today, our whole senior class took a panoramic picture outside school and I was in line, he was already standing on the bleachers before taking the picture. I caught him staring at me and turned away. I look back and he was still staring, we kept eye contact for about 10 seconds, I'm the one who had to break it off. He looked kind of angry, maybe he was just pensive but it made me feel some type of way. So I go look for him in his Art class and ask him to give me a minute. He says "nah" again (which I personally think it's just him trying to seem careless) I said "give me one reason not to talk" as he closed the classroom door on my face while making eye contact and saying something I didn't quite understand & I'd be lying if I said it didn't hurt me. I just wanted to tell him I love him so that in case I die tomorrow or something, he'll know, but I was avoiding telling him through text, ofc.
Updates
+1 y
I know I typed too much and that I sound like a crazy person. I never beg people, trust me, I just really do love him and I've realized my pride won't get me anywhere.
Updates
+1 y
http://imgur.com/0BYSCMn Well, this is clearly over. It hurts even more than I expected but at least I got the closure I needed now.
I mean, I know I might seem like a shitty, messed up person but sometimes people deserve second chances. Eh, I'll be alright.
Write him a heartfelt note apologizing and saying you want to meet him at (this) place at (this) time and NOT telling him you love him, and give it in person and walk away. Just say you're sorry, say you think he shouldn't have deserved this. But I think you're feeling mirror syndrome combined with high-school environmental puberty. You broke his heart, he probably cried, and you took him for granted. If this is you wanting something because he's being an asshole to you now, you need to grow up. Don't you dare confess something to him if you're not sure. But if you seriously love him, if you feel hurt because you hurt him and how that mustve made him feel and not because you have a crush on some kid who doesn't like you back anymore, woman the fuck up. Don't ask him for a second of his time, tell him to his face wherever he is at the time, "I'm sorry, you're a really good guy, even if we can't be friends I think I was wrong back then to turn you down and it took me some time to see that yeah I do feel that way too." Note that this is my opinion, please be certain that you're not playing with his feelings. If you have a connection though, chase it. You're young so I'm gonna give you some life advice, take what you love, and don't take it for granted, not when you're angry at him, not when he breaks your heart, or even during the small moments. You're going to doubt yourself and your abilities, but when you have someone you love and who loves you honestly, life isn't that bad. The only downside is that when someone you love feels pain or hurt, you feel it too. Have courage, you can do this. You're a girl but women aren't given enough credit. You're strong, you're brave by nature and you have something on your mind. So go do it.
1
0 Reply
Most Helpful Opinions
Anonymous
(45 Plus)
+1 y
You ever think the guy knows about you history of STDS and messing around with other guys that he doesn't want be part of being with you. I'm sorry for sounding harsh but just yesterday you was looking for a way to get tested for STDS?
Maybe the guy is staying away for a reason and he knows better than to get involved i know this is harsh but we all have reasons you rejected him cause you wanted to piss with guys who just want sex from you and nothing else you have a repeated history only you can change.
Well, you definitely took him for granted and hurt him, a lot of girls are guilty of doing what you did, I'm not gonna call you a bad person or bash you like most people on here, because I'm sure all of them have made mistakes too.
The good news is, negative emotions are better than indifference, so you might still have a chance, but you gotta not contact him anymore for at least a month. Post happy things on your social media, show him you're moving on, fake-it-till-you-make-it, but dont over-do it. Take care of yourself and look good. He'll start wondering how you're moving on and how happy you are, and might turn around. If he once had feelings for you and found you super attractive, then it's not unlikely that you can spark those feelings back in time, just stop acting like a crazy person lol.
Grace, don't do this, it will make you miserable. The guy doesn't want anything to do with you, you gotta accept that and move on. Doing all this with the hopes of him liking you back is gonna make you miserable, because you're gonna spend your life doing something that will lead to nothing, because he's done with you. What you need to do is move on. Accept what you did and forget about him.
Write everything you are thinking and feeling for him down in a letter and mail it to him with no name from the sender on the envelope. Sign your name at the bottom of the letter though. He'll get it and read it. What he does after that point is up to him, but at least he got everything you wanted to say.
You have to move on. He's not only over you, but he's still mad at you and doesn't want to listen to you. Just cut your loss. I know it hurts but your just digging a deeper hole. Move on, you'll be better off.
Trust me, you don't 'love' him. You are infatuated with him.
You rejected on the notion that you didn't find him attractive. What later attracted you was the fact he didn't put you on the pedestal and he showed that he doesn't 'need' you and so he moved on. This caught your interest.
You then thought to yourself, "Why isn't he giving me attention anymore? I thought he liked me? Let me reassure myself that I am right..."
So you messaged him thinking he would be receptive to you but he didn't bite. This leaves you frustrated that he no longer desires you as much as you now do. This makes him even more attractive to you (where the infatuation builds up even more). You know crave his attention even more. You come off as needy to him which shows to him he was right in his decision to leave you alone.
Perhaps you did fall hard for him. But don't mistake that for 'love'. You instincts were probably right when you rejected him first time of how he came across to you intially. I hope he learns his lesson as well because they fact he was just living life made him more attractive.
What happened here ms, is that you took him for granted and wanted nothing to do with him when he wanted something. Time passed and the tables turned around... but now he wants nothing to do with you, respectively speaking. A lot of women take the guy for granted and go with the ones that they never should of been with since the beginning. Time might spare you because your still very young... and if i were you, i will just give him time to see if he might turn around things. But be weary though, because guys might forgive, but they dont forget, good luck with everything.
Pictures from January, so this is way dragged out? Also you said you gave him space but then stopped at some point haha
If the decision is moving on, do it, sounds like you're making it worse for both of you. But from the little information I can glean from this it seems like neither of you really want to move on.
I don't know why you want to avoid telling him how you really feel by text? Just be honest with him, he want talk to you, text him. Or just corner him and pour your heart out to him. The situation should be resolved one way or the other !
You really think so? I mean, why else would he have done that, right?
Oh & I wanted to avoid telling him through text because I usually don't know how to properly articulate my feelings through text and end up messing up. (The time I said I messaged him but it ended badly, I told him I missed him and when he asked why, I just responded "I don't know, I never really miss people") you feel me?
Yeah, can't see why else You said elsewhere you had legitimate reasons for friendzoning him?
Really? I find it can be easier because you have time to think but emotion is obviously severely lacking. I suppose you have time to talk ourself out of things too
So you pussied out haha Ahhh you must've hurt him bad, I thought he'd come round if you swallowed your pride !
Maybe he does have big balls to say no, not that I know any detail. But he's not really staying away completely
Wow Grace mate, you messed up! But not so much with the rejection, the "I love you" when he gave you a chance to text him what you wanted to say. Now I know it's hard to have your dear friend seem like he hates you RIGHT NOW, but i do believe if you give him time he will come around.
It's very hard to toss away a solid 3 year friendship. Especially if it meant something special, and clearly it did since he found himself falling in love with you and you him. But the rejection is still what his mind is set on and so he needs to hate you for now to not feel total humiliation and embarrassment. I was once there myself, it sucked real real bad.
But give him his space, allow him to hurt and feel the anger towards you until he's done. And he'll see the friend he once had again I'm sure :). Don't fret to much mate.
While I still don't think you got closure, I do think he will come around. A girl hated my guts for a year... and returned, hated my guts. So anything can happen.
If I were him, it's not the rejection that'd phase me so much but you messing around with other guys... yeah that'll end any feelings real quick.
What happened right after you rejected him? I find this incomplete. Your next sentence says you messed around with other guys to forget him... if you liked him, why were you trying to forget him? Makes no sense.
Right after I rejected him, we had several long, deep conversations. Some of them in which he was angry, then sad, then it seemed like he'd forgiven me, it was so crazy.
I saved my virginity for him. (Just when I couldn't sound even crazier hah) And well I was trying to forget him because I knew he wouldn't give me another chance.
(1.) You do not "love" him. You LUST for him. You can't just drop somebody like that and suddenly love them. (2.) Get over it. He's obviously not interested anymore, you had your chance and it's over. There is millions of men in the world.
Well, that's what happens when you lead someone on and then go around with other guys. I feel sorry for the guy, but glad he is moving on, even though it seems he's not completely over you, but at least he's trying. I hope this serves you as a lesson on what NOT to do in the future. Treat people how you want to be treated.
Damn, now I know how some girls thought I was crazy. Lol, but seriously, if you really like him that much, say "I'll give you a blowjob". "I want to blow you". It might just work
I'm speaking as a dude who feels empathy for this guy. I've had two or three girls who friendzoned me only to be interested later. Too late. You don't get to just bash someone down like that and think it's all good when you want it to be. The only way these girls, such as yourself, could have made it up to me is by showing how much they're willing to go to make it up to me, such as what I have recommended you offer him. Not only does it fit girls like you who curb dudes and then pathetically come crawling back later, but it's the one thing that can make it up to him.
Yeah the old you are such a great friend and I don't want to lose you kind of thing. Truth be told that's basically a friendship break up. Without you realizing that is what you're doing.
Basically when you say something like that It sends up a flag that basically says to us bullshit if I was that important you would give me a shot or something like that
Look at it this way you're too young to know that your "type" is just a fun phase then later you realize you need connection and loyalty things like that. So I'd keep it in mind when you finish your fun and find someone you enjoy time with that much again
Wait for him to calm down. I know that if a woman doesn't like me at first but starts to like me later on, I'm not going to date her because if there is no physical attraction, there is no point in dating that person.
I mean the first part, you said you know if a girl doesn't like you at first, then later on likes you, you're not gonna date her, but there was no continuation, like of course no one would date someone they aren't physically attracted to, are you saying you're going to give that girl the time of day if she rejected you before? and next question you're gonna give a girl you're not physically attracted to a chance?
I don't know if there's a whole lot you can do. You probably hurt him pretty bad and it most likely took him a lot of effort to get over you. He's scared you might hurt him again or is trying to get back at you.
You said you where friends for a while. Did you know him as a vindictive person.
Well i am a guy, i am suffering from this situation... Actually the thing is what it all matters is the SINCERITY, if one person is not giving the position that the second person deserves there is destruction then.
In my opinion you should meet him by face and apologize for what you've done in past and ensure him that you will wait for him and his answer. I know he will reply for sure 😊 Good Luck 👍
1
0 Reply
Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
oh I love reading stories like this. the girl who took what she had for granted by leaving the guy who loved her later to ''sleep with other guys'' to get over with it, and now realizes the whoring mistakes she has made. What a crappy person you are to hurt him like that. sorry but, you had this coming to you.
its not.. I'm serious.. I do think your crazy but we (guys) love women who are crazy for us.. trust me n do as I told you.. he'll actually take you back... just put your ego aside... and who would say no to pizza?
if a guy you weren't interested in kept trying to talk to you when you didn't want to talk to him you would brand him as creepy and stalkerish... don't be that person
you already have the answer, you love him. i can see from the conversation you with each othe, thase the most important reason you keep this relationship.
I created this profile last night to know why this refuse of girl, that I had yesterday with one girl from California. and because I don't have any experience too
Most Helpful Opinions