I asked out a friend, she said no, what now?

[Anonymous]

So I asked out a girl I have known for a year and she told me "she was still dealing with breaking up with her old boyfriend". Normally I would understand and wait a little while but it had already been a month and a half and she had gone on dates with other guys already.

Asking her out was a little hard for me because I am quite the shy guy but I believe I played it cool and when I got my answer, I smiled said I understand and we talked for a bit more and said good night. A few days later I got a text from her seeing if I was coming out later that week to hang out with the group and we had a friendly conversation. We have continued to hang out over the weeks in groups or just the two of us cooking each other dinner (we both love cooking) and have continued to be friendly without a hitch. I still think I am getting signals but now I'm not sure if I am just misinterpreting them.

I have had a crush on her for while now but could never ask her out because she was seeing someone else, but we have always got along great and have a ridiculous amount of things in common. She's one of the few girls I feel I can really connect with because we have so much in common and agree on many things. I always felt I was getting signals from her when we would hang out and she would always complain about her boyfriend in front of me, although we would be hanging out as a group and she would be with her best friend most of the time.

This has really started to drive me crazy over these few weeks and I don't know what to do, I don't want to cut off the relationship completely because I still enjoy her as a friend but I want more from her and being around her is both fun and disappointing. I am worried I am starting to hang out with her more because I am interested in her as woman than a friend and that's just not fair to her if she isn't interest in me.

What should I do? Should I wait it out a bit and ask again? Or should I just stop seeing her altogether? Or should I just keep hanging out with her and try to forget about my feelings?

[intra]

You have incresed the mental attraction with her to the point that you want to enter into a romantic relationship with her. She doesn't feel the same. Give her time to think about it, she might get used to the idea, you have excellent mental attraction as she does too, but she is not tempted to to enter into a romantic relatoinship yet, what you need to do is increase the sexual tension between you, but look at her body language how she reacts to what you do, the down side is that even if you succeed and the relationship ends usually the friendships ends too, or she rejects you and you start acting weird and the relationship ends, or you laugh it off and work through it you need to prepare yourself for the possiblities, and how you will salvage the friendship if it comes to that.

Geting out of the friendzone... link

[m00se]

i just went through more or less the same thing, guy. I don't have any advice for you. nobody has any pertinent advice for me, but all I can say is well done for manning up and asking her. it was difficult for me. but, its done. that weird uncomfortably feeling of liking her and not doing anything is out the way now. you tried, you lost. what I'm doing is trying my darndest to stay friends, without changing anything. it isn't easy, but nothing in life that is easy is worth it.

[Tamikaze]

How long has it been since she said no to your question to go out? I would wait several weeks, if not a month since that time, but the next time I asked her out I would just put my cards on the table and ask her if she really isn't ready to date or just not interested in us as more than friends. Tell her it's alright if she does not want more than friendship, you just want a straight answer so you can move on from thinking this is a possibility.