Early dates are all about us being able to talk to each other and get to know each other - and while there's going to be some small talk, I mostly mean getting to know each other's morals, values, and life-goals. Those things need to be discussed early on - as boring or tedious as they might sometimes be to talk about - and that means you have to have lots of talking time.
So, I try to plan at least one fun activity (my girlfriend has discovered darts at the pool hall, but we've also been bowling a couple of times, and we've seen some live music), some food or snack, and also some pure talking time in those early dates.
Sometimes you start hitting red flags right from the start, and you never get beyond the first or second date, but sometimes you get lucky and you find someone who you match well with, and you WANT to keep spending time with them. I don't get all that romantic until we've been on at least 3 dates, because I want to make sure I want to invest that kind of energy into her, and if I don't, I don't want to mislead her. If we make it that far, then I do start ramping up the romance gradually.
It's usually pretty obvious by the third date if the girl wants the DATE more, or if she's more concerned about spending time with ME more - you want the latter, not the former, but if you can find that, then it's definitely time to be more romantic.
Most Helpful Opinions
- u
When I was still dating, I would ask her to dinner at a nice restaurant. At the end of the date, if it felt right, I would give her a good night kiss. I would text her about 30 minutes later to make sure she arrived home safely, to tell he that I had a great time, and that I would call her again soon. And then I would call the next day or two days later.
A second date would be like a repeat of the first date. I was aware that I was a stranger to this woman and she needed to spend a bit of time around me before she felt safe, so we would meet at the restaurant for the second. This may sound boring, but this is how it works for my generation.
By the third date, I would ask about picking her up at her house. The date might be a concert, go to the zoo, or the beach, depending on the weather. Somewhere between the third and fifth date, I would tell her that I dated in hopes of finding a long term partner and the best way to get to know someone is to date them exclusively, so. . . I was prepared to date her exclusively if she felt the same way, and if she didn't, she would tell me. We either stopped dating or I agreed to give her more time before she mad her decision.
Building a connection involves being genuine, respectful, and showing interest in her thoughts and feelings. Plan thoughtful dates, listen actively, and communicate openly to create a meaningful connection.
- always make time to see me every day
- showers me with little surprises like my favourite coffee
- eager to know more about me
- invites me to hang out and spend time together
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
63Opinion
Talk to her, make a connection and then find ways to spend time together.
I just asked her out very casually. Then on dates, hold hands, talk a lot, try to deeply connect. I always connected the emotional and physical together so I never tried to kiss a woman unless we were deeply connecting, except one time (with my wife).
With my wife on our first date, I was so confused because we were close friends for so long. So we were connecting emotionally but we always did that as just friends, so I couldn't figure out when I'm supposed to kiss her or touch her. Like usually I would generally reach out a hand to hold, or touch her knee, or kiss, when she was laughing and smiling and we were deeply connecting through the conversation. Yet with her, I was so perplexed since we always did that so I didn't know if that was my cue to make a move or not.
So at the end of a relatively uneventful date with her, I was in the elevator and thought, "Screw it!" and jammed the emergency stop button. Then I walked up to her and kissed her very gently. She kissed me back, so, phew, that gamble worked out! That's the only time I kissed a woman out of the blue like that.
I tap them on the shoulder, giggle, and then run away.
Or I avoid contact and act very shy, and fumble all over my words (the ones I can merely squeak out). One of these days, the plan is going to work like gangbusters.
Well, I ask them out for coffee or something small and simple. We meet for the first few dates at least... maybe in a few weeks I drive, or she does. We go on some dates. We just spend time together. One relationship, the girl often came to my side of town, though I would have done the same for her. We do things for each other. Sex (or even just making out) is not a part of the equation early on, though yes, attraction is a part of it. One girl, we met some of each other's family (They hated me (for some reason), and mine hated her (though they would have hated ANYONE). I just try to take each date a day at a time. I've tried a little affection if the date is going well (or I think it is)... holding hands, gently bump into her, hands on the back through the doors I open for them, etc. But this has not always gotten a good response, so...I remember I did like somebody in grade 8 I feel kind of silly about it now though I didn't buy her flowers on her birthday. I got rejected a few times by her. Looking back on that experiencing that stuff now Jesus Christ I must have been annoying 😂 I feel so bad about it now
Pretty much everything the "alpha top tier men" say not to do lol. One of the first dates my wife and I had was a picnic in the woods. I made all the food a little salad got a blanket and a basket got her a bouquet of flowers, opened the door for her etc. We are now married meanwhile those same "alpha top tier men" are single or stringing girls together like they making chainmail. Typically I find that the best advice comes from those who are at the finish line not those who can't even get the race started
It depends on multiple factors, most significantly on whether she likes me back. If she does not... I guess it's best to give up, sanity is in shortage these days. If she does... Well, if a woman came to like me of all people, she'd most definitely be the one and only for me. Thus, I would put all my strengths to good use. I would attempt to meet up with her as frequently as possible, trying different locations for the meet-ups in order to find out what kind of environments she's comfortable with, which ones she likes best, and which ones make her uneasy. Other than that... I'd just be myself. I'm not a good actor, so it's no use pretending to be someone I'm not.
First things first, I try to learn more about her interests and hobbies, likes and dislikes, etc.
No sense presenting her with a bundle of roses and then find out that she doesn't like flowers or worse, she's allergic to them! Second thing, talk with her and try to engage her on said interests and likes - if we share them that's a big plus, otherwise if I'm not familiar with them I express my interest and listen to her talking about them and maybe even ask her to explain them to me. Genuine interest goes a long a way.
Then set up dates and outings to know each other better. If there's chemistry, things usually evolve by themselves.
being prepared before hand.
i either learn as much about her as i can either from researching or observations or from her female friends (which i either befriend myself or already was been friends)
or i have girls play matchmaker for me.
so either way when i was makingmy moves i was already well informed and have been talked about highly and i already knew she was interested or not in me.
there isa thin line between idiocity and courage, only a fool goes to hunt without being prepared.
I think it depends on how you interact. Some things feel right with one girl but possibly not with another. Some girls are very susceptible to sweet nothings and gestures and others are not so susceptible.
If I am keen i would carefully choose a cafe that will impress her, possibly expensive, as a gesture of my interest.
At a point I am likely to give her flowers and repeat that. That is something of a character test in fact. Is she appreciative each time? A fair part of courting is sussing out the girl. At first all you know is how she looks and her manner but nothing of her character.
When you take her to a low end cafe she could be disgruntled or just as happy.
😌 I don't know how but words seem to come naturally when I love a woman. It's so weird and I am grateful whenever I talk to a woman they almost always love my way of words. And I will be honest it takes two to tango and I am attracted to humble type of woman. Just they act weak and let me feel in charge. I enjoy it too. It's so sweet and beautiful when women do it.
Honestly, I am weary of sweet talkers though. Only problem I am attracted to women in their mature age and they are always attracted to me 😞. Only problem I want to have children of my own.
I try to plan things for when we have time together that allows us enjoy what little time we have on the weekends and occasionally during the week. It usually involves getting outside then snuggling at one of our places and winding down. On the weekend I may suggest heading to the pub for a beverage and/or grabbing a late dinner. I sometimes bring flowers, chocolate, and I draw/make cards that tell her how important she is to me.
Apparently I say something awkward and run away because I donno what to do.
I tracked her down and called her on the phone and asked her out. She just accepted a job out of state and was leaving in a couple of days so she said no. I ran into her a month later and we decided that maybe we would try to date. She only live a 5 hour ride away. Maybe 4 and a half if I really pushed it.
Be caring
Give little surprise gifts
Be funny
Be there for her
Actually try to understand her
Make her feel special particularly around other girls
Courtship is often considered a waste of time & effort.
However, to me, it's treasured.
I show her interest and I guess so nice things for her. Depending on if she appreciates it, and it isn’t one sided. Where I’m doing everything and she isn’t courting me back. I usually tend to move on.
It’s unfortunate the men (and women) who are in one sided relationships and they just think that’s the way it’s supposed to be. Maybe their mom yelled at their dad a lot and he just started giving in and happy wife happy life.
If there's one thing dating taught me it's to stop paying attention to the person I find attractive and give some attention to the person that finds me attractive. That other pretty person DGAF about me anyway so it's a waste of time and energy on them. There's always someone else who does find me attractive and throughout my life I should have focused on them.
Nowadays Idek. Everything for me in the past has been HS/college/military drunken and or drug filled behaviors of passion that eventually led to something.
Now that I don't want to do that anymore I'm honestly having a hard time, especially since I think I want to wait until marriage to have sex again. I know most girls won't be pleased with that.
I've seen sooo many different approaches but many can work and be really cute after all!! Some guys are more romantic, others are funny, others just have a great aura. But there's one fundamental thing that should never be missing (and I know it's sad but it needs to be said!) and that's respect. If a man isn't respectful he doesn't even have to try!
Get to know them and liatwn to their passions. Be the person they feel comfortable around that they can open up to without feeling judgement. If we click, we click. if we don't, then friendship.
Things don't have to be super complicated when it comes to romance and the best relationships, are best friends with romantic benefits.
Learn more
We're glad to see you liked this post.
You can also add your opinion below!