If you wouldn't date a single mother or father, what would be your reason, for not wanting to?

[Extraterrestrial1999]

Just not up for the responsibility, right now

Scared of potential conflict with their baby mom/dad

I wanna have my own kids, so let's say if they already have 2, that could be overwhelming, especially if we got married

Something else

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

I think the top reason when I was single was if the kids don't accept me.

The one time I got close to dating a single mother (widow) started when I really started to love the kids and they accepted me. They were half-American and half-Japanese just like me and I really started to enjoy hanging out with them.

The boy even asked me to start dating his mother and that tugged at the heart strings a bit. The problem was that I really don't think I was compatible with their mother even though I really loved her kids. She was quite a wild woman into partying (how I came to meet the kids in the first place; she brought them at midnight into a bar).

Yet I deeply considered it. That's also the only time I'd consider dating a single mother is if I really connected and got along with her kids first.

I ended up just babysitting the kids for her back then while she went on dates. Thankfully she found a really good guy she was compatible with and married him. They're now young adults; this was around 20 years ago. I used to joke with the mother that I'd pay a large sum of money to have one of her kids and she used to joke back that she'd give me them for free. 😅

But not being accepted by the kids would be the main reason I wouldn't date a single mother and being accepted by the kids is the main reason I would. My parents divorced when I was young and my mother brought all kind of weird guys into my home, including ones that really didn't get along with me and/or my sister. I didn't want to be one of those weird guys to the kids. So it was even more important that the kids got along with me than the mother.

[DarkLegacy]

Two those options are among my reasons for not wanting to, i want my own kids of course and conflict with kids and mother/father. Also it is not natural to want to raise someone elses kids as reflected in the animal world.

And im not having women thinking they can bag the good/sensible/nice guy after spending their prime fucking around with alpha/bad guys. This usually what causes the single mums along with those only getting kids to obtain social security and housing. That is disgusting. Women who go with the alpha/bad guys never deserve a good guy.

[DarkLegacy]

Also you also have to consider that you will never be put first in such a relationship.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Well, I could try it if I really liked the guy.

But I wouldn’t like to get to know their children early on, unless I am sure I won’t be leaving that man, because if I get to know children, I’ll develop a bond with them, and I’ll have more than one reasons to stay. I’ll feel guilty - to leave…

So, I’d not like that responsibility of meeting up his children, unless we were already very serious.

[PeachyPie93]

I would if the guy was married to the mother and they divorced. If he just has a baby momma (s) I don't think I would. The reason being he doesn't seem mature if he is off having babies with anyone.

[Avicenna]

I want to put my time into my own kids, not someone else's.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

How do you expect dating childless women at your age? 🤷🏻‍♀️

[Avicenna]

@LaFemmeFatale_1: Either their kids are grown up, they don't have them, or I date a younger woman.

[lightbulb27]

History is full of people taking on others kids, even orphans. I did that and am a step father. There's tradeoffs to taking on others kids and variables if you have your own kids, which I don't. I'd look if you have the heart to care for others kids. If not, move on.

There's no guarantees with your own kids either. I've seen parents with their own kids that are in a real fix of a mess. With step kids, ya kinda know what you have and opportunity to improve it.

Obvious risks:

They aren't yours, if something happens to mom, you probably lose the kids to their real dad.

Conflicts with x spouse.

You are probably 2nd fiddle or 3rd, you don't replace dad... some loss of control and influence.

There are positives as well.

[tremendousfern]

I would date a single mother, but I would be very careful and proceed with caution with her. I've met about a dozen single mothers in my life, and all of them were drugged up losers in one form or another. Whether it was anxiety meds or weed or alcohol or meth or something else.

Many women carry baggage with them from previous relationships and there is no baggage that screams "mental/emotional/personality issues" more than single motherhood.

[Phoenix98]

Lot of reasons why.

1# I don't want to.

2# Don't want to deal with a kid that ain't mine

3# Don't want to possibly cause issues for the father in regards to his kid

4# I would rather have my own kids rather then having to take responsibility for someone else's.

5# Around here single mothers are usually single mothers for a reason

[LiamJHayden]

I have dated some single mothers and decided against dating others. If the child (ren) are brats, there is baby daddy drama, four kids from four different guys, and the such I steer clear. If she's widowed, or was abandoned or cheated on, or she adopted a deceased sibling's or friend's offspring then I am more open.

[CVNT5]

I want my own kids, also why is she a single mom. where is the Biological parent of her kids. id understand if he was deceased but if not, where is he? the real dad of those kids is either in prison, paying child support or just abandoned the kids. she might be the issue and if she made a bad judgement on the first one, she might just be looking for a guy to leach off from and not a husband.

[JacobJordan]

My money is for my kids not someone else's. Also why would I raise another man's children because he or the mom couldn't be bothered to stay together despite being willing to have children. No thanks

[Drew-1990]

I would date a single mother but I would need to know why she is a single mother. Some reasons I would expect and have zero issues with. Then there are reasons I'm saying no too

[DizzyDesii]

I tried it but that child was bad af and he always looked to me to discipline her because he didn't want to look like the villain. Like nah thats your kid

[aceleon]

i don't wanna date a fucked girl or raise another guys kids if it isnot an adoptive kid of my own, i also don't wanna fuck any guys mother.

[Nikki1989]

Some people can't even look after themselves, let alone kids, but doesn't say much for them.

[SolitarySolace]

Not my kids, not my responsibility and god knows she’d put all of that responsibility on me. And don’t tell me all women wouldn’t do that. Thats absolute bullshit

[BonzoInBitburg]

I only dated women who didn't have kids and wanted to travel instead of having kids. I don't want kids in my house

[bobalife]

I'm open unless they have unfinished business with their babymamas or have more than one...

[IslaTheWitch]

there is no chemistry between us. We are not compatible. His kids don't accept me

[HelpfulWoman]

I wouldn't because I'd have my own kids and I know I can't handle more.

[Mia230]

I've tried it was too many stipulations mainly can't go put because no babysitter or the baby mother not being nice

[itsclearlynicholas]

A. I just don't want offspring and she's already yeah physically she's just probably yeah cringe 😹😬😬😬

[LazerBean]

Just not interested in the extra damage and drama that I would have to deal with.

[Peridot25]

For one thing, I don’t want the responsibility of taking care of kids. I don’t want to be mom or stepmom.

[HotLentilzzz]

I dont wanna come second to a kid that isn't even mine. I want to be his priority.

[Miah04]

I'm too young to be a momma at the moment. I wanna have kids on my own terms when i am ready

[Anonymous]

I don't want to come second to another guy's kid. I don't want to end up liking the kid, or even loving the kid and then we break up and I never see the kid again.

[SotiCoto]

Because it is illegal to do the Lion thing and kill the other guy's offspring.

[Shiningtempest]

I don't want to subject their kid (s) to pain of failed relationships again. Thus, I can't date a single parent under any circumstances.

[KrakenAttackin]

Why would any man of value date a single for anything but recreation.

[Anonymous]

As a man, having my own kids is a big enough minefield. I'm not going to choose to subject myself to that for another man's kids.

[Kelley1]

Why would I date a guy with a major flaw?

[jahaims]

Zero reason to take damaged extra baggage

[DarkLegacy]

Lol good comment, i hope it does not get removed like a comment of similar nature that i posted once.

[JHAYES317]

Don’t want to deal with kids now

[BarryLiverstone]

That I’m not attracted to her

[NathanDavis]

I have...

[Dinklex3]

The first two

[slatyb]

All of the above