I met this guy on a dating app. We've dated twice and then I left his country. Fast forward to now, we've been talking to each other online for 6 months, and finally I'm coming back in around 25 days. We once both deleted our dating apps (exclusive dating, yet not a relationship), but since last week, he went back to it.
He said "I'm interested still, otherwise I wouldn't be talking to you. I'm looking forward to date 3 and I see no reason to go on other dates if it still clicks. He also said "I haven't talked to anyone on the dating apps nor dated anyone, but it feels better to feel confined to just this right now. The thought of you keep staying in your country and it's so insecure and it's been so long, it feels weird to aim all arrows on something like that."
I now understand where this comes from, and I choose to believe his words. However, to be honest, it bothers me when he's swiping and maybe matching with girls on dating apps. I wonder if I'm asking too much? I just don't like the fact when he said he misses me etc yet still on dating apps even if he's talking to no one and has no intention to date others.
Like if we're gonna date again and he doesn't care about talking to others on dating apps, why can't he just delete the apps?
If you were me, what would you do?
Thanks
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Good lord you've been on two dates and you act like you own him.
How would you know this unless you went back to it as well.
He told me about it lol. I mean at first he went back because he thought I blocked him and got mad, but then he's been on it for 1 week.
Well he owned up to the fact that he went back. That speaks volumes right there. And he went back because as you said he thought you blocked him. Understand how common this is for men on dating sites. This will seemingly be going well and out of the blue women will block and ghost you. I know you as a woman want a guy to think of you and only you. But without good reason to a guy simply cannot afford to.
Now having said that, he knows now you haven't blocked him. If you want him to be commited to you you can make an ultimatum to him to stop using the site. But keep in mind this is a two way street. If you want him to commit to you then you have to commit to you. If not, you cannot expect him to stop using this site. It's simply not fair to him. Women have the LUXURY of being able to focus on one guy. Guys do not have that luxury with women.
Thank you for your response. I understand what you mean...
Last week, it just happened that I deactivated my Instagram account, and then when I woke up and saw his messages, I learned he thought I blocked him. He told me he got mad and went back to the dating app for "distraction". I asked him if he would delete them, he said he hasn't made his choice yet. And now he's telling me he doesn't care about talking to people on dating apps, but it seems like he doesn't wanna delete them.
I just don't get if he has no intention to date or talk to anyone on there, why does he need to keep using it? I tried to make an ultimatum, but I then unsent my messages. I'm not sure if I have the right to ask him to do that simply because I don't feel comfortable with his behavior or not because we're not in a relationship. But it still bothers me because when I mention about it over and over again, he feels I'm trying to create dramas. I really don't know if I'm doing something wrong...:'(
You have a RIGHT to make any ultimatum. And he has a right to tell you to go jump in the lake.
I can't know how things were before this. Maybe he was looking at other profiles before this happened. Maybe this actuated him to do this. I'm just telling you if guys had a nickel for everytime a girl was interested one minute and blocking him the next a guy would be rich.
To me it's really simple though. If you want an answer to this question you need to lay your cards on the table and see how he responds. I wouldn't tolerate a woman entertaining any other guys and I would expect the same from her. But if she's not committing to me I'm not committing to her.