found out my boyfriend, met with someone for coffee twice, 8 months into the relationship. Nothing further happened than just meeting up (confirmed). he never saw anyone else after that, but he after still casually used dating apps, messaging other women ( the convos were surface level, no sexting)
there is no excuse and he hasn’t tried to give me one, all he’s been saying is that he’s sorry, and was confused when he went for coffee but after realized that thats not what he wants, and never saw anyone again and was a coward to not telling me. as for the dating apps, after days and days of talking this is the gist on what he said. basically, he’s never been very confident with himself, and never was the “cool guy with the girls, and he’s never been in a relationship before and wasn’t some guy who goes out and hits on girls. So before me, he would just scroll through dating apps just to see who he would match with and just give one-liners but “not go further than that. when we were together, he said he would download once in a while do the same thing when he was bored. so my interpretation is the same way people use social media, to feel good about yourself, except its dating apps, but that's what hurts about it too, that he knew he was entertaining the idea of someone else, can’t even lie and say is just a friendly conversation, you're in a dating app, she’s not trying to be your friend. no excuse, I’m pretty sure everyone who is unfaithful is insecure for whatever reason. Though a lot of the relationship is ruined. we have gone through so much, and it had a really rough start. and he has shown me multiple times that he wants to work through our issues. so even now, since all this started now he wants to regain my trust, work on never hurting me again.
and I am someone who believes in second chances, I am willing to try and work things out, AFTER he shows me he’s willing to work for it, on himself and puts in the effort.
there is no excuse and he hasn’t tried to give me one, all he’s been saying is that he’s sorry, and was confused when he went for coffee but after realized that thats not what he wants, and never saw anyone again and was a coward to not telling me. as for the dating apps, after days and days of talking this is the gist on what he said. basically, he’s never been very confident with himself, and never was the “cool guy with the girls, and he’s never been in a relationship before and wasn’t some guy who goes out and hits on girls. So before me, he would just scroll through dating apps just to see who he would match with and just give one-liners but “not go further than that. when we were together, he said he would download once in a while do the same thing when he was bored. so my interpretation is the same way people use social media, to feel good about yourself, except its dating apps, but that's what hurts about it too, that he knew he was entertaining the idea of someone else, can’t even lie and say is just a friendly conversation, you're in a dating app, she’s not trying to be your friend. no excuse, I’m pretty sure everyone who is unfaithful is insecure for whatever reason. Though a lot of the relationship is ruined. we have gone through so much, and it had a really rough start. and he has shown me multiple times that he wants to work through our issues. so even now, since all this started now he wants to regain my trust, work on never hurting me again.
and I am someone who believes in second chances, I am willing to try and work things out, AFTER he shows me he’s willing to work for it, on himself and puts in the effort.
Updates
1 y
Sorry didn't finish.. the question is I don’t know what i’m suppose to be looking for.. we aren’t together.. what am I suppose to be looking for? I say effort.. but what does that mean.. and I know thats something I need to figure out for myself because it’s different for everyone but I still need some kind of example or something to guide me
