My guy friend doesn’t want me to date, because he thinks I’ll be hurt - What to do?

Question

My guy friend tells me.

“ A lot of men are players and you might get hurt, your heart needs protection. I know what men are like, because I am one - I don’t want that for you. People lie all the time.”

imtiaz45 · Accepted Answer

It's essential to communicate openly with your friend about your feelings and intentions. Express gratitude for their concern while asserting your autonomy in making decisions about your personal life. Assure them that you'll approach dating cautiously and value their support regardless of the outcome. Encourage them to share their specific concerns so you can address them together. Ultimately, prioritize your own happiness and well-being while respecting your friend's perspective. It's natural for friends to worry, but maintaining honesty and understanding can help navigate this situation and strengthen your friendship.

Mr_twoface · Accepted Answer

Isn't being hurt part of the journey to find your true partner? I feel going through that roller coaster of dating people, when you are totally excited and have butterflies to being in tears and sad, is necessary for any human being to have experienced because life in general is not all happy, awesome, moments! You need to be able to learn from your moments, both the good and bad, to overcome the next date and ups and downs in any relationship down the line.

As for your guy friend, he surely loves you, ways more than he expresses himself and hence is becoming this overprotecting friend. Something I used to do to a female friend of mine.

sheikalana · Accepted Answer

I understand what your friend is trying to say but you're 27 no one should have a say and what you should or shouldn't do in your life. If you read in between the lines he's trying to tell you to choose wisely and carefully do not fall for any guy who talks sweet to you.

7Phoenix7 · Accepted Answer

I have a close guy friend but he didn't discourage me to date out of fear of me getting hurt. He does offer support and advice from a caring/ loving place in his heart. Seems like your friend doesn't want you to date because he wants you to himself lol

coachTanthony · Answer

You sure he's a friend and not some beta male who is secretly in love with you selling you a bunch of horseshit?

Summeroflove · Answer

Not all men are like that. But he can’t control you. Hell maybe he even is into you and jealous. There is also a lot of bad women out there too. It goes both ways. There is good and bad in both sexes.

Finchie40 · Answer

If he is so concerned about you , why doesn’t he date you instead?

MrQun · Answer

Are you asking on how to deal with your overprotective friend?

Or are you asking on how to prevent getting with sleazy men and f@ckboys?

If it's the former, then I suggest that you sit him down and tell him that you are a fully grown woman who can make her own decisions. Tell him that your love life is none of his business and that he should only give his opinion if you ask for it. If he is a true friend as you claim, then he'll understand.

If it's the latter, then make your intentions with the man you are seeing early on. Maybe tell them that sex is off the table until you are comfortable. If he asks you, how long will that be, then run. Basically, state your intentions, have rules and boundaries and stick to them.

Levin · Answer

Guy shouldn't judge men by his own standards or his own deep-seated wounds.

But yes, getting hurt is part of the process of relationship. ie they always break down. As long as the start and middle is good, then it's all good.

We should also say, to give back a little responsibility. Women often make poor dating choices and ignore red flags. The red flags are often glaring. Women need to take some responsibility in the process of their own getting hurt.

DJB72 · Answer

If he's single you may want to consider that he may want to date you but doesn't know how to say it because he's in the "friend" zone - the place potential life partners go to die...

So go out for a drink with him and see what happens.

If he's in a relationship that's more of an issue.

The biggest issue is that he's right. Guys can be jerks in a group. I'm 52 in a month and my "peers" in a group are people I avoid. Especially when it's sports related.

BearKitty · Answer

"I don't want to be constantly lonely, I don't want that for me. When it comes to me and my desires, what I want will always come first and if I'm willing to risk my heart then that is up to me. You say people lie all the time, but it feels like your lying to me about men to keep me to yourself."

He seems controlling.

Joshydavid25 · Answer

Oh, Lord..

Ms_Facesitter · Answer

He is generalizing. My man hasn't hurt me yet. He's honest. Be careful with who you date, don't jump into a relationship. Don't be blinded by just love and you'll be fine.

ThisDudeHere · Answer

So what are you to do? Remain alone for the rest of your life? Dating, like basically any endeavor, such as simply going outside, is a risk. Our entire lives are just one contiguous string of risk-taking.

tremendousfern · Answer

Like @coachtanthony said what he really means is that he doesn't want you to date anybody but him, but he's too much of a beta simp to just come out and ask you.

IslaTheWitch · Answer

nothing. He has the right to his opinion. You have the right to live your life and make your own mistakes.

spartan55 · Answer

He has it backwards. Doesn't he know your username?

Sameone · Answer

I think he like you. And he want to date you or something

So it's your life try to be clear whit him about your relationship with him

And never give up be like me if i broukup today i start dating after tomorrow 😅

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

That sounds like a weird request to be honest. He might be a man but there are almost 4 billion of us on the planet. We can't ALL be like him!

blueonblack22 · Answer

He’s just not attracted to you but is thinking of the kindest bs excuse possible to not say that.

Med_guy1978 · Answer

Not all men are players. A thief things everyone steals, a liar thinks everyone lies. Many men are opportunists unless they are morally strong or are in love.

DryGermanGuy · Answer

Sooo... he wants you to become a nun and join a monastery?

Al_Musafir · Answer

He probably wants to keep you from dating other men (because it maybe so that he likes you).

Still-alive · Answer

I mean i know he's looking out and all but to discourage you from dating altogether is a little odd. I'd say just 'ill take it into consideration' and do whatever you like.

OtterMan68 · Answer

that's just weird. Your friend doesn't want you to date at all? Does your friend think you're woefully naive?

Danny_dan92 · Answer

Your guy friend doesn’t want you to date anyone because he wants to date you.

Luckyclover12 · Answer

He’s in love with you. Tell him to make a move (if you like him) or get out of your way lol

laly520 · Answer

none of his business its ur love life not his

elaphe · Answer

It sounds like your friend wants to date you and is giving you this excuse to keep you to himself.

Slapmynuts · Answer

I would just tell him thank you for looking out for me I do appreciate it but I'm ok thanks!:)

DagonbroughtMehere · Answer

Sounds like the pot calling the kettle black, as it were.

Anonymous · Answer

He doesn't want you to date because he desperately wants to fuck you.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

I think he underestimates you. You know the "game" pretty well.

justabuddy · Answer

Advice id never ment to totally stop you from doing something. Just stop you from doing it in a harmful way.

Anonymous · Answer

Awwwwwwww so sweet 🥹

NathanDavis · Answer

" I want to do you... "

Kykiono1 · Answer

Ignore him. It's your life

JacobJordan · Answer

Why don't you date him?

Darkest-Knight · Answer

Sounds like he's the one who wants to date you.

Amur8711 · Answer

I think he cares for you more than a friend.

Tractorguy13 · Answer

It’s your life, do what you want

Unicornrose · Answer

He loves you

Jtiger · Answer

He may have feelings for you

Anonymous · Answer

You better believe him

Dongie · Answer

Date him.

Chase435 · Answer

Hihshshs

My guy friend doesn’t want me to date, because he thinks I’ll be hurt - What to do?

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Guy friend likes me, but doesn't want to date?

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Guy friend likes me, but doesn't want to date?

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