Does this seem really rude?

[Anonymous]

So I posted a picture of me in a cute outfit for my birthday and the guy I’ve been talking to and going out with for a few months now viewed it and replied.

I was excited because I thought that maybe he was finally going to say I looked nice or that I’m pretty. He’s mentioned that I’m cute before but doesn’t say things like that often.

I was disappointed when I opened his message because he just said cool sweater. I responded with “That’s it 😂😂” which I now realize sounded rude and not how I meant it at all. He didn’t respond and I feel bad. Should I apologize or is this not a big deal?

Updates

2 mo

Ok so I apologized and he said that he didn’t even take it that way…

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm yeah I wouldn't say your response was like super rude, but it could come across that way texting. I'd maybe apologize just to clear the air.

Guys can be dumb sometimes - he probably didn't realize how much you wanted an actual compliment on your pic! Us dudes are pretty blunt.

I'd just send him like a "Hey, sorry if my last text seemed rude. Didn't mean it that way, just was hoping for more than just the sweater comment on my bday pic 😅 No biggie though!"

Let him know it wasn't really about him, you were just excited to share your pic and get feedback. We guys can be clueless haha.

An apology shows maturity on your part. And who knows, maybe he'll realize he should've said you looked cute instead of just the sweater, and return the compliment!

Either way, nip that little awkwardness in the bud so you guys can get back to your regular flirty chatting. Communication is key, you got this!

[Asker]

I did apologize and he said he didn’t take it that way. So that’s good but doesn’t explain why he didn’t respond. Maybe he’s not into me anymore?

[Oliverlogan263]

It's possible he's losing interest, but it's hard to say for sure from just this one interaction. A few things could be going on:

- Guys can be pretty dense sometimes, he may not have realized you were fishing for a compliment. So "cool sweater" was his clueless attempt.

- Or he may just generally be bad at responding quickly to texts. Some dudes suck at keeping conversations going via messaging.

- Could be he's feeling less into it lately but doesn't want to outright say so. Sometimes things fizzle without anything bad happening.

I wouldn't jump to conclusions yet. If he's still wanting to hang out in person and the vibes seem good there, maybe give it a bit more time before worrying. But if he starts flaking on plans or seems disengaged, then maybe it is fading on his end.

For now don't stress too much, you handled the apology well. Just play it cool and see if his energy levels out again. And if things do end up fizzling, don't beat yourself up - on to the next one! You'll be all good either way bro.

[spartan55]

Social media is making young people so stupid when it comes to relationships.
Yes, you were rude and shouldn't have said that. He probably didn't want to come off like a big horndog. You should apologize.

[spartan55]

@asker
So you don't compliment him and still talk to other guys? You have a lot of nerve acting like he owes you a certain type of anything.

[Asker]

He has not asked for any commitment. Hasn’t even voiced that he likes me. And I already said I realized my mistake

[spartan55]

That's great that you realized your mistake. So that means you apologized, right? If you are hanging out with him and doing girlfriend things (having sex) then it is not just on him to 'ask for a commitment'. You sound like a piece of work.

[spartan55]

I don't think there is any way you will apologize. And then you will wonder why he goes away...

[Asker]

I did apologize, and don’t assume that I sleep with guys freely. We are not intimate.

[spartan55]

Fair enough. I'd suggest not expecting things of him that you aren't willing to do yourself.

[Asker]

It’s hard for to compliment a guy, I’m shy and I’m not sure if he would like it

[Asker]

And by the way he said he didn’t take it as rude

[spartan55]

All guys love compliments, trust me. Not sure where you got the idea we wouldn't like them... quite the opposite.

[Mariena_Anne92]

My ass will just asked what about the person who’s wearing the sweater? Is she cute😂 but I don’t think that’s it sound rude. Maybe others think it’s rude. For me seems normal.

[A_Bell]

He probably did a little, but it sounds good now. When someone apologizes, decent people minimize the impact.

Some people play it up.

[Anonymous]

Kinda sounds like you’re settling for the wrong guy.

[Asker]

How?

[Opinion Owner]

Honey, you feel guilty for even wanting a compliment. Condemning yourself for being hopeful, even wanting to apologize, just so he will respond. It doesn’t bother you?

[Asker]

He did compliment me and has but I just was hoping for a different compliment this time. It’s not that I just want him to respond, I just don’t want to be seen as rude

[Asker]

But you have a point, so probably not a big deal then. thanks :)

[Opinion Owner]

I think if the love he showed you was adequate, you wouldn’t even care whether or not he complimented. Even saying “finally” sounds like he rarely ever next to never comments on your outfits and says how good you look. I’m not saying this to make you feel any type of way, you just may want to reconsider if this person is worth your time. Especially when you’re still only talking after months with no relationship in place.

[Opinion Owner]

This is just advice from someone who dealt with a guy who lacked when it came to those things. They’re not the biggest deal, but matter a lot, and you shouldn’t have to feel guilty that it matters, or correct yourself for it either. I find it valid.

[Asker]

Well there isn’t love because we aren’t in love. And personally I don’t like to jump into a relationship after a couple months, that’s just not what I’m comfortable with. But yes I would like more from him and your input is valid. It could be that we are both slow with this kind of stuff and need to feel more comfortable to compliment. I don’t compliment him, so I probably shouldn’t be too upset

[Opinion Owner]

Maybe I should clarify, I know lingo isn’t the same everywhere lol. Where I’m from, showing love means showing appreciation, affection, anything like that. Not necessarily loving someone and expressing that, although it can mean that as well. So if you don’t feel like he’s making you feel the way you’re looking to feel when you post those pictures or send them to him (if you even do that) then it can be a red flag. Taking things slow is fine, but after like 3 months if you’re behaving as his girlfriend in any way, wouldn’t you say that deserves a title? You don’t have to love a man to be his girlfriend, it is just exclusivity.

[Asker]

Oh ok I see what you mean and yea he takes me out and holds the door open for me and have me flowers for Valentine’s Day. I’m not going to list everything but yea he does sweet things, just not in a direct verbal way. And no I’m not behaving like his girlfriend, I still talk to other guys.

[Asker]

And after being the girlfriend of a guy I didn’t love and realized I never could love, I definitely want to love a guy before I enter a relationship.

[Opinion Owner]

As long as you’re happy ☺️❤️

[gorydetails]

Jesus Christ get off social media and interact with him as a person.

[Asker]

Believe me I want to. Said he wanted to see me soon but now it’s been a week