What are your thought/experiences on dating a man 8 years older than you?

[spice]

He is 8 years older than me but I mean when there is appx. 10 year age gap, have you ever experienced it?

[Anonymous]

My ex-gf and my current girlfriend are 8 and 11 years younger respectively (by the way, my ex-gf is not my ex because of anything to do with age, but a lot to do with treating me badly).

So, I think the age difference is good (course I'm bias as the older party, but I'll justify myself):

Firstly, girls tend to mature faster than guys, because they have more to lose from things going badly in a sexual situation (more to gain too, in some senses, but the financial and pratical realities of children are far more difficult than any advantage of having a healthy and loving son or daughter). So that means the average girl, whos at least 19, tends to be age equivilent in maturity to the average 25-27 year old male. Typically.

Secondly, an older partner tends to mean that the younger partner has more to learn from the elder. It tends to make them more interesting and maturity is often attractive (if coupled with capability).

Thirdly, a younger girl in a partnership is safer when it comes to any potential of having children.

There are some negatives too though:

Firstly, a younger girl might have too much expectation of the older partner such that she can be less forgiving of fault.

Secondly, an older partner might see some things the yonger partner does as still being childish (or putting it another way, the younger girls idea of a fun time might seem petty to the elder or may not enjoy them and squash some of the fun of the younger).

Lastly, there is always more blame on the older partner. So if things go wrong the older partner will bear the brunt of the blame from outside the relationship and sometimes within.

[OlderAndWiser]

If you are 49 and he is 57, to what are you referring with "when there is appx. 10 year age gap?"

I am 69 and my fiancee is 60. The only time that age gap is an issue for us is when someone else mentions it.

[DizzyDesii]

I tried that one time. He looked my age plus he was short. But he was a bit too serious at times because he was a professor. In the end, he turned out to be quite immature when i tried to leave him. I definitely prefer someone close in age like 0-3 years

[Pinay_ako]

I don’t have a problem with that… and yes I have experienced that.

[guitar]

Dating someone 8 years older can definitely have its ups and downs, kind of like any relationship, but with a few unique twists. I've not been in that exact situation, but I've seen friends navigate it, and I've dipped my toes into the "age-gap dating pool" myself a couple of times.

One of the cool things is that someone older often comes with a bit more life experience. They might be more settled in their career, have a clearer sense of what they want in life, and be over the whole "figuring themselves out" phase. That can bring a certain stability and depth to the relationship that's pretty refreshing.

But it's not all smooth sailing. Sometimes, the age difference can highlight differences in your life stages or goals. Like, if you're in a place where you're all about exploring, taking risks, or you're super into the latest tech or trends, there can be moments where they just don't get it. Or maybe they're ready for big life steps (think marriage, homeownership, kids) way before you are.

Communication is key, just like in any relationship. Talking openly about your expectations, where you see your life going, and what you're both looking for can really help.

Friends, family, or even random people might have opinions, and sometimes they're not shy about sharing them. Having a solid understanding and respect for each other can make navigating those moments a lot easier.

At the end of the day, every relationship is unique, and age is just one of many factors that contribute to its dynamic. If there's mutual respect, understanding, and you genuinely enjoy each other's company, those are pretty solid foundations to build on. Always go with what feels right for you!

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

From the inside, I probably wouldn’t question being a part of that relationship and would just go along with it.


From the outside, I have to wonder what issues he has with women his own age and if it will take me 8 years to outgrow him. How many young women has he dated despite getting older? Is this a Diane and Mr. Peanutbutter situation or is the girl being groomed in some way?

[AaronKrieger]

I think there are concerns for it, since you could be at different points in life whether it's maturity or your priorities. That does not mean you are guaranteed to have problems, but it something to consider.

Those are my thoughts based on my parent's previous marriages ending in divorce with the age gap being a decade.

[AaronKrieger]

it is something*

[Vermillion30]

My Mother and Father are 10 Years Apart and happy. My Grandparents my Grandma is 4 years older.

When I was 24 I dated a 39. I don’t think it’s Age as Much as Compatibility, Mutual Goals (house/family/love) and Maturity.

The Idea to Date and Marry around your Age is relatively Modern. 100-300 Years ago Age gaps of 10-20 Years was extremely common.

[LiamS95]

I haven't personally experienced it but I had an Aunt and Uncle and she was 12 years older than him and it seemed to work fine for them. They were very happily married for 40 to 50 years, they've both passed now but the age gap never seemed to be an issue.

[sage2021]

That's perfectly fine. That is until he starts getting really old and can't do hardly anything and you're behind him in years and younger. I think it makes a difference then.

[Apple1996]

I couldn't do it. I've noticed I can't even click with people 2 years older than me like they act like literal grandpa's so I can't imagine being in a relationship with anyone older.

[TCredo]

:( lol

[DarkWinterNights]

10 year age gaps can be weird. There is going to be a generational miss where both of you will find different things funny or true.

[dustybiker2]

If one of the people doesn't have ulterior motives it can work well. Mental age is far more flexible than actual age. Especially when mature.

[mandyfire98]

I dated a man that was my dad's age once lol. My current boyfriend is ten years older than me.

[BCRanger10]

I'm just about six years older than my wife. You're okay.

[OtterMan68]

As long as you're over 20 years of age, I don't see it as a big deal. Would it be a big deal for a 48 year old man to date a 40 year old woman? 36 year old man and 28 year old woman?

[exitseven]

If you are 16 it is weird, if you are 24 it's okay.

[andreasderjuengere]

It's only a 'big deal' if you were 16.
Age gaps -over time- tend to shrink.

[Anonymous]

My sister dated and married a man 9 years older. They met in their 30s/40s and they are happy! I like an older man.

[nawtee_me]

I married a woman 12 years younger than me with no issues at all.

[laly520]

nope
that's a too big age gap for me

[lightbulb27]

My wife 7yrs younger. Its all 👍

[worldscolide]

I'm 9 years older than my wife, you're fine.

[LunarEclipse433]

I don’t see any problems