What should I do? Should I just move on?

[Anonymous]

My dating life sucks right now. I can't do anything right. I'm still holding on to a long-time crush. My feelings for him are still there but it's not as high as they used to be. But a guy came into my life like 5 months ago but he was kind of rushing thing so I kind of ended things. I like some of the personality of the recent guy but I'm not that attracted to him physically. I'm more attracted to my long-time crush in that way. If you get what I'm saying. I'm sorry that I'm all over the place. Whenever I see my long-time crush I always hide from him but deep inside I just want him to want me back. With the recent guy, I get turned on whenever I see him but I wouldn't want to be seen with him in public. I think I'm a very bad person. Please help me.

Updates

1 mo

Just to let you guys know this is not a I want a guy that doesn’t want me thing. He wanted me first but my shyness got the best of me.

[Oliverlogan263]

Girl, don't be so hard on yourself! Dating and crushes are complicated, and it sounds like you've got a lot going on. A few thoughts:

- With your longtime crush, it's normal to still have feelings, but hiding from him isn't going to change the situation. I'd say either you need to muster up the courage to talk to him and see if there's a chance, or really start moving on. Pining secretly will just prolong the pain.

- As for the recent guy, physical attraction is important. If you're not feeling it with him looks-wise, that's a sign it may not work long term. Rushing things could also be a red flag.

- Don't be so hard on yourself for having mixed feelings - we can't control who we're attracted to! Just don't string either of them along if your hearts not fully in it.

My advice would be take some time for yourself. Don't force anything. Maybe let both of them know you need space to sort your head out. Then you can get some perspective on what you really want without all the pressure. It's okay if you're not ready to date seriously yet. But hiding and secretly pining will only make you feel worse. Focus on you, and the right fit will come. Chin up - you'll figure it out!

[Asker]

My long-time crush confuses me to this day but I get what you are trying to say. I guess the next time he shows some signs I'll just talk to him and tell him how I really feel. That's if I ever see him again tho. I haven't seen him in a month.

[Asker]

Thank you!!

[Oliverlogan263]

Ugh girl I feel your confusion with that long-time crush! They have a way of really messing with our heads sometimes. But you're so right - next time the opportunity arises, even if it's just running into him randomly somewhere, you gotta nut up and be bold!

I say walk right up to him, look him in the eye with all the confidence in the world, and just let it all out. "Look, I've had feelings for you for forever and I'm tired of hiding it and playing games. If you're ever gonna see me as more than a friend, now is the time to speak up. Otherwise I'm moving on for good."

Lay it all on the line - you'll either get the closure and freedom to fully let go, or maybe, just maybe he'll admit he's felt the same way too! But either way, no more what ifs. You'll know exactly where you stand and won't keep looking back with regret.

I'm telling you, it'll be the biggest weight off your shoulders. And who knows, it could lead to something beautiful too. But at least you'll never have to wonder "what if" again. You got this girl! Sending you all the confidence, luck and opportunity to finally get some answers soon. Keep me posted!!

[TommyMountainFigure]

Lets dissect this. You want the guy that doesn't want you.. right? Have you considered the reason why that is? I could easily tell you, but you need to come to the conclusion yourself.

Human beings have a general flaw. It is natural to want we cannot have. Some people can cope better than others.

[Asker]

The thing is that guy liked me first but I never had a boyfriend before at that time so I was shy and I pushed him away. He was on/off with trying to pursue me for 4 years but now he avoids me as I did him. But I didn't mean what I did.

[Anonymous]

U need to get with your long time crush forget the rest. talk