Are you turned off by women who are quiet on a date or who don't seem to add to the conversation?

Question

I was kind of nervous and quiet on my date.. I awkwardly stared at the menu board… I was nervous to ask questions bc I felt they were stupid questions and I feel like I’m already dumb.

Ik one thing I did was tell my date that I would order whatever he orders because I don’t know what I want

Or

He asked me what it is I wanted (relationship wise)…. I told him to go first… he goes first and then I basically said the same thing he said

He wasn’t happy about that and he accused me of just paraphrasing what he already said…

It seemed to go down hill from there… I think he didn’t like me anymore and he tried to sabotaged the date possibly.

😔 I really wanted to be with him tho

Hoe_Hero_Vulture · Accepted Answer

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WindAtMyBack · Accepted Answer

I think it depends on the reason she is quiet and doesn't add to conversation.

A recent example is someone I dated last summer, and still talk to her online. She is very difficult to carry on a conversation with. I consider it to be a big negative. But it's not because she is quiet and introverted. I'd be fine with that. It's a negative because she has NO interests. I can talk about almost anything. But no matter what I talk about, it goes nowhere, because she simply has no interests. This is very different than just being quiet because that is her nature.

Yoursweetgirl · Accepted Answer

Absolutely!
I went on a date with that one girl and not only she was quiet, wasn't adding to a convo and for some reason was walking a little behind me all the time, but also she got stoned later and then was on her phone for the other part of the date. It was extremely annoying and turn-off. I directly asked her if she wanted to be quiet for some time, she said no, please talk about something, what are your interests? But everytime I'd ask her something, she would just give me short answer and that was it. I asked her if she was uncomfortable, but she said no. I got pissed when she smoked, but still gave it try, invited her to cafe and bought her favorite drink, but she was on the phone, so I got pissed and eventually I called taxi and left.

Pinay_ako · Accepted Answer

How long have you been talking before this date? Was this a first? Second? Please elaborate thanks

coachTanthony · Answer

The problem is you paraphrase so you don’t say the wrong thing and in doing so said the wrong thing. Need your own identity and voice and know what you want in your own words

LaFemmeFatale_1 · Answer

He might think you are mysterious

worldscolide · Answer

No, i just see it as a challenge to get her to open up more. Especially if said quietness isn't because she has her nose in a goddamn cell phone. Though parroting back what he said he wants is an issue though. If i were him id want the real you, I dont want someone who molds her self to be what i want, i want someone with her own desires and wants, and isn't afraid to challenge me, Especially if im being stupid lol. My wife fits all of those things, and isn't afraid to call me on my shit.

The food thing isn't an issue really but i would want to know your favorite foods. I think you need to step back and look inside to see what you really want. and then talk to him about it and answer his questions again. I dont think its permanently over but i do believe its hanging by a thread.

Anonymous · Answer

I would say that if my date was too quiet I would worry about the connection we could have together (which would dampen the likelyhood of us reaching the point where she would try to turn me on). So, effectively, yes I guess it is a turn off.

A girl having less to say though, in isolation, is not a turn off. I think, in the description you gave, the turn off would be him feeling your maybe just saying what he wanted to hear, vs being yourself. That's a huge turn off, it's nice for a girl to agree with a guy, but it needs to feel like its agreement which has come from her own take on the same subject.

Drew-1990 · Answer

Well it's not the quiet part that bugs me, you are nervous and probably a little shy. I understand that I'm a shy person but I think the problem is you did just kinda repeated what he said so it doesn't seem like you put much effort to say about yourself. I know it's hard but and awkward but when he asked you, you should have answered honestly.

Miristheiss · Answer

To a degree. It is ok to be shy but you have to say something. When asked direct questions respond and expand. Ask questions back.

If a woman isn't asking any questions about someone they are just meeting that is a sign they have no interest. If you are interested in someone you'll want to know all about them and ask a lot of questions.

jazzyjic78 · Answer

Seems like you're shy and probably need to go to Barnes and Noble and grab a book on how to be a great date when you're new to the game and very shy. Maybe practice like your going on a job interview. So next time you can score 💝

Phoenix98 · Answer

I get being nervous and shy but at the same time it's hard to form a connection with someone who is shut off and seems doesn't talk.

You just need to work on being able to open up more and actually talk and have a conversation, ask questions. It's not hard you just have to find the flow and move with it, banter back and forth, etc.

Anonymous · Answer

Amazing. You put forth zero effort in the conversation and just parrot things he said back to him (no doubt you didn’t bother to ask him a single question first) and when he naturally doesn’t like you you accuse him if sabotaging the date.

But you’re a woman. Taking accountability for your own poor conversation and dating skills would be world-ending, so you’d rather just blame him.

Got it. 👍🙄

bobby_bush_eater · Answer

It's tough but it's not necessarily a turn off. These things take time. Being upfront about your nervousness would probably help honestly. I've been him before, you think this girl doesn't like you at all and is completely non interested. In turn it makes you a little nervous/awkward. If you really want to give it a shot reach out to him and explain honestly how you felt and your perspective. If he rejects you at that point then it probably is for the better anyways

Knightwatch27 · Answer

It is incredibly annoying and hypocritical. You have so many women nowadays who demand personality and interesting men, and who always go "say something more than just hi", but for themselves they couldn't hold a conversation if their lives depended on it. One word replies and no questions back, and their personalities are bland as heck. This isn't all women, but many.

The_Sexpert · Answer

Not me  I love silent girls.. they are very cute  Just make sure to give some indication that you're not quiet because you're not interested.. that should do

sawno · Answer

Yes, being able to hold a conversation is extremely important to me. If you were quiet during the date ill instantly mark you off as incompatible and I'd probably not do a second date.

Flatmanlewis · Answer

Kinda. Probably. Yeah. I like a more outgoing personality. It’s not an absolute deal breaker but it’s certainly a sign there may be some compatibility issues. I’m an extrovert.

laly520 · Answer

u need to work on two points ur social skills ur self esteem otherwise such problem will keep on repeating with every guy u go on date with

genericname85 · Answer

yeah, honestly if i have to carry the conversation alone and pull the words out of her mouth, that's probable the best way not to see me for a second date.

SolitarySolace · Answer

My past experiences with women has ruined any future involvement with women as well as any current involvement

dragoblack · Answer

Obviously. We want someone we can talk for hours with and never get tired of their company. If she can't hold a conversation of any kind, gives 1 word replies, and can't give anything to build off of, it's a deal breaker. Communication is important

Cheapskate · Answer

It sounds like you are being harsh on yourself

Babygirliiw · Answer

Being dumb rules. Be yourself. I’m dumb too so trust me.

exitseven · Answer

I was fixed up with a girl when I was in college. She did not like me and really made me feel very uncomfortable.

Alwayreckles93 · Answer

Well guys like honest straightforward conversation.

Iron_Man · Answer

if we’re brand new to each other to me it’s like unsuccessful date when they don’t talk at all, it’s like they’re disappointed and that sends out bad vibes

fuddly · Answer

I was on a date long long time ago

And the girl said nothing. I did my best and was very entertaining.
End of night i walked her home and bizarrely she said she would like to see me again
And i said no. Very strange.

Anonymous · Answer

It's not so much that I'd be turned off by that. More like I'd interpret it as "she's not into me."  Did you look nice for the date? Do any flirting at all?

Reijen · Answer

Yeah, I get bored unless she gave me advanced notice that she's shy and may not contribute much. But if she doesn't, I'm left to think she's boring.

Twalli · Answer

I prefer a woman who is engaging. As much as I like looking at porn, I don't want a relationship like porn. It has no substance and I would prefer to have a relationship with substance.

itsclearlynicholas · Answer

Only if they're doing so rudely or deliberately or I think that the match isn't gonna match 😕😔

Harshbro · Answer

Being closed off and quiet indicates disinterest to most people. You claim to have wanted something with him but your actions say otherwise. Put yourself in his shoes

jahaims · Answer

It depends on how she comes off. If she seems nervous and quiet that is one thing. If she is quiet because she is stupid then that is a turn off.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

Definitely. If you go out with me and just expect me to entertain you the entire time, this is a non-starter.

OtterMan68 · Answer

If I were him, I would think you were not interested

Shiningtempest · Answer

I see a woman who are quiet on a date as a massive red flag because it makes having fun conversation impossible. Thus, I'm willing to pass up an opportunity to date a woman genuinely in to me.

Ironic_Method · Answer

Not saying anything gives the appearance of being uninterested.

Awesomesauce2005 · Answer

Yes, I want to feel like she is attracted to me and interested in me.

LiamJHayden · Answer

On a first date, no, because a lot of people are nervous on those.

DextroShade · Answer

Quiet women are far preferable to loud annoying women.

Nifrayu · Answer

It honestly wouldn't bother me, but that's only because I used to be the same way.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Turn off. You have to talk otherwise there's no way I would get to know you.

JayBones2469 · Answer

I'm already checking out at the bathroom and leaving all bitch with the check

LunarEclipse433 · Answer

Yes If you get no feedback they appear uninterested

Anonymous · Answer

If the woman is quite and not talking, more than likely she has no interest in the man.

RetroReviews · Answer

Yep cuz it shows lack of interest

JHAYES317 · Answer

No…as long as she isn’t on her phone during it…

moneymagnet24 · Answer

You're such a drama n headache

In_Trance · Answer

It would be the last date

Markymark92 · Answer

No I find it kinda cute when they do that

addax · Answer

no, I'd like that.

Danny_dan92 · Answer

Fuck yes

DreamLife7 · Answer

Yeah like grow up

Anonymous · Answer

Yes, definitely.

Are you turned off by women who are quiet on a date or who don't seem to add to the conversation?

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