I will try to summarize, met online and the first date was on Valentine's and she showed up over 4 hours late and drunk (feel free to call me a dumbass for continuing) we started dating and it came to light she has bpd and gets episodes did my best to understand but a year of us together a few days after she reveals she had a sex buddy she saw almost every time after she saw me and according to her description he just fucked he rough how she liked it lol typing this now I am just disappointed in myself anyway took some months to patch things up and then she went drinking with a guy friend and had relations him.
I continued to do my best I was not perfect because I started to remember the names of these guys and some of the locations became no go zones for me, I feel like I started accruing insecurities at a rapid pace and today I have a Santa list of things I will never ever compromise on.
Her job was a masseuse and I came to learn that for a few coins well let me just leave it at that. She has a child whom I grew attached to and tried to do the dad role at this time it had become a long distance relationship (not states but countries and an ocean) but I was working to get her a passport so that she can visit and stuff, calling me an idiot is warranted at this point but I really wanted this relationship to work.
In March, when I was watching the old Jesus movie one of her old guy friends who lives in her home town (a place she said that I never have to worry about) started chatting with her and they had sex. I tried reaching her the whole weekend and she ignores my call only to send me a message that said sorry & please let me go. I got her on the phone and she admitted to cheating on me after going to a funeral and she made sure to inform me it was raw and I was not a thought in her mind. Just this past week, she said she is picking him and she is in love and she was never in love with me and even sent me voice notes of what I need to change
