I got sick of constantly flaking on me, showing poor effort in her messages, got distant, taking over a day to reply so I just stop replying, did I do the right thing? It wasn’t easy but I felt like I had no choice to thrown in the towel.
Those 4 months of chats were fun, we met twice on Feb, had sex twice, we haven’t seen each other over 2 months and since after our last meet up our chats haven’t been the same. She did said to twice we could remain friends, go slow and start of clean slate but I tried to achieving that for 2 months but every time the ball is on her end of the court in a game of tennis she just stands and let the stop bouncing and roll over. I also made it clear to her that I’m not putting myself in the friendzone.
Throughout last half of January and most February she’s reply with 400 word paragraphs every few hours, emoji bash, flirting back and forth, showed me so much affection then after bit hiccup after our last meet all the affection, excitement, adrenaline rush, long constant replies and the respect all gone. I tried to get the momentum back but it never worked. The effort and the respect level on her side was really poor.
The last santace of the rely was “it’d be good to catch up with you again whatever we end doing next next time and her sentence reply was “yeah” literally 27 hours later so I just stopped replying.
Before anyone states the obvious that’s she not into anymore, yeah I gathered that but I don’t get why can’t she brutally honest instead about it instead of playing silly games.
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Ah man, that's super frustrating dealing with a girl who suddenly gets all distant and takes forever to text back. I can understand why you felt like you had to just stop replying after putting up with that for so long.
It does seem clear she lost interest for whatever reason, even if she said she wanted to stay friends. Her one word replies and lack of effort to meet up again show she wasn't serious about that. Girls can be so inconsistent with how they act sometimes.
I don't really blame you for ghosting instead of wasting more time trying to pull responses out of her. You made it clear what you wanted and she wasn't matching your energy anymore. In the future though, it might be better just to straight up ask a girl what's up if things change that much after you've hooked up a few times.
At least that way you get clarity instead of being left wondering. But in this case, I think you made the right call to move on since she wasn't communicating well. Her loss for letting someone fun slip away. Now you can focus your energy on some girl who actually wants to put in effort for you, bro!
I think ghosting/flaking is rude, childish, narcissistic and it’s actually common for people who are in abusive relationships.
Last month ago I tried to address to her from my chest but she seemed to pretend to not know what she’s been doing and what I was about to tell her which is she stopped replying for 2 weeks until I messaged apologising to her not giving her less than she expected from me on our second date, she still said that she enjoys talking to me, she wants to slow, clean slate and I thought she genuinely meant but the way she replies speaks differently.
Damn, you're right. Ghosting is definitely childish and hurtful behavior. I shouldn't have endorsed it. Communication is always better, even if uncomfortable. And what you said about it sometimes being a sign of abuse is insightful - never thought of it that way before.
It sounds like you did try talking to her openly about how her actions made you feel, which was mature of you. And frustrating that she didn't seem to take responsibility or change her ways after that. Sorry you went through dealing with that hot and cold behavior for so long, must have really messed with your head.
At the end of the day, all you can do is express yourself respectfully and set clear boundaries. If people don't respect those boundaries after, then leaving may be best for your well-being. You definitely deserve someone who puts in equal effort and makes you a priority when you're together. Don't settle for less than that, king. Keep your head up - her loss!
It's never the right thing to "ghost" anyone. The proper thing would be to express your dissatisfaction in polite terms and explain that you are no longer interested in communicating with her, but that you wish her the best.
I tried that once but then disappeared for 2 weeks
If you sent the last message and she didn't reply it's not ghosting. If you leave a conversation that's not going anywhere is also not ghosting. It ran it's course and it just ended. No harm no foul
What’s your definition of ghosting?
If you're having a meaningful conversation and you stop replying without explanation, you've ghosted them. Never double text. You're under no obligation to carry the whole conversation
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