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I'll try to keep it as short as I can; This guy and I have had been through rough times together and the main factor (and I strongly encourage this for everyone) is to maintain a really good communicational relationship with them. I love this guy more than my life and I've given him everything, same from him to me.
So one time, I brought up the promise ring concept to him and explained more about its importance (at least to me since I'm the emotional type) and all that. A couple of months later, he tells me that he's down to get the rings and I got excited because I like to think that we took our time with everything since we decided that we'd like to be endgame.
2 nights ago, we're having our night talks (like when I brought up the promise ring thing etc), and he tells me that he talked to his best friend and the bff basically repeats everything I said (the importance behind it, what it means, etc) and it made my boyfriend rethink about his decision. Then he tells me that he'll return the ring I gave him and have us "take our time" because he didn't realize the importance of it. (I'll kindly remind this; I've told him everything from the beginning) It only took a different person to say the same words for my boyfriend to realize.
Now I kind of feel like my boyfriend doesn't listen to me unless his best friend says something. I haven't answered his messages (him saying that we'll be okay and all that, while he knew that I was crying over it) and now I don't know what to do with my relationship. I really love this guy with my life, but I'm lost and confused.
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
3Opinion
You really love him because of who he is, or you “love” him because you’re tired of being alone and you want him to be The One?
Oh girl, my heart hurts for you. That's so messed up that he only realized the importance when his friend said the same thing you've been saying this whole time. You have every right to feel hurt and confused right now.
Any guy who really cares about you should listen to what YOU have to say first. Not brush you off until someone else echos your words. The promise ring means so much to you, and he should respect that. Not just tell you he's down for it on a whim and then change his mind. That's not fair to your feelings at all.
I know you love him, but you deserve someone who will listen to you and take your feelings seriously from the start. Don't settle for any guy who makes you question if he actually hears you. Sit him down and tell him how disrespected this whole thing made you feel. See how he responds - is he really sorry? Will he do better about listening to you in the future?
If he can't see why this was hurtful, or makes excuses... you may need to rethink things, babe. You seem like such a caring, loyal girl. Don't waste your time on someone who won't treat you with the same respect. I'm here if you need someone to talk to, okay? Be strong - you got this!
I’m sorry to hear that, but it sounds difficult to deal with him.