Why as a single mother, am I only attracting low quality guys?

[Anonymous]

[MrOracle]

It's because having another man's child significantly lowers your value as a potential relationship partner, and any man who can attract a higher-value partner is very likely to choose that instead. Which means the ones who you are attracting are the guys who already know they can't attract a higher-value partner.

This is exactly why girls are told not to have children until they are married and to choose their partners carefully. A child is no small thing, it's a HUGE, MASSIVE thing and it has a massive effect on your life.

Generally, if you have a child with a man, that man - the father of your child - is the best man you will ever be with - your "peak" level. Anyone who comes after will be a lower value man (unless they're just looking for casual sex - you may get higher-value men doing that, but they have no intention of committing to you), because by having some other man's child, you are almost universally seen by men as being lower value as a relationship partner. Men see raising another man's child as a LOSS, and a man cannot be with you without having to raise your child with you.

I'm not trying to be harsh and I'm not intending to be mean to you personally - I have no idea who you are and I have no reason to dislike you - I'm merely answering the question you asked in a direct way.

You clearly understand that people have a "value" as a relationship partner, because you can recognize that the men approaching you are lower value men. Well, women also have a value, and the single biggest hit you can take to your value is to have a child from another man. You need to accept that the value you had as a child-free woman is gone, and gone forever, and that you need to adjust to your new reality, and recalibrate your expectations accordingly.

[Asker]

Is this real life thoughts from a guy or just social media rhetoric? Online I see stuff like this all the time but in real life single moms rarely have trouble getting with a good guy

[MrOracle]

"in real life single moms rarely have trouble getting with a good guy"

If you believe this, you must only be looking at the surface. Look a little closer, and you'll find that the guys that most single moms end up with are either unemployed or under-employed, have criminal records, come from broken homes and have emotional trauma, or something else that makes them lower value as a relationship partner. That doesn't mean they aren't "good people" in that they're trying to make good choices in life, but they tend to have plenty of baggage that has to be dealt with on a regular, on-going basis. These things may not be obvious on the surface - you might not know just by looking - but I know because I have always had lots of people in my life coming to me with their problems and looking for advice, and so I find out what's going on for real.

[Asker]

So in essence most single moms settle with a lower value man? Does that mean I should give guys a chance that probably aren't my type?

[MrOracle]

As I said, you're probably going to need to recalibrate your expectations.

I endlessly advise people here to vet every potential partner on their morals, values, and life-goals, because those are the things that MATTER to the success of a long-term relationship, and those should be your highest priority - ESPECIALLY with a child in the home. But, yes, you need to expect that you're going to have to accept lower "values" for things like looks, income, status, and things like that, because the chances of getting high values in all of those areas in the same man are very rare in the first place, and even women with very high value will have a tough time locking down one of those rare men. There's really no way you're going to be able to do that, so you have to be okay with a guy who is far more "average" in those areas - not horrible trolls, but average.

[Asker]

I understand. If a guy suggests that we should get coffee and he said he would pay for a babysitter should I give him a chance?

[MrOracle]

Sure - but remember that the point is to start the vetting process - that's what early dates are for. A coffee date is good because you get a chance to talk, and you can ask each other basic questions to make sure there are no immediate red flags. Over the next few dates, you get more in depth. Remember: morals, values, and life goals. You can talk about fun things too, but make sure you learn about the man's morals, values, and life goals, because that's the foundation of who he is.

You aren't looking for perfection or an exact match - that won't happen - but you ARE trying to avoid MAJOR red flags or MAJOR differences of opinion on IMPORTANT things - things that would be a problem months or years down the road. And if you find those things, you end it and move on.

[Asker]

Absolutely. If the guy in question we have talked to in the past but it was kinda toxic, would it still be worth a shot if it's been years later? We never really went on dates but he liked me. He felt I was stringing him along and playing games

[MrOracle]

You should think of it as similar to finding a good candidate for a job position: it makes sense to interview at least several of the better candidates to see what their real skills and experience is, and to see if they're a good fit for the team. Likewise, it's good to vet several men, find out what their morals, values, and life-goals are, and then make a choice. Obviously your feelings will have SOME weight too, but you MUST not make your decision purely on feelings, because your feelings only care about RIGHT NOW - they don't care a thing about your future. You need to use logic and reason, rather than feelings, for the majority of your decision.

Keep things casual with the men until you've vetted them - go on cheap/free "dates" where you get lots of opportunity to talk, and do not get sexual. That comes AFTER you've made a decision on who to be with.

[girlinthemirror]

False.. my ex married a single mother, she was older than me and had a child. I was 18, she was around 25 and her kid was 8

[MrOracle]

One anecdote hardly disproves my generalization. A few exceptions will always exist, but that doesn't change the norm.

Women always want to point to an exception to try to deny the rule, but that's exactly why so many women's relationships (or lack thereof) are such a disaster. So many women believe they are an exception and that the rules either don't exist or don't apply to her, but their lives virtually always prove the existence of the rule and that she is certainly not exempt from that rule.

Men, generally, understand what odds and probabilities are, and even if those rules put them at a disadvantage, men work to overcome, incorporating his understanding of the odds and working them to his advantage. That's why men are so often more successful - we live in the real world. So many women believe that they are special and the rules don't apply, and it results in failure that they can't recover from.

[Anonymous]

You have to look at it from a man’s perspective.


Men who have nothing going on and only care about getting laid don’t care if you have kids or not. Their priorities in life are short term and they aren’t very responsible.


Men who are responsible have statistically either had no luck dating, or poor luck in dating. Since they don’t typically have as many safety nets as women, they have to succeed or they end up homeless. If they’re working hard and struggling they probably aren’t going to focus too much on trying to meet women. Eventually, by the time they get to their 30’s they’ve probably watched a lot of other people’s relationships and marriages crumble. They look back at how hard they worked to get where they’re at and there is a shift from really wanting to find a partner to being highly suspicious of anyone’s intentions who does show interest.


This means that they’re very observant on potential red flags. Single mothers, not having a career, having a high body count, pronouns in bio, having no friends, having an Instagram with tons of selfies and followers are all potential risks that threaten the life they’ve created.

[Asker]

This is a great perspective. Does this mean that my chances of finding a high quality guy is severely low and I might have to settle?

[Opinion Owner]

Depends on what your definition of “high quality” is. I certainly wouldn’t settle for someone who doesn’t care about you or have any goals or a future.

There are plenty of good, single guys out there, you just aren’t going to find them on dating apps, clubs, bars or other typical places. You’ll have a lot more success meeting guys through your friends.

[Meisdipa]

If I had to assume
Men don't want to bother with another's child.
And taking care of a child is a huge responsibility.
Especially if that child is not theirs they could think that are they truly being loved or are they being taken advantage of.

If that was in my case
I don't think I'd date a guy who bears another's child.
Not that I hate the child or something.

Just an opinion. You can agree or disagree. It is not a fact. Just what I think.

[Anonymous]

Because you're young and at this age no man want to settle down, they just want to have sex and flirt with hundred of women at the same time. i have the same problem and I'm not a single mother. I dress modest, I'm a virgin but attract only horny dude liar cheater... Men don't want to settle down anymore they wait until they're in their 40s to do so.

[Avicenna]

High-quality guys can easily get women who don't have kids- why should they go for the more difficult set of circumstances, especially if they want their own biological kids? That's why you're getting low-quality guys. And it would be worse if you were an older single mom.

Kids are expensive and a lot of work- something you don't mind if they're yours, but not if they're someone else's. And your kid (s) are going to come first, so what quality guy is going to want to put himself into such a situation?

[Asker]

Single moms still have more options than the average man. The idea that single moms are at the bottom of the dating pool is overstated and not true. if a high value man approaches a woman and gets to know her and likes her I don't think he won't commit because she has one kid.

[Avicenna]

Generally speaking, you are deceiving yourself if you really believe that. Now, I don't know what your definition of a "high value man" is, but one who fits mine has lots of options and wouldn't do more than a hookup or fling with a single mom.

Single moms certainly have more options for hookups than average guys, that is certainly true because there are any number of guys who will do a hookup. including ones who are cheating. As for relationships with decent guys, I doubt that. Ones who are broke or have criminal records usually have to date single moms.

Comparing yourself to "average guys" (who I guess you look down on) is ridiculous- your competition is the majority of women your age who don't have a kid or kids. And what do you offer in a relationship that childless women your age do not?

[Asker]

My age isn't accurate, I'm actually 27. At my age guys are more open to dating single moms don't you think? As you get older it's hard to find a childless woman.

[Avicenna]

It's definitely harder to find a childless woman, but not a 27-year-old (there is no way I'd have dated a single mom when I was 27- I was in my 40s when I dated two single moms, and one was way younger than me). And sometimes I find professional women in their 50s who are childless.

Are you OK with dating guys who themselves have kids?

[midnightmoon05]

Good job explaining Mr. 👍
I wonder why asker avoids all the factual questions.

[Avicenna]

@midnightmoon05: She should really seek some advice from you!

[midnightmoon05]

I’m a special case 😂 that’s what hubby said.
Most people can’t handle me
We are in Thailand now. 😊 I send you a message while back on gag.

[Avicenna]

@midnightmoon05: He's right!

[V_Injector]

Let me show you a meme...

Now tell me why the meme is so fucking funny?

How about another meme to help you understand what we dudes see...

Why would a high quality guy just want you and some other guy's walking sperm donation? I'm sorry, but only the most desperate for pussy guys will even bother to try and fuck and the story is even worse for guys that would commit to a relationship with that other guy's walking sperm donation. Walking around.

[Asker]

This is just some bs online rhetoric. In real life single moms still have more options than the average man

[V_Injector]

Correction... females in general have more options than the average man. But the average man doesn't want this for himself. As always all sorts of men will have sex with you... but only less than average will commit to that situation.

We're talking Pookie that sleeps on the couch, child molesters, and just really desperate for pussy men that will pay the $-price-$. Maybe you can financially support one and he'll be your babysitter?

[Asker]

So why in real life do you see single mothers happy and living a good life if they settle with less than average men?

[avery58]

I really wouldn't be surprised if that lady in the pic "Lauren" was Hispanic, she kind of looks like it, and so does her kid. If that's the case then nothing weird with a Hispanic woman having a Hispanic (or any ethnicity) kid, and he's cute. If a man isn't interested he can just scroll past.

Also, lots of single dads on dating apps as well.

[V_Injector]

What you see is on the surface. A lot of women in your situation basically just got a swift kick in the ass about men, and then they start giving guys a chance that they never did before. If you're still a catch you might find a guy that will support you and the kid. We call them beta bux... because that's their sexual strategy... Taking care of alpha fuxs's kid is just the price they're willing to pay for the opportunity to be with a woman that's much better looking than the options (if he even had any) that he has elsewhere.

Put it all in perspective though... when you were single and had no kid... were you hitting up all the single Dads? No, probably not and you were going for guys like the kid's Dad. That's called paying the toll.

@avery58 What I just said also applies to your comment. Asker now should start considering guys she would've never given a chance to before. ... and vet the fuck out of them so there isn't another mistake.

[BetaBucks]

Hell dude, even a betabux like me knows that I don't have to settle for a single mom. I just got my ass in shape and became a beta for a hot, young chick. It helps to make great money.

What these moms need is an ugly beta with no options, barely any money (but enough to pay her rent) and a weird personality. But they'll still think they settled because they remember the chads that used to rough fuck them like whores and do absolutely nothing for them. They'll end up cheating with chads along the way still, and they'll always rationalize why their beta deserves it.

[PeachyPie93]

This guy has a wife who cheats on him, she is a roastie herself and he cheats on her to feel better about himself. So don't waste your time on trolls like this guy with his multiple accounts. Since he can't even chose a loyal spouse, yet he thinks he is an "Alpha" lol

[JamesRandiDebates]

Sure, a good looking woman can catch a dick whenever she wants regardless of whether she's a single mother or not. But getting a quality man to put a ring on her? That's not happening.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Because single moms are low quality women.

Most men do not want to raise another guy's kid, because 1: we will never be the real father, and 2: we don't want your ex to be around, and if he's the father, he will be around.

Also, we don't want to date or marry a woman who gets herself pregnant before knowing that the father of her child is "the one" (because if you aren't certain about someone before humping them, who's to say you won't repeat that mistake with the next guy?

It makes you look bad at being sure of who/what you want, so we won't believe you when you say you the words "I love you".

Lastly, there are guys like me who don't want kids at all, biological or not, and that lifestyle cannot be had with a woman who is already a mom.

[Asker]

If single moms are low quality why do they marry guys with money and have their life together?

[TheSpaceGnome]

Typically they don't. Most single moms never keep any guy.

Being a gold digger on top of being a single mom would reduce her chances even further.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Your only options for guys that will stick around are single dads, and most of those are just as bad as single moms are, and you'll have to deal with his kid's mom as well.

[Asker]

I see single moms with childless men all the time. Let me guess there is something wrong with them?

[TheSpaceGnome]

Definitely.

In a lot of cases the guy is a cheater or just asshole, but many other reasons exist, all bad.

As far as it being "all the time: though, I'm gonna have to call bs on that, you definitely AREN'T seeing it all the time. rarely maybe, but your claim that it's common is just a lie.

[Pyrofox]

Guys see single mom and think poor first choice picker. And step father is the almost last thing any man wants to be remembered for. It also doesn't help that society has told nice guys essentially to fluff off. As a result those in the dating market are often those who are desperate love sick fools.

Also its easy for single mothers to be seen as vain and selfish for seeking their own needs for attention over their own kids.

Lastly its not secret that dating a single mom will also make you be second priority. From a mans perspective.

[Telekinetic-Potato]

Because you have a kid. As a guy, if I see a woman with a child and no man there's a couple things that go through my head.

The first being what about my kid? Is she going to leave my kid without his father? What really is the story there? I'm going to have to learn to be comfortable never knowing for sure. That's a huge weight over your head as a man.

You have to work so much harder to convince the man that you are loyal and a team player and are mentally strong enough to make it through hard times and emotionally tough enough to last through a relationship what you either grew past your last relationship or it genuinely wasn't your fault.

Because being a single mother is a major sign that there's something wrong.

[Skinhead-1979]

That's a bit unfair... I would think you are drawn to the wrong guys.

I've raised a girl, who isn't mine, between the age of 1 and 13 (and had my own son with her mother); while I have most certainly made mistake, I am after all not perfect - far from it probably, everything I have done was for my family. I just ended up with a 'Black Widow', nothing I did was good enough for her, all the signs were there because she had treated her ex almost exactly the same as me (she went a lot further with me), but I refused to see it.

So no, single moms do not only attract 'low quality guys'. Maybe you place the bar too high?

[art84]

My cousin was a single mother and she was married for a like 9 years with three kids. She would always end up with guys would treat her like crap. I remember one of her boyfriends worked on airplanes but would consistently put her down in public and a total jerk. Of course she saw her father treat her mom like trash so was attracted to low value guys. I really believe it's low self esteem in women especially if you had children with a guy who didn't have much to offer like good paying job, car, and etc.

[pethouse]

First off, fuck off with that high quality low quality bull shit. If a man hears a single mother say that he’s going to think very poorly of you. Second. My buddy’s step dad was a good man. Sure he had his issues. He had horrible ptsd from Vietnam and sometimes go through violent flashbacks. But despite that he was a good man. He did a lot better then my buddies biological father did that’s for sure. He took the kid as his own and my buddy and his stepdad are best friends to this day.


You’ll never find a “perfect man” but there are some decent to good dudes that will pick you. But the way you talk about men your options will be more limited.

[Anonymous]

because like it or not, body count matters

the higher the quality of man, the more it matters to him given his time, energy, resources and investment

the lower the quality of man, the less it matters to him because he's desperate for pussy and will pay anything for it

and as for kids, no one is obligated to take care of someone else's kids. that's the responsibility of the parents themselves

where is the real father anyway?

[SugarSugarplum]

Because you opened your thighs for other men, and now you want a quality man to take on the expense and responsibility of providing for you raising some other man's kid (s). Quality men want to raise their own kids.

[TommyMountainFigure]

I know what you're saying but, hypothetical question for you.
Supposing 5 years down the line, you're married to the guy you're currently engaged to and things don't work out after you have a baby. He walks out leaving you in the same position as the asker?
Do you still hold the same view, or do you then think hold on, I'm in the same position through no fault of my own?

[SugarSugarplum]

@TommyMountainFigure I'm not dunking on the women who are in this situation. Well I am kinda if they have 5 babies by 4 absent baby daddies. I'm just saying that *good men* have every right to see single mothers as a lot of extra burden for a much less than ideal life.

That said: A man who takes on this extra burden is above-and-beyond charitable, along the lines of people who adopt kids.

But that cup of tea is NOT required and not for everyone.

[TommyMountainFigure]

Don't get me wrong, I know what you're saying. 5 mistakes is simply a case of not learning by the original one, but we have literally no idea other that what was asked, and if we are to assume the asker is genuinely in the 18-24 category, she is highly unlikely to have made 5 mistakes.
I just think it's not inconceivable her position could happen to ANY woman, and maybe should be shown a little more understanding.

[SugarSugarplum]

@TommyMountainFigure I'm not talking about the women here. I'm talking about a man not wanting to take on the extra burden just to date a single mom. No man "owes" a single mom extra effort just because she may have come into this situation by totally innocent means.

[TommyMountainFigure]

I get that too, but I'll tell you something for nothing. If a woman DID have a young child, it was never my deciding factor to dating her!

[SugarSugarplum]

@TommyMountainFigure Imagine this:
Man: Hey, I'd love to find a date for Friday night...
Woman: Sounds great, but...
- I'm a single mom.
- So I'm perpetually low on funds, you have to pay for everything.
- I want you to pay my sitter (I have seen tiktoks of this).
- I'm also going to order lots of extra food to bring home to the kids (I have seen tiktoks of this too).
- you have to pay for my Uber.
- also, you will always be last on my priority list, my kids come first. (understandable from her perspective, non-ideal from his).
- also, my availability must be planned and can never be spontaneous (I have to get a sitter and work around school, etc.)
- also any attempt to do anything at my place must be rated G.

[TommyMountainFigure]

In answer to that. A friend.. He was a good friend of mine too, walked out on his wife and child to go be with an 18 year old woman in Scotland. This was years ago. He came round to me to ask if I would cover for him.. I told him to (the second word was off)
After that happened, I helped her through the tough times, as did some of my other friends. That child is in his 20's now and he is a qualified Lawyer. You know what? Every year he sends us all a birthday present to say thank you.
I know not all kids turn out like him, but I wouldn't have had a problem with ANY of that above! If I liked a woman and she had a kid from a previous relationship, that kid would be treated as if he were my own!

[integrale77]

I'd put it down to al the single childless women have picked over the good ones as dating a woman with no child is going to beore appealing.

Maybe you will find better luck with older single men as they will be less picky over the women they seek.

My girlfriend is a parent and I'd like to think I'm far from low quality.

[BetaBucks]

Probably a troll question, but to those wondering, it's because high value men don't typically want to take on other people's responsibilities with absolutely no benefit, and ton of liability. Except for the pedophile ones, I guess.

[midnightmoon05]

That was my first thought - trolling.

[Asker]

Not a troll question, I was just curious. I don't think just because I have a child that I should settle or I'm less deserving of a decent guy

[BetaBucks]

Okay, you're welcome to feel however you want, and act however you want. Meanwhile, high quality guys will feel like being with girls without kids. Besides the ones that are pedophiles. Then, they prefer kids.

[Avicenna]

Asker, you're asking a high-quality guy to settle when you don't want to. That sort of thing generally doesn't happen.

Now, I don't know what your definition of a decent guy is, but that could be possible if you're willing to prune back some of your expectations.

[Asker]

My sister as a single mom found a guy that has a great job, own car, own place & his head on straight. He got his life together but he committed to my sister because he actually likes her. He understood that she has a child and that they are a package deal

[Avicenna]

Yeah, well, color me skeptical. I have yet to see such a constellation in real life.

[Asker]

Not to make assumptions but you probably don't get out as much or you don't live in a populated area. I live in California and you see it all the time

[Avicenna]

LOL, I must be a hermit who lives in a very rural area! Nope, never noticed such a thing when I lived in barely populated areas like Manhattan San Antonio, and Frankfurt, Germany. But I sure did notice a lot of low-quality guys with single moms.

[Avicenna]

* Manhattan, San Antonio

[Avicenna]

If it were so easy for single moms and so common, you would not be complaining about only attracting low-quality guys.

[Asker]

I'm only speaking for myself. I'm sure there are other single moms that don't have this issue

[Avicenna]

Well, my advice to you would be to focus on what's important, and that is raising your kid. As far as a committed relationship with a guy, focus on stability, one who is a good role model for your kid, and doesn't have mental health or financial problems, and consider guys who are older and aren't what you find hot if you want to maximize your dating pool.

[Nikki1989]

So much bad advice from the blue trolls on here. It has nothing to do with who you are attracting, but rather who you are willing to accept.

[Anonymous]

Guys prefer someone who doesn't have a child so they will typically not opt for it. I have been with a single mom but she was truly special and won me over after being friends first. So if she's truly special I am open to it, but if its just an ordinary girl i'd rather date someone else who doesn't have a child.

[OhLongJohnsoning]

Because you ARE a single mother

No, I know, i get it, just cause the guy you were with didn't work out, doesn't mean all other men shouldn't work out but, think about it, they're competing for your time, with the kids. Men want to know you're their number one priority, not the kids. That's why lots of people don't want kids... because they want to know they're your number one

[Apple1996]

It probably has nothing to do with being a mom. You might just attract a bad type. Being a mom tends to give women better options than the average woman because all the bad men will weed themselves out

[TommyMountainFigure]

I truly don't know what the answer is, but one thing I can say. There are a LOT of people on here very quick to judge without knowing the full extent of your situation. It's actually quite embarrassing to read some of it!

[Berethor]

Because single moms are low quality as well, why would high quality guys want baggage?

[avery58]

It means you haven't learned much from your mistake. Or you're more attracted to a guy's looks than personality.

[NewYorkCity]

This will sound brutal, but that is a reality and the truth, because you became a low quality girl. No normal men would EVER in his right mind would want to have a women with a child.

[PeachyPie93]

Don't accept trash.. but also realize it is hard not to find trash these days even without kids, so it's gonna be tough on you.

[Asker]

How do I vet a guy that isn't "trash"?
Would it be worth giving a guy from the past a chance who liked me and still does till this day?

[PeachyPie93]

First ask lots of questions, even uncomfortable ones. If he passes, then date him and get to know him over time, everything comes to light in time. If he doesn't fit move on.
Well do you actually like him, that is the question? Don't just chose someone just because they like you, because he would deserve better at that point.

[Asker]

He asked me to grab coffee and he offered to pay for a babysitter. I didn't respond to him. I was unsure if I lik5e him and didn't want to lead him on

[Asker]

Liked*

[PeachyPie93]

Well just be honest, say I'm not sure if I am into you, but we can grab a coffee and see how things go. If you don't like him reject him, things are really simple if people are honest with themselves and others.

[Asker]

I already ignored him and he hasn't reached out since. I probably messed everything up

[PeachyPie93]

How long has it been since he messaged you?

[Asker]

About 1 month ago

[PeachyPie93]

Oh yeah.. you may have messed that one up. Well just keep looking or just get out a lot. Good guys tend to be involved in the community more often.

[DrPepper12]

Many guys your age don't want the baggage of a kid and possibly ex-husband that you have to have a relationship with because of the kid. They're not even going to take the time to find out about you. I'm sorry but it's the truth.

[Anonymous]

Unless you’re widowed, you made bad decisions in your life. Permanently. Even in the Bible, it warns women to choose men of good character, so you avoid that situation in the first place.

[Asker]

How did I make a bad decision if my daughter's father did a complete 360 in the way he was? He put on a facade and once my daughter was born he completely changed

[Opinion Owner]

No one just changes out of nowhere. They been giving you clues this whole time. Even with serial killers, they always been sinister. So I don’t believe it one bit.

[Asker]

Honestly there were no signs. He was happy about the baby then once she arrived he got cold feet.

[spartan55]

@asker
I think you mean a 180.

[lightbulb27]

what mean by low quality? Must be how you carry yourself and project.

[midnightmoon05]

It depends if you are a high quality woman?

[midnightmoon05]

Such as what are you offering to a high quality guy that other women can’t?

[Vegasrunner]

@midnightmoon05 A single mom can't he a high quality woman.

[midnightmoon05]

@Vegasrunner maybe that’s why I’m not getting a respond from her。 so how can any good man taker her seriously.

[Vegasrunner]

@midnightmoon05 Agreed.

[Anonymous]

As a single mother you have the same market value as a woman a decade older than yourself so if you're 27 with a kid then you're equal to a childless 37 year old

[Asker]

Sounds like you are on the internet too much. In real life it's different because if single mothers had such "low value" they would never find someone to be in a relationship with

[Opinion Owner]

Plenty of people dating would date a 37 year old, back in the day I know I would have

[noohair]

It is called the low hanging fruit theory. You had sex to have your child. You don't think that way, but desperate guys that don't attract women will do anything for some sex.

[PrettyCrumblBb]

Are you a low quality woman? Why are you letting low quality men into your life?

[Asker]

I'm not a low quality woman. I don't let low quality men into my life but it seems like that's all that approaches me

[PrettyCrumblBb]

Really no good men? Where do you usually meet these men?

[Asker]

Work, the gym, coffee shops, the mall, etc

[PrettyCrumblBb]

Wow I don't know what to say. It's good you don't keep them around you though.

[zombiewoof]

Not your fault, some guys are not willing to stepup and be willing to be a dad to another mans kid, they are losers, be glad they do not come around, the guys that do are willing to take that role

[Staximus]

Because you made a poor life decision by having a kid with a guy who is no longer around

[Alex-Snow]

Have patience there are some good guy out there... be picky

[KittygosMeoWW]

Genuine question here, what are you considering low quality? What are you looking for?

[BetaBucks]

Probably: average income, average looks, average personality. Let's be real here, average men are looked at as trash by most women. Hell, they aren't even looked at until those women run out of options and have been ran through by 100 high quality guys that didn't have to commit or provide a thing in return for their sexual submission.

[msc545]

Also, what is your definition of a "high-quality" man?

[Asker]

Someone that has a purpose in life. Someone that is respected, attractive, secured & loyal/trustworthy

[LiamJHayden]

A lot of guys look upon single moms as easy pickings. Those guys tend to be after one thing.

[gorydetails]

High quality men don't want to raise another man's child.

[Luckycharms12]

Must guys don't want to play dad. Especially if they don't have kids themselves

[the29thhuman]

Have a relationship when your child is grown and independent.

[Anonymous]

Because... you're a single mother. This isn't rocket science.

[Asker]

Just because someone is a single mother they are deserving of less?

[Opinion Owner]

No, because they're a single mother they are a bigger risk. They didn't get to be a single mother by accident.

[FarmBoy13]

What attributes of a guy do you judge the quality by? What makes them low quality

[JamesRandiDebates]

Because high quality guys have better options than someone else's leftovers.

[Anonymous]

You're a mom, Boobs hanging, huge nipples, loose tummy, wayy to jiggly ass.

[Theodora1983]

Could be your parents were or is same. Then you tend to the same it’s vicious circle.

[Anonymous]

Stop whinging, You could be Attracting no Guys whatsoever.

It's probably because your a low qaulity Woman.

[Kelley1]

Because you know the league you belong in.

[Kelley1]

If you are intelligent, have an agreeable personality, and especially if you look like this girl, with no tattoos and no piercings except ear lobes, single mom or not, you can attract and marry a high-quality man.

[Kelley1]

Of course, you don't look like that. Nevertheless, being a single mom is not a disaster. However, it does lower your sexual market value. For example, if are a six, a little above average, you are probably an average five but still more desirable than a slightly below average four.

[patrick994]

Maybe it's just bad luck.

[Danny_dan92]

What would you classify as a “high quality guy” ?

[Asker]

A guy that has life together

[Danny_dan92]

Do you have your life together?

[Asker]

I do.

[Danny_dan92]

I see. Well I’m going to be the bearer of bad news… most men do not want to date women that have kids already. Especially if the father is still in the picture at all.

[Asker]

If there is only one child, do guys still feel the same?

[Danny_dan92]

That doesn’t change anything

[Asker]

Does that mean I will have to settle?

[Danny_dan92]

What you need is patience.

You’re in your early 20’s not your early 30’s

[msc545]

You apparently picked a low-quality guy as his father, and perhaps your preferences haven't changed.

[Asker]

They have changed but only low quality guys approach me

[msc545]

That should tell you some things about yourself. Do you have a lot of tattoos? how do you dress?

[Asker]

A couple of tattoos. I don't dress provocatively

[msc545]

If the tattoos are visible that is enough to put some guys off. Try getting some coverup cream for them if they are visible, and see if that changes anything.

Also, where do you go to meet guys?

[Danny_dan92]

First of all this is a terrible take.

Cover cream?

Maybe you aren’t with the times but tattoos are more common and mainstream now than they were back in the 80’s & 90’s.

Sure, SOME tattoos can turn off guys but it’s very narrowed now. Pretty much face and neck tattoos come off trashy to most men. I’m sure this girl has the typical small tattoo on her waist, back, arm, legs. That’s not a turn off to most men like you claim it is.

I would bet that YOU don’t have tattoos. So you’re trying to generalize all or most men by your own preferences. Which is overtly false

[Unit1]

MrOracle got this one squared away

[paledreams]

Hmm 🧐 could be various reasons

[ChicoFromThe305]

Cause having kids makes things harder

[jahaims]

Single mom= low quality

[Asker]

Even if it's just one kid?

[Booklover_90]

Is the father of your children low quality?

[stratford]

Depends how you are approaching dating?

[Chthou95]

The audacity of you to ask this question

[Asker]

What are you implying?

[Chthou95]

You aren't going to be attracting the men you want when you're a single mother especially if those men have options

[Asker]

Will I have to settle? Will I have to give someone a chance that I may have not given if I didn't have a child?

[Chthou95]

What other choice do you have? Your options have dwindled

[Asker]

Is the rhetoric you stated just social media talk or is that reality? In real life i see single moms are always sought after

[Chthou95]

They're sought after for hookups. Men who just want to get laid. Actual relationships are another story

[Asker]

No I've seen some single moms get into committed relationships with guys and they have their lives together.

[Chthou95]

An anecdote doesn't mean anything. In genenal men don't want to date single mothers especially men who have options. And if thats the case, why haven't you found one

[Asker]

I haven't put myself in the situation to get one. I stay inside most of the time

[Chthou95]

Then that's your problem. If you're so confident you'll get one, put yourself out there

[war_daddy]

because normal guys don't want a single mother

[Asker]

Even if it's just one child?

[war_daddy]

yes. nobody wants to raise YOUR kid for you

[Asker]

I know this guy that has been liking me for years. I don't want to settle for him. He is not my type

[war_daddy]

have fun getting old as a single person

[Asker]

You think I should give him a chance?

[war_daddy]

you probably don't have any other options

[andy530]

They want to use you

[Asker]

Use me for what?

[andy530]

Sex most likely

[Julian7312]

Low quality = ?

[Anonymous]

You're a single mom.