Is it always a bad idea to give someone a chance if they've been pursuing you for years?

[Anonymous]

[Finchie40]

It’s a bad idea for someone to keep chasing after someone that can’t make up their mind , so yes it’s a bad idea , because if you really liked that person to begin with. you wouldn’t of kept pushing them away So Whatever that reason maybe? will eventually come back to haunt you if you do finally give in. Or could come back and haunt them as to why you kept pushing them away 2 wrongs don’t make a right

[Luv2BRealExotic13]

Yes, if you didn’t see them that way before you’re damn sure not going to like being in a romantic relationship with them. That’s usually an underhanded manipulative trick creeps use or groom people into. Then their delusions will start of always wondering why it didn’t happen sooner. What didn’t you see in them, the resentfulness kicks in. Then they wonder if the hookup is out of pity. They’ll have a reel in their head of your previous relationships before them, that they sat up most nights talking with you about the breakups. They’ll have anger or jealousy about.

[DishLady]

The question's a little funny coming from a kid your age... what's "for years"? Middle School? Baring childhood crushes, some folks have been in hot pursuit of each other throughout their adult lives (I'm talking 25+ years... longer than you've been alive) and have now resigned themselves to the fact that some things just aren't meant to be.

[Asker]

I'm actually 27 and this person has been pursuing me since I was like 22.

[DishLady]

Ok… And what are his intentions? Is he chasing just because or has he actually declared serious intentions or is he just messing with your heart?

And what are yours towards him?

[Asker]

I'm not sure what his intentions are because I don't really entertain him. In fact I ignore him for the most part. What I can tell you is that we used to talk but we stopped talking for years because of an argument. Years later he followed me on social media and I followed him back. He commented on one of my posts and he said I was "perfection". I said thank you. He suggested that we meet in person for ice cream or something like that. I guess that was a date offer but I didn't respond. Currently there is no communication.

[anon1903]

If you're not interested, why do you want to do it?

[Static_In_The_Attic]

In life if you never try you will never know & in life everyone deserves a chance. As for the person who has been pursuing you for years they’re pursuing you for a reason & until you give them a reason not to pursue you I think you should give that person a chance because you might not ever have that chance from that person again.

Love works in mysterious ways & you two can write one hell of a love story.

[Asker]

I understand what you're saying but he isn't my type. He is not assertive and he is way shorter than me. He also showed some bad traits in the past

[Static_In_The_Attic]

Some say the heart wants what the heart wants & in life sometimes the heart can’t always have what it truly desires & sometimes hearts do get broken. If he’s not your type he’s not your type & to be honest I think you & him should have a heart to heart & everything you told me you should tell him. Right now you might be leading him on so be open & honest with him.

[AviatorTom]

Not at all. My father always said that he chased my mother until she caught him. They had a long happy 40+ year marriage until he died.

[Asker]

What if you don't like them in that way because he showed some bad traits?

[anon1903]

A lot of 90s love story is just lack of consent

[ohsheeT]

But they've been pursuing this person for so long what was the reason why that pursuit wasn't happening

[UnicornLobotomy]

It depends on the backstory between you two. And above all, how you, the pursued, feel about him. Its ultimately up to you.

Now, if you like him and could see yourself dating him and/or even starting a family with him, go for it. But first, has he been a stalker. Obviously he probably hasn’t or you wouldn’t be asking. But the line between stalker and pursue is different from person to person. Like is it a petty desperation or endearing. It depends on how many options the guy has and the story behind it all.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Depends on if you actually want them or not. Clearly they’ve been pursuing you in spite of your continued denial of them. Persistence isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it mainly depends on how you feel about it. Did they violate your boundaries when you told them no? Do you only want them because you’re alone and you know they’ll say yes? Think carefully

[Radiate143]

YES! YES! YES! They will dog you out so bad worse than anyone who has ever dogged you out before guys know when they're the option and they WILL find a way to make you suffer after their ego and just has been satisfied. I've been very badly burned this way. If you are being idealized, once your "perfection" wears off he will grow to hate you.

[IslaTheWitch]

if I don't feel anything to him, I won't force myself...

if he doesn't feel anything I just want to get this information "it won't happen"

[HawkPerception]

I don't see an issue with giving someone a chance if you want to. It's very simple... go out with people you feel like comfortable to go out with. If you don't have any interest then don't.

[anon1903]

If you liked them even a little, you'd have went out with them. But you didn't!

That shows you're only going to them because of desperation.

That's honestly so embarrassing

[rachel776]

i made my boyfriend wait a year and now we've been together for a year and a half

[dudegreat91]

Yeah probably. The person would be a low esteem individual perhaps. Also if it took you so much convincing to say yes, then you're probably not attracted to that person

[FunkyMonkee]

I don't see how. Unless they've always been some kind of perverted creep.

[Starrrboy]

Yes.. once they have you , they won't treat you any way special..

[Anonymous]

It's probably bad if it took years for you to even consider them.

In the word of Bill Engvall, "here's your sign".

[Yamaal]

No it is not, but character is also important

[Skyros]

If it’s been years and you haven’t wanted him, you’re never going to want him. That’s just my take.

[spartan55]

What does that have to do with anything? So weird.

[Alwayreckles93]

My advice if he is a mommas boy RUN!

[Twalli]

No. They clearly see something they like.

[Asker]

What if you don't like them in that way?

[Twalli]

Then don't, but if you find them marginally attractive and like their personality, but you don't find thrm to he fully our type, go for it.

[In_Trance]

Depends on the circumstance

[MoroccanPrincess]

Not always no

[Asker]

Could they try to get revenge on you for making them wait that long?

[MoroccanPrincess]

Nahh they might be exhausted from the chasing. If they want revenge for pursuing someone then they have issues mental lol

[noohair]

No..

[Asker]

What if you don't like them in that way?

[noohair]

You did not say that originally.