Should a girl ever make the first move?

[Anonymous]

Yes

No

[DishLady]

Depends on what you're considering a "move". Someone is introduced to you and starts talking to you as part of a general conversation within the group... that's a move... Looking annoyed bc he's sure he has your number but is having trouble finding it on his device (and asking you for it) is a move... It's all very indirect, but it's still the first move. So then if you follow up... you're responding to the guy's move. It's all very natural and organic when it happens this way. You're building context, etc.

If you have to make a "cold approach" without knowing anything about the guy it's a little different, but there are nice ways to do it. For example, you and your friend happen to be looking for an open space to get the bartender's attention. You tap the guy you're interested in and ask him to help you get the bartender's attention. He'll feel manly and helpful, which encourages him to chat you up a little. Don't linger too long, but don't go too far either. Give him a chance to then make the follow-up move (like asking for your number, etc.).

[OneViewpoint]

@DishLady,

Yes I'm aware of the squeezing in next to my seat at the bar to order drinks. You didn't need to walk all the way down the bar to do that. You could have done it where you were standing before. And you've brushed against me to order drinks 3 times now.

And you've asked to borrow my menu.

And you've tried a one sentence comment about the bartender.

Or you and your besties make that walk down the bar after trying to lock eyes with me doesn't work. And you and your friends set up shop right behind my seat. But I'm still not paying attention. So now the bumping starts. Like being hip checked in a hockey game, LOL. Always followed up by a sincere apology.

Or you ask me to hang your purse or jacket on a hook under the bar for you.

Or you ask me to snap a few pics of the three of you to commemorate your girl's night out.

Why is it so hard to just walk up and say hey, turn around I want to talk to you, LOL?

[DishLady]

@OneViewpoint Nah, never get a bestie to do your work for you. That's an amateur hour sort of thing.

Oh, a hooker would certainly just walk up to a guy and say I want you and drag you out by the belt buckle... and you'd have a story for your friends the following morning. But that's not how a dignified lady rolls. The guy should feel like the guy. Don't you feel nicer when she casually lets you be the hero by helping her out and build up to the moment where you're both smiling and chatting? It's not rocket science.

[OneViewpoint]

No, I don't feel like the hero any more than if a guy asked to borrow my menu. I don't need to feel like a hero. I'm aware what's going on. It just comes off as childish. Why can women not be direct about anything, LOL? That stuff is counter productive with me.

And see, that's the attitude I'm talking about. I'm not talking about her grabbing my belt and saying "I want you". Followed by my judgement that she's some street walking woman of ill repute and price negotiations.

What I'm talking about is , "Hey I've seen you here before. My name's Laura. Happy Friday, cheers. What are you up to tonight". And we're off and running... like two adults enjoying a night out. I really can't weasel out of a situation where someone is just being nice and friendly to me. Even I'm not that much of an introverted asshole.

[DishLady]

That’s your prerogative, man.

I tend to be more direct. But only very specific guys can handle that. From what I’ve seen, guys who make the effort of the first move and feel like the “big hunk of man” for their gal actually do pursue and stick with their gal.

Maybe you’d rather use different wording that “hero” but the fact that it works really well on average can’t be denied. 🤷🏻‍♀️

In your Laura TGIF scenario… why wouldn’t YOU do that? That sounds like something a guy would say. A man doesn’t think about the way to “weasel out”… and a woman doesn’t presume that someone approaching them is trying to “weasel out” of anything. The weaseling out prompt is triggered by the gal giving unwanted attention to the guy…

[777GgG]

I asked my partner out on our first date. I also asked him to be my boyfriend. So I personally see nothing wrong with it.

[OneViewpoint]

I soooo wish that women would stop the subtle flirting hints thing and just walk up and say hi. Don't get me wrong, some do. The honesty and lack of shy silly games is really refreshing even if I'm not very responsive most of the time.

Yes, I can read your ridiculous "please approach me" signals. I've learned to be a mind reader. But it's just so tedious and juvenile I lose all respect and interest almost immediately.

Men or women should be able to walk up and start a conversation without caring about power struggles or "looking desperate". I honestly don't judge a woman like that. It's more like "Oh look, and adult trying to interact with me, how unusual".

[HawkPerception]

Yes. Societal norms are a little ridiculous. If a girl likes a guy, she should also initiate. Otherwise it could be a missed opportunity and you go home wishing something happened. Don't just expect the guy you're interested in to approach you. Guys are clueless.

Men also like feeling desired.

[ohsheeT]

Yes sometimes see has to... I think it just depends on what type of move.. but I think it's fine

[Static_In_The_Attic]

Absofuckinglutely! In life if you like someone you shouldn’t be afraid to tell them & in life if you never try you will never know. Nowadays some girls do make the first move & if you snooze you lose & if you don’t ask us guys out someone else will.

[IslaTheWitch]

lmao, I have my share in the first moves :D

if you know what you want, go for it :D

[Joshydavid25]

I wouldn't say if she should or shouldn't, but at least a woman making her interest clear and known helps out a lot.. It would give the guy the confidence to start making his move..

[Apple1996]

Yes of course. It's better if the woman makes the first move

[NicholasRedone]

Yes, unless she'd rather never ruin the fantasy crush in her mind - after all, would disappointment be worse than rejection? Go figure 😶😊

[deniz_9]

its really hard to make the first move tho😭🫶

[Anonymous]

If the woman makes her first move it means that she is desperate

[LiamS95]

Yes especially with a shy guy or at least mske it very easy for him to talk to you.

[Anonymous]

i'd say there is a better chance of dinosaurs coming back to life than there is of women making the first move, asking men out, in the masses, droves, or just as much as men do to women.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

No. The woman gives the sign then the man makes the move assuming he's interested in her.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I actually prefer it that way... I like dominant girls.

[Drumlin2001]

Sure why not, it's 21st century

[MoonFace2]

Men seem to prefer making them first.

[Uglygaypoorcoward94]

only if he's hot and u want him.

[Professor-college]

Sure I don't see why not

[Ms_Facesitter]

Of course