Is it ok for a girl to make the first move?

[Anonymous]

I seem to be very curious about a guy but I've been trying to kill the feeling cause I feel like he doesn't get the hint as I sometimes stare at him. I don't know if I should strike up a conversation with him or just leave him cause I don't wanna seem too forward. Can't guys see green flags?

[DoggyDude]

It is and it will be welcomed by most men; Please, make it :D. Shy guys are dreaming about the girl who lets them know!

That said, I do want you to be protected too, and I realise making the first move is daunting and has huge potential for a emotionally hurtful outcome.

So, you've smile and you've stared. All good starters. The guy, if interested will likely be wondering why your staring, and maybe second guessing if your staring at them or past them. If disinterested they may be still wondering why your staring and if they should worry.

Some good green flags for talking to a guy are:

1) They smile back (don't overly concern yourself with how long they smile for, just be concerned with the initial quality of smile the first time at a distance; When up close they might struggle to smile being afraid how you'll react seeing them up close).
2) When you make an effort to talk to them they look releived / glad/
3) They hang around you when your smiling and try to stay in a position where you can talk to them (this is a really good one, but remember guy might clam up once they get close and feel embarassed and like he wants to get away... so you need to just make a joke then to set them at ease and see how it goes).
4) Keep your company in mind. When you meet a guy who likes you and your with friends, it can be extra daunting for the guy. Try to engineer it so your on your own when you see him again, as that helps it to be less daunting (obviously be safe doing this, people around generally is fine, just don't appear tight with anyone particular, be a bit away from people).

Good luck, I really hope you do make the first move... ~smile.

[Asker]

Thanks for this amazing answer. I've smiled and he's smiled at me too. I've also caught him staring but I don't know if I saw wrong. Sometimes he passes bye like he doesn't see me so started doing the same and acting like I don't care but then one day he actually smiled at me. It felt genuine but I've just been avoiding him. I don't know what to do anymore. I was thinking of starting up a convo with him but I don't know. He even started talking to some other girl but then I noticed they haven't Been talking anymore. I don't Know what to do.

[DoggyDude]

I learned something way too late in life. Why I came back here to share my mistake in hopes others don't make it.

Your chance may come at any time and it might be a perfect time and a fleeting moment where you can make the course of your life. I used to presume that in that moment, I would be my bestest self automatically, because I wanted it so much, but I was SO wrong.

In the most important moments, we are flooded with chemicals from our brains which make us nervous, stupid, afraid and all sorts of things which aren't useful. So, I learned that you need to keep in mind three important things, repeat them over and over until their the first things you think to do when you find yourself facing a smile you want or love desperately:

[DoggyDude]

1) Be in the moment - This is critical, because your system will be going wild conjecturing all sorts of things like "what does this mean?", "do they like me?", "will we work out?", "will I get hurt". Turn off that part of your mind, and just experience how your feeling JUST then. Which leads to point 2.
2) Assume the best - It's natural to start doubting about 30 seconds after you feel someone smiled right at you, and its maybe less time if your right into a moment of potential intimacy. The worst possible thing is to entertain doubts, the way to not do that is to allow yourself to believe it the way you experienced it coupled with a mindset of behaving in a way that, if your wrong, you don't cause offence or make others awkward.
3) Tell them properly how your feeling - The worst mistake I personally make is feeling that saying how I feel might come over as unwelcomed, that they might feel disgusted by my emotional position or consideration of their beauty. If you don't say how you feel you will both get eaten up with regret, worry they don't know or understand how your feeling and likely decend into paranoia of how they MIGHT have felt had you let them know properly.

[DoggyDude]

Which is why you need absolutly to say, say it in the way that cannot be taken badly even if they don't feel things back... say "Hi, you look amazing!" or just say "Hi, with a huge smile" then see if they respond well, with a positive sounding "Hi" back before revealing your cards. Though I'll say its better to risk someone knowing you like them and find out they don't see you the same, than it is not to say and forever doubt HAD you said they maybe would have, and without you having said that they've move on when they otherwise might not. If your feelings are intense, it is best to water them down a little, to extreem compliment where its obvious your interested (just so they don't think you might be unbalanced, but honestly if your feeling that passionately, its better to tell them and be shot down for how you truly are than to wonder what might have happened when you didn't)

Of course, all that side, when your < 30 you should also keep the certain knoweldge your going to meet a lot of people, and maybe fall in love several times, and maybe the first feeling isn't the one. So, keep it honest, but also keep it cautious.

Best of luck!

[Asker]

Thanks this means a lot. When I first saw him I felt this strong connection but I tried to water it down but right now I feel like getting to know him and I might.
Thanks once again

[Summeroflove]

Yes! You should make a move on someone you like. The girls who refuse to ever make a move number one limit their options. If the guys that are approaching them aren’t their type, but the guys they want don’t approach them or are already taken. That’s kind of on them. Especially when other guys see other guys being rejected so they get afraid she will reject them too.

Now. With all of that said. People are scared of rejection. But if someone rejects you now you have closure and can move on. A lot of people simply sit around wasting time waiting on someone whose not even into them.

[Berweic]

Why would it be wrong? I think you make such a move with a flash of self-confidence and it's a great thing to break the rules. I find conventional things boring, so it's boring to always wait for men to make the first move. We need to make some different moves. Life is not all about monotony!

[MrQun]

Yes absolutely. I know that rejection sucks and it's quite scary. However, I once read somewhere (can't remember) that women look for reasons to disqualify men while men look for reasons to qualify women. I guarantee you that you'll stand out from all the women who are so passive in dating. And even if he is not interested I can also almost guarantee that he will be flattered and quite impressed with your courage and he will remember you for a good while.

I've seen plenty of testimonies only where men can able to remember a compliment that they received from a women 20, 30, and 50 years ago. Getting complimented by women let alone getting approached by one is so incredibly rare for us blokes that if and when it happens, if leaves a long lasting impression.

[NewgodOmega]

No it's not OK
Specially in the mgtow world
Any actions a women take is surely with a extremely bad intentions coz it's easy for women to trap and earn money from men using the bias justice system and men now understands this
A women approaching a men is a clear direct and immediate threat

[Asker]

Threat!😂😂😂😂are u for real. So a girl wouldn't want a guy genuinely because she likes him?

[NewgodOmega]

Women dont ever like someone they like what they can provide
Its Genet it science its fact
The more you say no they more you confirm this

[Sameone]

No is not good
Just give him Signal and he take control

[Asker]

Any signal ideas?

[Sameone]

Like some romantic words
Smiling one his face
Let him know when you will be free (free time )
Let him know where you want to go (coffee shop or place)
But don't do first move because he is not going to take it as serious relationship

[sawno]

Yes go for it! Works in your favor big time.

[slatyb]

Of course. There are lots of shy guys who would make terrific partners.

[exitseven]

I was deathly afraid of girls. Even of i knew a girl was into me I was too afraid to ask her out.

[Anonymous]

Guys can see green flags. But women are notoriously subtle. So subtle in fact NO ONE knows there ever was a green flag.😆

[strateguy632]

yes, preferable too.

[Anonymous]

Should be more socially acceptable but I doubt it ever will

[Sam12348]

Go for it. It's 21st century after all

[Anonymous]

Definitely ok. Welcomed even.

[OtterMan68]

yes, why wouldn't it be?

[Jamie05rhs]

Just go for it.

[shortster]

Definitely

[jahaims]

Duh.