Is it easy for you to date or do you have walls up protecting yourself from heart break?

[Finchie40]

After my long term marriage pretty much came to an end , and my wife and I decided to separate, it took me some time to get my but back out there to date again , I will meet girls’ but I no longer like rushing into anything because of what happened with my ex and I , I tend to hold walls up to protect my heart. When a girl starts prioritizing me , I start to bring the walls down and just accept it , hoping she wants the same things as me , in the beginning things are great between us , but as time goes on , it’s a 50/50 chance on whether things continue between us or end. It seems nowadays it ends more than continuing, I treat her the same way I like to be treated on return , when I commit to a girl , I stay committed and loyal , but sadly it’s a 50/50 chance on whether she will do that for me. I have met so many selfish girls’ when I started dating again , Girls’ that say they want love and to only be with 1 guy , but after some time they change their mind , so how do i find a girl that only wants one guy? Are there any out there still? Or is this world just filled with sex only Don’t get me wrong , I love sex but I also want more than just sex with a girl , I don’t have sex with girls’ just for the hell of it , but it seems girls’ today just have sex for the hell of it, my guess is because they had their heart broken before as well. How do I find a girl that actually wants more than just sex that isn’t selfish?

[Simslover92]

Oh they are out there. All my girlfriends are single and looking for that. They just want a guy who is not all about sex and actually wants a real connection and commitment. Just keep looking. Eventually you will find her. I definitely believe that because you're such a good guy!

As for me, in my 20s I did. Which is why I am just now starting to do the dating thing in my 30s. But thank goodness I did wait because I was super insecure and naive and probably would have been in a lot of bad relationships in my 20s. But I don't have walls up anymore. I'm ready for a real connection and commitment with someone that's not just based off sex. Sex is important but it certainly shouldn't be at the forefront.

So far me and this new guy I'm currently talking to haven't brought up sex once. I can tell he wants something deeper and wants to build something meaningful. I just hope that it's with me. It's still early days so I'm not going to count my chickens before they hatch but I think we are on the path to building something and I hope that it happens for you too!

[PeachyPie93]

I have my walls up and basically given up on dating.. I'm just not attractive enough and I'm not gonna go out of my way to be more attractive. So it is what it is..
I think lots of people want to date and not just have sex but most people on dating apps are just there sex and not love.

[BonzoInBitburg]

I was just like you in my late 40s. I started a new business and started traveling. I didn't want to date anyone and basically friend zoned every female I met. What I discovered was the more I friend zoned women, the more women wanted to date me. When I got my life in order and on track everything came together. Worry about you and do things for yourself and if someone wants to come along for the ride that's great, but now it's the best time to get yourself on track and live the life you want. There's no one holding you back right now

[Finchie40]

Yea that’s pretty much what I been doing

[BonzoInBitburg]

Keep trying to improve yourself and eventually people notice and want to be around you. They'll also want to introduce you to their single friends.

[serious]

I have never dated and yes I am a person who is rigid and closed minded and for me protecting myself from any potential future upsets or getting hurt, heartbreaks etc is more important than exploring things and taking risks.

Hence I always stay from the area of love, romance, dating etc. I know that I will be single for life but that is fine. I don't have any regrets.

[Zack-Bann]

Im honestly a mess when it comes to these things
On the one hand I do want women in life and would nothing more than to meet one that gets me and with whom I can build something real and long lasting
On the other hand I’m often times alone even when I’m not physically alone. It’s not natural for me to let someone in with ease

[NathanDavis]

so far... I never had any issue dating, not now, not ten years ago

but... I really have not had bad experiences myself

[Finchie40]

I wish I never experienced bad relationships but for whatever reason I did, so it’s sadly harder for me to give myself completely unless I am receiving the same exact in return.

[NathanDavis]

they so day we learn more from the wrongs, the mistake, adversity and the such...

so, I guess it is about... lessons learned and then, make it better next time

[Nikki1989]

It was never an issue for me. I dated multiple men and women non-stop for the best part of 10 years before meeting my husband, and enjoyed every minute of it.

I think heartbreak is mostly for the weak.

[QuestionObsession]

Heartbreak is for those who have a heart. Not who have just a 🕳️ to be filled. Or else it would be called a holebreak 😀 Am I funny or what!

[sage2021]

I've never had any walls up, but now I realize that I should have. And maybe I'll finish building my fortress before it's too late.😎

[Anonymous]

Yes. To both questions. I am easy to love, but I am also quick to cut somebody off when they demonstrate toxic patterns I have seen before. I don't look it as me having walls I look at it as me having battle scars. I can be tricked like anyone that trusts. But you're never going to get me with the same trick twice. We learn and we grow and we evolve.

[MrChinaski]

Walls are okay in the short-term, but my guess is that you will not achieve your life goals in the long term with high walls.

[Agape93]

I don't feel heart break, so I don't have an issue