Have you ever gotten the it’s not you it’s me speech?

Question

Angelo75 · Accepted Answer

It's a bit of a cowards way out.

Instead of actually sitting and talking things through, such a person will put a conversation on the table that the other party can't move forward with it.

In essence in the head of the person that is "giving" this speech, he/she has taken the decision to get out of the relationship/marriage and put an end to things. One-sided.

But the fact that he/she won't mention the real reason that he/she decided to leave actually means the relationship didn't have enough value in his/her eyes.
So indeed the person "giving" this speech IS the one failing.

Otherwise it would be "Because of this-and-that that you're doing and that we have talked multiple times about it, I came to this decision."
Then the one "receiving" the speech would understand whats actually the reason and he/she did receive enough warnings and got a chance to at least do something about it.

The idea is "you find someone interesting enough to get to know him/her better".
If the feeling becomes mutual, you step into a relationship. (in this phase you both are already starting to get emotionally, so quitting is already less of an option)
Then you move forward to marriage. (at this point quitting should not be an option)
Only in the first phase of "finding someone interesting" you would be thinking about quitting. After this the main idea is to deal with both ends imperfections and move on forward together.

But since nowadays relationship rules are just set on "what the media says" or "what the crowd says", well this concept is old-fashioned.
Well I guess I'm old fashioned... but steady.

ohsheeT · Accepted Answer

I give it all the time

Hey do you buy nudes no sorry I don't
They really don't do much for me..

I'm just Weird that way. I'm sure you're beautiful and I know you have to make money has nothing to do with you. It's me LO. L.

DishLady · Accepted Answer

Once... and it WAS him. He was TOO attached to his mom, who wasn't a fan of divorcees. She rushed him off to match him with someone younger and "unspoiled" she called it. What she got was a funny young thing with an STD that prevented her from making the grandbabies she wanted so badly. Oh well... Everyone says I dodged a bullet...

Simslover92 · Accepted Answer

If I'm preggers unfortunately I will have to give that speech. 😔

sage2021 · Answer

Oh yeah!! And when he said that to me I said to him "Well I know it's not me"!! Of course It's you"!!!

purplepoppy · Answer

Isn't it stating the obvious? It's always the man's fault

PeachyPie93 · Answer

Basically.. He was like "you are too good for me".. I blocked him probably a month later because he kept hitting me up..

hahahmm · Answer

Sure but it was a back & forth relationship.

loverguy123123123 · Answer

Not personally but I would rather someone be honest witn me but at least they are giving closure. Sometimes people aren’t meant to be together

exitseven · Answer

No, I never really got that speech nor have I given it.

DrPepper12 · Answer

Kinda. It was more "Now is not the time"

Anonymous · Answer

Nope, never, but that's because I was never in a relationship.

fish5505_87 · Answer

Yup, but I have also used it. 😳

RavVid · Answer

"I've changed" is close.

PrincessC16 · Answer

It's a cop out. It's an easy way to let you down.

Panthero · Answer

I have not, but I like that episode.

beebella · Answer

That's my line. 😬

Wiredone · Answer

Never had anyone say that to me

Godihateyou · Answer

No. It's always been me

Lisaasker · Answer

I think I have yes. 🙂

Jay-_- · Answer

I never did.

OldBlu · Answer

I invented it

Have you ever gotten the it’s not you it’s me speech?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said