Do you think being unmarried equals being unsuccessful or undesirable?

Question

sage2021 · Accepted Answer

I got married the first time when I was 20. But when I was 20, the world and relationships were different back then. It was pretty common to be married in our 20's. We also didn't put any kind of stigma on being married or not being married. It just was what it was.
I wouldn't even use marriage as my gauge to determine if not married means that I am successful or not successful.
You can be successful in so many different ways.
I ended up getting divorced after 4 years of being married to him and he abandoned my infant son and myself - so does that mean that I am a failure? Not at all!! I was an excellent wife and mother and I know that it wasn't my fault that we ended up divorced.
I don't even consider if I am a successful person. The thought never even came to my mind.
I always gave everything and everyone my best because it's in my nature.
Please don't allow yourself to put such pressure on yourself. If you are a good person and have helped others along the way... to me that is being successful, but even using the word successful doesn't seem to fit because I don't ask myself if I am or I am not successful or unsuccessful.
Does it really matter anyway? Who are you trying to impress?

ohsheeT · Accepted Answer

No even. As we grow in life we learn as we learn we grow we all see things different. We feel things different.. I see and feel things deeper than most people... when we come to this planet. When we are born we come prepared. We are given ever tool to live to love to Survive To exist.

And then we are introduced to choices and emotions. We are an open book. An empty cell. Everything that we learn. We watch, we see or we feel and we pick up on it fast And then we experience.

We learn thevworld is a duality world there arev2 side to you. To me to every thing

God. Satin
Yes. No
Right wrong
Good. Bad
Positive. Negative
Love. Hate

So on and so on
Success failure
You cannot have one without the other that means You?
Have to experience 12 get the best out of the other. There is a fine line between them both

When you are ready for love marriage passion desire. You will fine it. Or it will fined you.. the only thing from stoping it is you. To answer your question no they are not the same

ManOnFire · Accepted Answer

Unsuccessful? Not necessarily. There are a ton of marriages that are currently not having success. And some of those people have also married more than once. Sometimes being unmarried is an indicator that you want to be with the right person and have things work out than to just jump into a marriage and have it fail a few years from now.

Undesirable? If you're really not a very physically attractive person then, yes, that could very well be a big reason why no one is interested unfortunately, and I'm not saying that to be cruel at all but to be very real and honest. A person can also be undesirable for marriage simply because of their income, the kind of job they have, etc.

I think it is much more common for a person not to be married because others find them undesirable than unsuccessful.

HawkPerception · Answer

I must be living in a very different world, because I've been looked down upon quite a bit for not having a partner or kids at this age.

My mom always asks in a worried tone "Do you even want kids?"

Clients of mine always seem to assume I have a wife and kids and when they find out I don't, they say something along the lines of "Oh, well, I'm sure you'll find someone for you eventually." with a tone of pity.

Men get just as many people looking down on them for not having a family at a certain age.

And I definitely do want a family of my own because I'm also one of those people that pity people that don't have a family of their own.

Eventually most of those people regret not having a family for themselves. To not have kids means your bloodline dies in this generation. To not have a partner means you don't have someone to share experiences with and support you through thick and thin. Sure it may be hard to find a compatible partner, but once you do, it feels like a big aspect of your life becomes fulfilled.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

When I was single, I was successful in many other ways, and I had no problems getting dates, so I didn't feel undesirable. But for me, I felt incomplete. I got married in April 2024 and I now feel a contentment and peace that I didn't feel when I was single.

Finchie40 · Answer

Not at all , some marriages can make you unsuccessful if you marry the wrong person that blows through your hard earned money like it grows on trees and doesn’t give a rats ass about saving or making better financial moves , A marriage can be successful if you marry the right partner, A partner that works with you not against you , if you work as a team and both work full time jobs then yes you both can be successful Financially

Summeroflove · Answer

Absolutely not. Some people aren’t married by choice. They aren’t ready. Haven’t found the right person. The list goes on.

AviatorTom · Answer

Not necessarily. It could just mean the person likes to stay single.

Anonymous · Answer

Not at all, I know plenty of sh! tty, immature, selfish girls who got married, and I'm glad it never worked out between me and them because it would have been an extreme headache for me to deal with. I know guys who don't care if they send d-k pics to other women, who go to strip clubs, who would cheat on their wife or girlfriend which I think is immature and a crappier human being to do that to someone's significant other. I would say people who get married multiple times and then end up in divorce, trying to find Mr. or Mrs. Perfect, should take a look at themselves in the mirror with their failed relationships and marriages. I used to beat myself up about it. If girls or women don't find me desirable so be it, but i've seen who these girls have chosen and they aren't hot super model guys either so why should I be offended?

As a guy marriage doesn't benefit me -- from a guy's POV, women and girls initiate divorce and break up more, apparently 70-80% of the time. If I'm a hardworking, loyal, caring guy and she does something to me to break up for petty reasons. I won't respect her ever again for purposely hurting me when I gave 100% and for the girls or women reading this saying, if she breaks up there must be a reason. Yeah, I have 3 older sisters and majority of my family are females and I have all told them, "stop being stubborn", "enough with the drama", "grow up", "you don't know a good thing when you see one" and much more. It's quite delusional for a female to think a guy has to end things on normal terms if she acts like a b! tch to him. That's like me demanding a raise, threatening to quit to my boss and my boss saying and I quit while expecting they give me a pat on the back for a job well done, nah, life doesn't work like that even in the relationship world.

OneViewpoint · Answer

Unsuccessful? It depends. Was your goal to be married by a certain age? Then if you aren't married at that point you were unsuccessful. Does the average person you meet have any idea what your goal is? Nope, not unless you wear assign around your neck. So they won't judge you as successful or unsuccessful.

Some people choose to never get married. Some people delay it to focus on a career. Some people get married and then their spouse gets hit by a truck or they get divorced because they can't get along and they end up single again. Personally I don't spend any time picking apart the personal choices people make or the cards life deals them.

RingOfFire · Answer

From nature's point of view being married doesn't have any meaning (though I suspect if marriage did have a meaning to nature it would considered a positive behavior).

But not having any children, married or not, from nature's point of view, means you are unsuccessful because if not enough people have children the human species won't survive. So nature has designed people with mechanisms to encourage them to have children and discourage them from behaviors that don't promote procreation.

elizamichale1 · Answer

No not at all... getting married is your choice not a sign of success or failure..

If your logic is to be believed then why do people end up divorcing... dont they like success? n then why so many married people are struggling extraordinarily n hav been unable to find any success...

Hellraiser1984 · Answer

I didn't get married for several reasons. My father's side is crazy and wants me dead, I don't want to deal with a father in law, I like geek stuff so women are naturally repelled by it, I'm overweight and I don't think I would be happy. I have never believed any woman will ever love me ever. I'm not ugly it's just the stress of relationships looks like a complete mindf ck to me. It's too much stress and I'm too insecure to try. I just completed grad school to become a school counselor so I don't feel like I'm a failure on the job part but I feel like a failure on the me part. I feel I'm not good enough for any woman and no woman will ever love me. I gave up on love. I won't ever speak to a woman unless it pertains to work matters or small talk at the grocery store.

itsannalee · Answer

Not at all. Being unmarried and having good quality life is much better than married but suffering and can’t even afford goods food, vacations, fashion. etc

Don’t get married because of society pressures but do it if you want it.

Babygirl_S · Answer

Being married to a whorebag who licks filthy whore buttholes ( that never use soap down there and are promiscuous) and then expects you to stay loyal to him and have sex with him is actually not only a lot worse emotionally but also dangerous due to potential STDs his whore can transmit to a superior woman.

dragoblack · Answer

Pfft no. That's a government propaganda to promote "the American dream" which is unrealistic nowadays. Best thing you can do is find inner peace with one's own existence, learn to self reflect, and mature emotionally & intellectually, to the point of finding joy in being yourself and what you do

Maybe_Maybe_not · Answer

I think being unmarried is going to be seen as a disgrace in very traditional environments, dubious in traditional environments, and trivial information in other locations?

I'm located in the trivial zone.

Miristheiss · Answer

It most likely means you believed and followed the propaganda that career is everything, working for a boss is a paramouny purpose, kids and family are oppression and that your endless happiness and search for pleasure is the meaning of existance. Biology and normal reproduction are "slavery".

You bought the propaganda.

MrChinaski · Answer

You are 20. I married at 25 and even that is considered young these days. Let it flow, friend.

abc3643 · Answer

God no! It means you are being smart to avoid that trap because nothing in the universe (other than good health) is better than freedom and relationships destroy freedom.

Jove79 · Answer

not having children and being unmarried to a man is different to a woman in my opinion. Women think they’ll get judged if not.. guys don’t get judged as much for it.

Kinda weird, when I see an older single guy, it’s like who cares.. but an older single woman with no kids makes me wonder, why didn't she found someone to get married to and start a family

Renegade_Sailor · Answer

No, marriage is not the metric. There are plenty of married people who are miserable and hate each other.

What matters is that you find someone you care about and can have a better life with together than you can apart.

glennos89 · Answer

No ofcourse not! Marriage is a status thing amongst woman only. Men dont value marriage in any way other then making their woman happy. But woman value marriage as a form of prestige which doesn't, make any sense to me anymore because a lot of those woman will end up initiating the divorce just for the financial and material benefits it will give them. More and more men aren't willing to marry anymore because of it

Jackblue · Answer

Absolutely not, a lot of the greatest people on earth such as Sir Isaac Newton and Jane Austin never married. Most of the great philosophers never married. Society likes to tell us that the key to being great is following tradition, when you are young respect your elders and study hard, when you are an adult find a stable job, get married, and have children. However it is the people who defy convention that mostly make history.

thegreenyogi · Answer

No not at all. It just means your life path hasn't intersected with the life path of another that wishes to walk by your side on the same path.

Stella0 · Answer

No. Some people choose and want to be single. And not all marriage are successful.

Smegskull · Answer

I think objectively it would make you unsuccessful. Either you have a child and fail to secure the provisions for that child or you don't have a child. Which is unsuccessful from a societal or evolutionary perspective, respectively.

I don't think it necessarily makes one undesirable though.

molonski2 · Answer

Ohh wholly Sht  NO WAY. With 70 % failure rate in real terms? The opposite is true.

RavVid · Answer

For me it means I get to keep all my own assets and being a success.

Alex-Snow · Answer

Not at all. We all have different values and life choices. Do u not want to get married? Or maybe just a boyfriend for some fun?

WonderingManII · Answer

It depends on the situation. If you are around a lot of people that could be mates and they don't want you, then yes.

Fireguy17 · Answer

nope, why would it. They just chose to be single vs married. Nothing wrong with that at all.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

It can, but its more often just people having bad luck on finding a mental match.

Shiprex · Answer

No it means you're not rushing into something or making rash decisions based on norms and desires. Perhaps (hopefully) you're being smart and hanging in their for the right option

Babebytheshore85 · Answer

It looks really bad for a woman vs a man. Woman are generally not the ones to be rejected unless she not pretty. Men are visual so it's looks first, personality, how she treats him, does she have a brain. Now men on the other hand are often rejected unless they're the top 10% men meaning extremely wealthy which gives them the ability to choose who they want. With how easy it is for women for her to be unmarried yes it equals unsuccessful.

DCVsMarvel2 · Answer

You don't have to be married to be successful. Getting a good paying job, makes you successful

Rahul_44 · Answer

No not at all, this could also mean you were too focused and invested in your career or to persue your passion, that you didn’t have enough time to get married.

DonaldDarko · Answer

Badge of honor to me.

AndrésC64 · Answer

Absolutely not. Could just as easily be seen the opposite way. To each their own.0

ProbablyClueless · Answer

No. But speaking as a single 32 year old; if you're single after the age of 30, there's always a reason.

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

No. My parents shared 53 years of largely wedded bliss.

uncutgem · Answer

hell no... not being married shouldn't even be a unit of judgement unless they had many divorces

biraileeşkadını · Answer

No living being can live without a heart; without soulmates, the world wouldn't exist.

exitseven · Answer

Not necessarily. I know a few guys that just never wanted to get married.

DianaV · Answer

Not at all. Sometimes peace of mind is better than any relationship.

MasterKS · Answer

No, marriage is just nothing than a boring contract.

robocop666 · Answer

I know hot women and they have no interest in marriage.

xyzguy1296 · Answer

No , what's the connection between success and marriage?

Gaylordslav · Answer

Depends, I've never been asked if i had a girlfriend

FreyaRed · Answer

rather the opposite

Anonymous · Answer

Yes, it sometimes equals being undesirable or unsuccessful.

chocolatetwopointo · Answer

nope marriage is pointless and its js made as a sociatal standard

Anonymous · Answer

It definitely feels that way to me yes.

HДLILБΞУ · Answer

no i don't think so..

WilliamPamer446 · Answer

No but after you hit 34 maybe

WhitneySnow · Answer

Not at all

Reina04 · Answer

No cause don’t wanna marry until you’re ready.

Vegasrunner · Answer

For women absolutely

johnwo · Answer

no you dont haveto be married

Staximus · Answer

No, it's not the 1800's anymore

January_Sixth · Answer

Not at all

Ironic_Method · Answer

Not at all.

LiamJHayden · Answer

Nope

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