I have 5 different guys asking me out on a date, but I don’t feel like going out with anyone. What should I do?

[Pearl222]

I’m attracted to only two of them, but one is leaving for another country in 3 days, so it won’t go anywhere and the other guy is new to the city and wants to explore together.
The other 3, I’m not very attracted to but enjoyed talking to.

[aaron13547]

What you want to do? Love is selfish. If you want to not hurt people you have to be honest with yourself first. I'd tell them they are nice guys but not what you are looking for. It's important to love yourself before you try to love someone else because loving someone else is giving them the power to make you happy. Sounds like you love yourself enough to know these guys don't have that power... tell them that. it might hurt then a little now but it will hurt you both more if you don't. I like dating apps because I don't have a problem telling people no. I know exactly what I want and that isn't near impossible to find. That don't mean I give up looking. It just means I have to try harder... thats what apps are useful for me, in person its easy to settle with someonethat makes you happier instead of the "happiest". you are worth it and you know it. Don't be afraid to shout that to the world. That's my strategy...

[Pearl222]

True, I have to be honest and tell them no. I guess I just felt a little guilty for sort of leading them on/flirting in a way, although that wasn’t my intention.

[aaron13547]

Don't look at it that way. You gave them the chance to get to know you. If it does hurt them for you to say no, it hurts because talking to you felt good... its not fair if you make them feel better then they do you... feel grateful you learned from them and they learned from you. I try to be grateful for opportunity even when it seems like i just brush it off. Failure isn't reason to try less or feel bad. It's what makes me try harder and get better. All the pretty women that told me no, made me into the strong person I am today. I didn't appreciate it at the time but I do now... you know your intentions at any given moment, that's all that matters. Someone else will see your intentions only when they are ready.

[Pearl222]

That’s very true, that perspective does make a lot of sense and doesn’t make me feel bad for saying no, because they seem to be good guys but they’re not “the one” for me. Thanks for sharing your experience. One guy actually asked what he did wrong 😅, I just had to say I’m sorry but there’s just no chemistry.

[aaron13547]

It's hard to help anyone see when they are standing in their own way... you did the right thing in my opinion. You lead by example. I think the best way to make someone better is be better yourself. People naturally follow you wanting that better you have. you can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink it... I think you did more for dude then he realized if he thinks he did something wrong. To tell him that thinking that statement is what he did wrong... that wouldn't help... you helped more then you know doing exactly as you have. You gave him a chance if nothing else, I see it as a gift 😉. Flowers don't last forever, they last as long as they last...

[AviatorTom]

Write each one's name on a ping pong ball and put them all in a bowl. Draw the first one out and go out with him. Then, a few days later, draw the second one out, and keep doing that for all 5 guys. You might find out you like one or more of them.

Just because you aren't attracted to a guy before dating him... that doesn't mean you might be attracted when you learn more about him.

[AvaRay]

U don’t owe anyone your time or presence just because they r interested..

If your heart’s not in it, don’t force it..

Attraction n connection can’t be scheduled..

Take a step back, breathe, n enjoy your own company for a while..

The right person won’t need u to choose between your peace n their persistence..

Sometimes, not going on any date is the most powerful decision u can make, it means u value genuine connection over temporary attention..

[NoDecision]

That is something you will have to figure out yourself since you are the only one whose opinion counts in the matter. You will only have yourself to congratulate if it goes good, or yourself to blame if you make the wrong choice. Do your homework and get it figured out- the pros and cons of each guy - before you make your final choice.

[OlderAndWiser]

If you don't feel like going on a date with any of them, why are you asking this question? Just wanted to brag?

[ohsheeT]

Been there and do that. I dont know why. But yah I guess just be patient

Sometimes I have to laugh at myself. Because the last 2 relationships have been LDR

[HawkPerception]

You just answered your own question. Don't go out with anyone of them

[Zack-Bann]

The truth is on dating apps you will always have at least 5 guys interested in meeting you


You shouldn’t feel obligated


Don’t go on a date you’re not in the mood for trust me it will go badly

[sage2021]

My, what a tangled Webb we weave!

I think 🤔 you already know to let the other 3 down easily and go for it with the other two.
Then hopefully one day it will be only one left standing.
This reminded me of the TV show "The Bachelorette" 😅😅

[Fireguy17]

Just let them know you are not interested in dating anyone, but enjoy spending time with them.
That way you aren't wasting their time if they are looking for someone to start a relationship with, because it won't be with you.
If they choose to keep having false hopes of something developing with you then that is their problem, not yours, because you told them straight out that it wasn't going to happen.

[Zionne]

You don’t have to say yes to anyone just to please them — it’s okay to wait until you actually want to go out. If you’re curious about the new guy in the city, a casual meet-up could be fun without pressure. Otherwise, politely decline the others and focus on what feels genuine for you.

[loveslongnails]

Are you serious? You don't go out with anyone you don't want to go out with. I'll wager that at least 2 out of the 3 you currently enjoy talking to will withdraw interest once you tell them you just want to talk and be "friends", and will ghost you. The other guy will hang on for a while, thinking you'll change your mind. When you don't, he'll ghost you to. Care to make a bet? :)

[Purpleronnie]

There is def a joke in there about “ 5 Guys “ but at the risk of offending I will control myself.


Not sure what advice anyone could offer assuming nobody here is one of the 5. Do what you want? At the very least it’s 5 free meals 😉😂

[Pearl222]

Hahaha I get the joke 😂 don’t want to use anyone just for free meals though

[Purpleronnie]

Glad you said that , wasn’t being mean intentionally just poking fun at any woman that might think that way.

[Desi_Butcher]

Your comfort is the most important. If you don't feel like going out with anyone, then don't.

[Likes2drive]

So go with the guy that wants to explore the city, maybe you’ll change your mind about dating later on

[OneViewpoint]

"I don’t feel like going out with anyone. What should I do?"

The solution seems painfully simple. Don't go out with any of them.

[jazzy34]

"I don’t feel like going out with anyone." There's your answer. Don't overcomplicate this.

[kathypie124]

Girl just stay away from these things don't let yourself be confused just move on and the right person will find you eventually

[Drumlin2001]

Sleep with the one who's leaving. Hang out with the one who wants to explore. Stop wasting the time of the others

[heruncommonsense]

If you don't want to go out with anyone, don't go out with anyone.

[katiesmuff]

Seems to me just go about your day and enjoy the fact that you don't have a date at the moment.

[purplepoppy]

I'd opt for the new guy. You can always dump him when someone better comes along.

[Pohjolan]

What's the point of dating someone you intend to dump anyway?

[WhitneySnow]

Don’t go with any of them except maybe the new guy who wants to explore

[RavVid]

Just politely decline is all you need to do.

[dragoblack]

Just communicate with them, what you just told us. It's that simple. If any of the guys act butthurt, just block them. You don't need guy that act like that in your life

[HisBro]

Then go on a date with one or both of the two you're attracted to

[WonderingManII]

Go with the guy that is new to the city and wants to explore together.

[stratford]

There is a very simple solution, but it might get messy...

[fivebyfour]

Offer to show the new guy to the city around as friends and just see how things go,,,

[Alex-Snow]

Just say no or pick one which you think might be the best fit

[Finchie40]

Don’t go out with anyone lol

[AngryCarl2]

Date the new guy. Not doing a thing because you don't feel like it is lame.

[Vegasrunner]

Build yourself up so you are capable of attracting guys you'll love respect and admire.

[Cidknee]

Date all 5 and make it a contest. Let us know who wins. 😅

[JesseP1nk]

That topic is just to flex - you dont wanna go out with them then why ask?

[Anonymous]

Sounds like a weird flex, I will take shit that never happened for 500 Alex..

[Anonymous]

You should pick between those two guys you like.

[RxR0954]

if you don’t feel like it then don’t

[Nikki1989]

Go for the new guy.

[DrPepper12]

Keep them on a leash but go have fun

[LiamJHayden]

Tell them all "No thank you."

[Sal_Monella]

Tell them you are just getting over COVID.

[fish5505_87]

It's tough to be liked!

[qwerty2469]

You should stay at home and be boring

[spartan55]

Nice humble brag.

[Jmmmfi4]

Must be nice to have that problem

[MeAndYouRightHere]

Dont go Out with them then

[slatyb]

Turn them down.

[tzdc21]

Just say no then

[Anonymous]

Slap them

[Pterodon]

Say no

[msc545]

Stay home.

[In_Trance]

Say no

[Sebastian100]

Be honest