Agree or Disagree, dating someone who has totally different views and lifestyle choices is usually a recipe for disaster?

[Anonymous]

Agree

Disagree

[HollyK21]

I’d say this — opposites do attract, but at the end of the day you should agree on fundamental levels. Like if you’re a shy person for example, it’s probably better to date someone who is more confident, because that can help bring you out of your shell. However your fundamental beliefs can be less-negotiable, like religion, politics, etc.

[MrChinaski]

I don't consider religion and politics 'fundamental beliefs'.

Having some shared notion of goodness, honesty, meaning and purpose is fundamental. Religion and politics are just quirky paths towards that.

[HollyK21]

I relatively agree (I say relatively because I dont fully consider politics as fundamental. Some people are deeply serious about their political beliefs next to religion) on the politics. But on the religion, not quite (I say not quite because I’m always open to interpretation👍).

By definition, fundamental beliefs are the foundational principles, assumptions, or doctrines that an individual, group, or organization accepts as absolute truth. Couldn’t that align with someone’s ideology surrounding religion? Some people will not waver when it comes to religion, it is fundamental.

[MrChinaski]

For some it is. And it's a fair point to raise.

I could happily be with someone of any religion was a part of their life that supported pursuit of values I admire.

If the religion is the end, rather than the means, in their pursuit then I would find that difficult to respect.

It probably says more about me than revealing some fundamental truth about relationships.

[Wholesome_Glory]

Alignment is the only way to sustain a life worth living. Seeking a partner who pulls you away from your highest potential is a waste of your finite time. You are here to fulfill a singular, elevated purpose that demands your full presence and clarity. When you commit yourself to a standard of absolute excellence, you naturally transcend the trivial distractions that satisfy others. Choose someone who recognizes that greatness is the only meaningful pursuit. Build a life that reflects your internal integrity instead of settling for comfort. True fulfillment comes when your actions serve a reality higher than your own impulses. Find a person who stands with you in that devotion and you will find a strength that justifies everything.

[sawno]

I agree but I am very forward with my views as a test. She will either be open to reason or already on the same page or ill loose interest very quickly. I've dated someone who I was on the same page with which was great, I dated a girl who never payed attention and was shocked at some of the things I mentioned. Both work. But if she has a bias against my views and isn't willing to listen and find a way to compromise that works for us there is absolutely no point.

[Nikki1989]

Not a disaster per se, but the work you put into the relationship must increase by 99%. When you're on the same page, life is a pleasure.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

In my age range, I totally agree.

But since you're not then... 20 years ago I don't think it mattered to me, my idea was more to hop in the train and see where it goes, future, or the fate of our relationship wasn't important. At least much less important than just fully experiencing a relationship

[MrChinaski]

You've changed, man...

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

@MrChinaski Oh yes, a lot, I'm done with trial and error, in this department at least !

[MrChinaski]

How likely are you to learn, grow, become a better person and live an interesting life with someone exactly like you?

Marry the person least like yourself you can bear to live with.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

How likely are you to even find someone exactly like you? 😏

[MrChinaski]

@Maybe_Maybe_not I know people that have.

[MrChinaski]

@Maybe_Maybe_not Or at least they sure look identical from the outside.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

... From the outside

[lilBigPotato]

Maybe not a disaster , but it certainly doesn't help and makes it less likely to work out.

[LazerBean]

Yes, and not to mention dumb.

[DeeDeeDeVour]

Not necessarily.

[Anonymous]

Yes, that is a no go.

[Samflowerrr]

Agree