Girls, how can I get more ready and confident for a relationship?

[Anonymous]

I (22M) have a lot going well for me. I've graduated from college, have a job I really enjoy, have a great social circle and family, and have some of the best friends. I have been making a lot more female friends over the last few years which has been great, and have been trying to get into the gym more consistently to improve my fitness, physique and confidence. I just haven't really found a situation yet where I really feel like pursuing a girl and haven't had that urge to get into a relationship, and maybe that is ok for now. I don't have any siblings and went to an all guys school so that has probably had a bit of an impact. I would much prefer to wait until I feel ready than to rush anything. For me right now, I think the biggest thing is to meet more girls and get more comfortable with them, so that when I do meet someone who I really like I will be ready to go.

I am wanting to do my masters studies next year at a different college and I think that could be a good opportunity to meet more girls and be more confident in myself. I have started hanging out with people from work in a mixed group and have been going on group hikes with them which has been really good. I think it would be worthwhile to join some mixed sports clubs on campus when I start studying again too, as I am attracted to people who are also quite athletic. I would also like to enjoy the college life more by doing fewer subjects to allow more time for me to be social. I have never really approached girls out of the blue. I find that a bit forward and it takes me a while to warm up to people in general. I also definitely need to have a good connection with her before I get into anything serious.

Any thoughts on this, girls? Open to any and all comments/suggestions.

[jennifer_bloom]

So I would say to get a girl who likes you for who you are and what you are capable of becoming. I had guys lie to me about their I. q. or their age, and a real relationship involves being loved for who you are, what you are capable of becoming, and how you are naturally created at birth. It is great to exercise and study and build social skills, but changing yourself a million times over to be a carbon copy of other people is not the way to get the most compatible girl for you. As well, choose a woman with attractive traits, not a woman that appears more easy and more available than other women. And look for a modest and family oriented woman who is emotionally responsive to kindness, not a spider women that wants money and status.

[Nikki1989]

Confidence in relationships begins with knowing yourself clearly — not the idealized version but the real one.